Garrison Keillorhttp://web.conradreynolds.comGarrison KeillorFri, 03 Apr 2026 16:01:34 GMTPyRSS2Gen-1.1.0http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss2025-11-14 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>Christmas shopping a bit early</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup 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top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTE0MDIxODIxLjMuNmRkODdiYjRmYzc0ODc3NUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3ODg1MTYzMSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjMwODY3NzcsImV4cCI6MTc2NTY3ODc3NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.Gp1LTkdimHzc9ywfjaNjZtSHOmcr6cJ-zu6SWnKNguk" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">SAVE 20% on ALL BOOKS!</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a 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transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-14T02:18:28.872Z">Nov 14</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" 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0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTE0MTEwMjI0LjMuYTJlMDI0ZThjYTFjMjU0OUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3ODgyNjk3MSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjMxMTgzOTYsImV4cCI6MTc2NTcxMDM5NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.V_DbQckvUBPsfmtCxgpusD7U0MNPVAN8KcsV1y_MSOU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 11.13.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, 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href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-14T11:04:07.461Z">Nov 14</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I don&#8217;t like to read about new medical discoveries for fear I may learn the wrong things, such as the news that childhood virus may be a factor in old-age dementia, which strikes me as brutally unfair, my having grown up one of six kids who passed viruses around like we shared beds and towels and hardly ever covered our mouths when we coughed. Mother said, &#8220;You&#8217;re going to get sick anyway, might as well hurry up and get it over with.&#8221; Little did she know it would lead to becoming a moron and nincompoop at the age of 83.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="724" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/94f04fb5-d3e0-45d3-8fe8-deb90b697a5e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/3c729d27-ecac-4680-b727-1b3d2b5d6797_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:221902,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/178826971?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3c729d27-ecac-4680-b727-1b3d2b5d6797_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="366.91988950276243" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZJY8!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3c729d27-ecac-4680-b727-1b3d2b5d6797_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Not saying I am one, understand, only that I&#8217;m running a risk I didn&#8217;t know was there. I am still pursuing my goal of becoming the Country&#8217;s Oldest Successful Stand-Up Comic.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Which country, pray tell?&#8221; you ask. That remains to be seen. My grandfather James was Canadian, so I have freedom of choice. Canada would give me the freedom to be provincial.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I caught a bug two weeks ago that produced no fever, no cough, no aches and chills, but it laid me low, I slept all night and half the day, was logy and dull, forgetful, had no appetite, so that it made my true love anxious. She was playing viola in a Mozart opera out West, enjoying herself, amusing her relatives, looking at great art, attending lectures, and when she phoned me to report on her hithering and spiritual furthering, I sensed that I didn&#8217;t cause her pulse the usual excitation. She loved me faithfully but not wantonly and with abandon.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;What is the cause of this heavy torpor?&#8221; I asked myself. &#8220;Could it be the fact that I am 83? Heaven forfend. &#8217;Tis but a late bloom of youth. Could it be that I&#8217;ve abandoned any semblance of exercise and probably couldn&#8217;t do ten pushups in a row if a dagger were held to my throat? Prithee, unhand that thought!&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">No, it is the gathering dark of autumn, the baring of the trees, the onset of winter, traces of snow already, the season of regrets for all I failed to accomplish in spring and summer. And regret that I did a benefit show in October.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="468" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c6aa7202-500d-4ade-859c-b888bbf6dbee?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0b27a0ff-4c00-4886-8380-f3a7c7f6e311_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:468,&quot;bytes&quot;:128524,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/178826971?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0b27a0ff-4c00-4886-8380-f3a7c7f6e311_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="468" height="312.21546961325964" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!F1yJ!,w_468,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0b27a0ff-4c00-4886-8380-f3a7c7f6e311_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I went to an Old Folks&#8217; Home and did my stand-up act. It was a home for elderly musicians, The Dotted Rest, in the old Victor warehouse where phonographs were kept, the Victor turntables that put thousands of musicians on the dole, and now poor old broken-down pianists and songwriters sleep in rows of cots with flypaper hanging down from the ceiling, their cruel keepers herding them off to their pitiful repasts.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Please keep your show to forty-five minutes or less and please do not ask them to sing along, it will break your heart,&#8221; I was told.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>It was sad to see them, former ballet stars pushing walkers, great guitar-pickers who published instruction manuals and now their fingers were too torn up to hold a fork and spoon, singer-songwriters who once were household names and now nobody came to visit them &#8212; their children had gone to Yale and Harvard on the royalties, their grandchildren flew to Paris on a whim, but here were the neglected stars of yesterday wandering confused and forgotten in second-hand clothing and squalor, subsisting on freeze-dried hotdish and listening to themselves on tape cassettes of </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion, </em><span>the once-popular radio variety show. Chet and Butch and Bill, Sean and Don and Phil, once young people worshipped them and now the young are old themselves but they are not in old folks&#8217; homes, no, they are in &#8220;senior living facilities,&#8221; and what is the difference twixt the two? A corporate executive&#8217;s salary, that&#8217;s what. When you subsist on the pittance from the A.F. of M. you get stuck in a cell with a stool at the window. Your only therapy is if you can&#8217;t pee, then they give you a diaper. And if you get hyper, pop in a pill. What a thrill.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="469" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/9415f5b3-c8dd-4ab6-93b0-81da7e13f540?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e9e89b16-0c2c-4b01-a26c-1ea3bda80658_723x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:723,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:469,&quot;bytes&quot;:221266,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/178826971?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe9e89b16-0c2c-4b01-a26c-1ea3bda80658_723x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="469" height="313.3153526970954" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lnGV!,w_469,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe9e89b16-0c2c-4b01-a26c-1ea3bda80658_723x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Hear me now, youngsters. Save the piles of money you gain from AI, hoard the riches you harvest through robotics and the replacement of peasants by circuitry. Put your offspring on meager allowances and let them know: </span><em>that much and no more and don&#8217;t ask.</em></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Then gather your ill-gotten gains and join me at Paradise Point. The rooms are sunny, the food is good enough, and the staff is worshipful. When was the last time you felt truly adored? Tell the truth now. How long since your ring has been kissed?</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=178826971&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc4ODI2OTcxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjMxMTgzOTUsImV4cCI6MTc2NTcxMDM5NSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.BGbM1LsutZL-pTh1CNQaWJZNFDNDsuEKIqFSjCtUYYM&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Enjoy Garrison Keillor&#8217;s </span><em><strong>Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80</strong></em><span>, an uplifting and humorous audiobook about finding joy and wisdom in growing older.</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTE5MTEwMzEwLjMuNjFlNjlkYjUxZDg3N2I2N0BtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTc5Mjk0MTIyLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2MzU1MDU1OSwiZXhwIjoxNzY2MTQyNTU5LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.Gqg6N2-8iFTnWarYOwVHf5jpUYGaloc5bN-007y0VSA" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 11.17.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, 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class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179294122&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5Mjk0MTIyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM1NTA1NTksImV4cCI6MTc2NjE0MjU1OSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.waoUgkYXOYTX-tJtr4fkSv_sduDgaaVuYhuuGhW1_HA" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The storyteller hits the road</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 11.17.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-19T11:06:18.916Z">Nov 19</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Old age is the age of gratitude, when I come to appreciate the beautiful details in life such as Lenny our doorman in New York who says, &#8220;Taxi?&#8221; as I come across the lobby pushing a suitcase and when I say, &#8220;Please,&#8221; he hustles out into the street and lets fly with a classic two-finger whistle like the shriek of a predator and a taxi makes a swift U-turn and pulls up and Lenny grabs the bag and throws it in the trunk.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c2e4e5f1-ed8d-4f1c-923e-b74ad90ccd47?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/fbbaa069-3791-4779-95d2-6c806862a77d_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:465396,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179294122?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffbbaa069-3791-4779-95d2-6c806862a77d_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pPP7!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffbbaa069-3791-4779-95d2-6c806862a77d_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s a moment you see in classic New York movies but not much in New York except for Lenny who is from Brazil. Other doormen, I think, are history majors who dropped out of Columbia and they just raise an arm to hail a cab which I can do perfectly well myself. It&#8217;s the shriek that gives a sense of New York urgency. We had to go to Brazil to find the right man.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;They&#8217;re talking about you up and down the West Side,&#8221; I tell him. He says, &#8220;I can wait.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am off to LaGuardia to go on tour for ten days with my solo stand-up show telling stories and not a single word about the Emperor and His Court of Cronies.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I am not a civics instructor, people. You want to know about him, read the </span><em>Times. </em><span>My parents, John and Grace, fell in love in 1932, a farm boy and a city girl, and she loved FDR and Eleanor and he did not and it wasn&#8217;t a problem. I want to walk out on stage and do ninety minutes, maybe more, during which the Emperor will never be mentioned nor hinted at. The closest I come is when I recite the Gettysburg Address, which we memorized in Mrs. Moehlenbrock&#8217;s fourth-grade class. Abraham Lincoln was the Emperor&#8217;s opposite, articulate, humble, principled, devoted to public service, devoted to a great cause and not out to advance himself and his pals.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/90b0fd1c-9cb6-4536-b324-133bdf3dfad6?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/20c07e3d-bd2c-42a5-a396-127d3b54e3d4_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:184448,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179294122?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F20c07e3d-bd2c-42a5-a396-127d3b54e3d4_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zMZk!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F20c07e3d-bd2c-42a5-a396-127d3b54e3d4_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Poor Edward Everett, the former president of Harvard, the main speaker at the dedication. He spoke for two hours and nobody remembered a word he said except &#8220;the&#8221; and &#8220;us&#8221; and maybe &#8220;behoove,&#8221; and Lincoln spoke for two minutes and the grace and beauty of the words endure to this day. Let it be a lesson to us all. Less can be more. The saving grace of the laptop computer is the Delete key.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I want my show to be remembered by the audience so I tell stories. I grew up with storytellers. The relatives I love to talk to are the ones who like to talk about Grandma Keillor and the aunts and uncles and not analytically but in stories. Like the time Dad was driving Grandma to Jo&#8217;s and the road was icy and the car spun around two or three times and came to a stop and Grandma said, &#8220;John, are we still heading north?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Or Grandma and her twin sister Dell who learned Morse code as kids so they could give each other answers in school while taking tests.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/a392fc03-0dee-4b62-9620-357b83a661d9?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7b5fa06c-71e7-4fcc-9a16-9dbca1361ffa_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:97404,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179294122?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b5fa06c-71e7-4fcc-9a16-9dbca1361ffa_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.23204419889504" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lsVf!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7b5fa06c-71e7-4fcc-9a16-9dbca1361ffa_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Dad&#8217;s sister Ruth and his uncle Lew Powell visited us on Saturday nights and they reminisced while we passed around a plate of peanut brittle and sugar wafers. Ruth&#8217;s husband, Ray, and Lew&#8217;s wife, Ada, sat quietly, Ray stepping out for a smoke now and then, we kids silent, as the two storytellers ranged across family history from the Twenties and Thirties all the way back to the 18</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> century and the voyage of Thomas Keillor from Yorkshire, a hard trip that surely contributed to his death two years later, but his son James survived and thrived and we intermingled with the Crandalls, including Prudence who committed racial integration before Connecticut was ready for it and was banished to Kansas. A woman we&#8217;re proud to be connected to, and so was Katherine Hepburn, not that I&#8217;m claiming connection to her, I&#8217;m not, but it&#8217;s okay with me if you&#8217;re impressed anyway.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I lay by Uncle Lew&#8217;s two-tone brogans and kept very very still. I did not want the grown-ups to be aware of me and think about bedtime, didn&#8217;t want this evening to come to an end. I loved the stories, loved those two voices, Ruth&#8217;s more melodic, Lew&#8217;s with various throat clearings and clickings, nobody interrupting, no irrelevant footnotes or exegesis.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Theory can be interesting but stories are real. America is not an authoritarian culture and those who want to make it so will become a very memorable story. 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} @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup 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32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 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(min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTE5MTIwMzA1LjMuMzljMGNiYmVkNmZiNTg3YUBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTc5MjgzNDkxLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJvbmx5X2ZyZWUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM1NTQxNTMsImV4cCI6MTc2NjE0NjE1MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.sTO_uSaCQdhocjpZHv_BAqM7EtyaIRW8bqUQuC20Dng" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">15 CDS - $35 off retail</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGZnJvbS10aGUtYXJjaGl2ZXMtbW9ub2xvZ3Vlcy1mcm9tIiwicCI6MTc5MjgzNDkxLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjM1NTQxNTMsImV4cCI6MjA3OTEzMDE1MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.Va9mDs-kbFcLeuQrSTmmNUClnkMG1yvxWk2yWMbQAAc?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179283491&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5MjgzNDkxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM1NTQxNTMsImV4cCI6MTc2NjE0NjE1MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.fkXV0AjQmWEFCEAJF8RplNYVlpRaOwYjsLfqd4pju58" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">From the Archives (Monologues from the 1980s)</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">15 CDS - $35 off retail</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El 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uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-19T12:05:02.745Z">Nov 19</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table 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Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;"><h1 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 2em;margin-top: 0;margin: 0 0 1em 0;"><strong>From the Archives: The News from Lake Wobegon BOXED SET (all 5 collections &#8212; 15 CDs)</strong></h1><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Regular Price $124.95</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/2132e365-2257-4973-a820-41574a8d48c9?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">SPECIAL SALE PRICE $89.00</a></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>If you have missed the News from Lake Wobegon stories, these will all seem brand-new since they have been locked in the vault and unheard since the mid-1980s. Celebrate the holiday season with some great storytelling! Each collection gathers together the stories from a broadcast season of </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion</em><span>.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Included: 1980, 1981, 1982, 1983, and 1984 (each is a 3-CD sets)</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="492" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/baada322-08d7-465a-aa9d-fd5705a522eb?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: 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100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 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height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup 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32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { 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.audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTIxMDIwMTA3LjMuMWQ2ZTQ2MDYzMjlkYmEyN0BtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTc5NTEyNzIwLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2MzY5MDYyMiwiZXhwIjoxNzY2MjgyNjIyLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.3Db0t-Hueq4Xc9LbFXMwb5CULqNuRxCQ4N7EUgsjONA" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">Celebrating our Veterans</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGYmFjay1yb29tLW5vdmVtYmVyLXBvZXRyeS1jb250ZXN0IiwicCI6MTc5NTEyNzIwLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjM2OTA2MjEsImV4cCI6MjA3OTI2NjYyMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.AsepgklkIhjo7stiOg4xvw0orvgKnUO0gqHSJPqhWCE?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179512720&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5NTEyNzIwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM2OTA2MjEsImV4cCI6MTc2NjI4MjYyMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.f_ZDOohQOyrBJqEhGJO4Drp5bJuAmzHmX1FmT7vqOcA" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">THE BACK ROOM - NOVEMBER POETRY CONTEST</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">Celebrating our Veterans</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El 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uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-21T02:02:02.701Z">Nov 21</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VKds!,w_495,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa922f4eb-8b86-499b-bf9f-35460504492a_828x466.png" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">Those who took up arms to fight for peace, Who plied the seas from distant pole to pole, Some sank beneath the waves, from life released, Too many sailed back home with death-bruised soul: They dropped from skies to fight on foreign soil, And waded onto hostile beaches dire As inch by inch they won, through deadly toil The Freedoms we now claim, no honor higher. Each gave their best years for our country&#8217;s sake, For which we all too easily for granted, Their blood, sweat, toil, and tears their service take Which our quotidian cares so oft supplanted. In the end returned to us with pride Those who served whose own dear heroes died. George Hawkins</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">My G.I. Dad He was the grandson of German immigrants, Conceived out of wedlock by two teenaged lovers. He survived The Great Depression And World War Two too. He then served in Korea and twice in Vietnam. He loved our mother and made five of us kids with her. He retired and went to college on the old G.I. Bill And worked in the courts as a bailiff until he died there one day a few months shy of his &#8220;three score and ten&#8221; like The Bible says. &#8220;Everyone LOVED your Dad&#8221; people told us at his funeral mass. &#8220;I know,&#8221; I said, &#8220;But nobody loved him more than me.&#8221; When the airman knelt before our Mom and said, &#8220;This flag is given to you by a grateful nation,&#8221; I thanked our God again for him, for this good man, my Dad. Mark Hessinger</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"> In 1963 Sargeant White Taught us how to fight He was very good We understood And I have to add He would hurt you bad If you didn&#8217;t get it right Melvin O Perrine</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">In The Army Now I got drafted: screwed, rookie-doed, shafted With a new haircut lunatic-crafted I became a pea in the Army stew Started at the bottom and stayed there, too A world of privates: black, white, any race All alike for once, for a change of pace I learned to fight, sure, but the Army&#8217;s plan Taught me to rely on my fellow man It was, it took me twenty years to see The best thing to ever happen to me. Jack Shakely</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">Welcome Home He sits at his spot at the VFW bar With a &#8220;Thousand Yard Stare&#8221; Working on his fourth beer and third marriage You&#8217;ve seen him &#8220;Vietnam Vet&#8221; cap covering his bald spot Grey beard, a wisp of a ponytail I never served I had a student deferment and a high enough draft number He had neither so he went A proud Marine A young man who saw things And did things And experienced things That a young man should never see, do or experience He came of age in the jungles and swamps of Vietnam Fighting a war with &#8220;Rules of engagement&#8221; When he came home he was mocked and spit on His buddies are dying one by one from Agent Orange Remember that before you say &#8220;Thank you for your service&#8221; Say, &#8220;Welcome home!&#8221; Bill Stein</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">I have served, others have not some men were lucky, many were shot No one&#8217;s asking for a lot, yet veterans are thinking what is what? Bless them all who heeded the call But one did not, you know his name the ultimate in presidential shame Says he, not a problem I claim there&#8217;s always someone else to blame Dennis Winsten</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">Taps in Boca Raton You served; I didn&#8217;t &#9;when it could have been my turn, I chose the path of being against; &#9;we had our own little war about that At my then age, you were off fighting fascism &#9;first in Dalhart, Texas, finally at Fort Meade, Maryland, 4-F when you tried to get in on the day after Pearl, &#9;Uncle Sam waited till you couldn&#8217;t get a refund on tuition to decide you were indispensable He shipped you to the newly formed Army Air Corps, who thought that you could best help them defeat Hitler &#9;&#9;by keeping their books The planes for the Doolittle Raid were tested right in front of you, &#9;although you didn&#8217;t know it When one more master sergeant was needed from your outfit, &#9;they picked the guy on your left instead of you; he was killed the second day of the Battle of the Bulge That haunted you After you and I, and the rest of the country, soldiered through such times I am standing at attention; a warm Florida breeze is being soft and kind My stepmother, &#9;whose hands fit into yours like a puzzle, is silent in the front row She is waiting, waiting &#9;for the carefully folded flag And I am proud Pierce Koslosky, Jr.</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">Take Pause Every November the sky turns gray And our attention rightly turns To those who bravely entered the fray Some, never more to return With hands over hearts, we uplift our eyes And offer our respect and thanksgiving For those men and women who paid the price To protect, in peace, those of us living Please, take a moment each November Pause, and reverently, remember. Joseph Martin</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;">My pop and his brothers were veterans, just Midwestern boys sent to battle. Though proud of their status as soldiers, of their wartime events none did prattle. Not dad nor my uncles faced hand-to-hand conflicts, but overseas soldiering took mental gymnastics. No November parades did they march in. No mothballed old uniforms to squeeze in. The old barracks photos in albums stay tucked in. They were young men who served, from duty did not swerve. Oldest to babe did their duty. Wish I&#8217;d questioned them more, asked for stories galore. But today I just whisper &#8220;thank you.&#8221; Judy Davis</pre><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin-bottom: 0;"> </pre></div></div><div class="container-border" style="margin: 32px 0 0;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;border-top: 1px solid #d4cdbd;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"></div><div class="typography" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="postscript" 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100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTIxMTEwMzExLjMuMWE0YmIxNTMwYjZlNTdmNkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3OTUxOTgxMiwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM3MjM1MjcsImV4cCI6MTc2NjMxNTUyNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.y-mahELIvVezhyCpcPJA701ENse9Nk6v5Qk3EHsYkZM" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 11.21.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGb24tdGhlLXJvYWQtaW4tb2xkLW1vbnRyb3NlIiwicCI6MTc5NTE5ODEyLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjM3MjM1MjYsImV4cCI6MjA3OTI5OTUyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.xtCdcOk-QPp7hM9a7T0F9kv4oXxq3JkYKkfACwIMdxs?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179519812&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5NTE5ODEyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM3MjM1MjYsImV4cCI6MTc2NjMxNTUyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.YIH_-6TzP-zpEo99SYpM4wLdOcoybF_B74IACml_v1o" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">On the road in Old Montrose</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 11.21.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-21T11:09:38.451Z">Nov 21</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was brought up to make myself useful and for a few years I did that with an early morning radio show, waking people up with jazzy jug band tunes and limericks and Ole and Lena jokes and now, at 83, I&#8217;ve become an advance scout, assuring the young that old age has many benefits &#8212; there&#8217;s no need to be cool anymore, in fact it&#8217;s well beyond reach, I don&#8217;t know who is famous anymore or why, so I just enjoy life day by day and spend as much time as possible with people who make me happy.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="439" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/d9c79015-60d7-474d-93d4-06a9e0bf6533?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HjL1!,w_439,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9ed0eb58-5eb3-453e-90cb-ef6d19fab78a_683x512.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Personal identity becomes a closed book. You know that you know who you are. So you just work with it and don&#8217;t think about morphing into a genius or a giant insect or a prophet of doom.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Gender fluidity doesn&#8217;t affect people my age. Hydration is important and sometimes urination may be a problem, but I&#8217;m a guy. I know this. I&#8217;m not a football fan, never was devoted to power tools, never owned a gun, never got in a drunken argument with my best friend and killed him. Eugene Onegin did but he was Russian. I&#8217;m Minnesotan. We don&#8217;t do that type of thing. I belch and pass gas, I snore, I pick my teeth with a thumbnail, and I can bellow and it&#8217;s not an ironic bellow, it&#8217;s a heartfelt Beowulf bellow. I don&#8217;t do profanity well due to my evangelical upbringing and the big famous forceful obscenity I never use because it sounded fraudulent, effete, effeminate, the four times I tried to use it. But I enjoy cheeseburgers and the blues and I am moved when I stand in a crowd and we sing &#8220;My country &#8217;tis of thee&#8221; or &#8220;It Is Well With My Soul.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I believe my guyness is recognized by other guys as we stand around together not talking about our feelings and drinking fluids of our choice, which used to be beer or bourbon but one day I noticed other guys drinking sparkling water and I made no comment lest it lead to the subject of masculinity, which is behind a closed door with yellow stripes marked &#8220;Hazardous.&#8221; But I pondered this remarkable fact and one day a miserable hangover led me to put away the booze and the light dawned: my brain felt youthful and agile and I got off the sauce.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/3412dc0a-1fa7-48a5-96aa-0f83e7571bd6?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ab29878a-ec0c-44e6-b435-006b9e0162cd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:213388,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179519812?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fab29878a-ec0c-44e6-b435-006b9e0162cd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x_vZ!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fab29878a-ec0c-44e6-b435-006b9e0162cd_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Women have no equivalent for &#8220;guy&#8221; &#8212; &#8220;girl&#8221; got xed out as an insult, and &#8220;babe&#8221; and &#8220;broad&#8221; and &#8220;dame&#8221; and &#8220;gal&#8221; don&#8217;t pass muster. I&#8217;m sorry but women are locked into womanhood unless they prefer to be a tramp or a dumb blonde: there&#8217;s not much middle ground. The Prominent Woman syndrome requires queenliness and that&#8217;s why Hillary and Kamala lost, they were too pure and high-minded, and that&#8217;s why I think a woman should run for president in 2028 who is a chain-smoker and can use bad language freely. It&#8217;ll make her more human.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My mother was in favor of feminism for her daughters but she enjoyed letting men be solemn and self-important while she loved her sisters and neighbor ladies and I remember them laughing a lot when men weren&#8217;t around whereas my uncles hardly ever laughed, being evangelical and responsible for upholding the Eternal Verities every waking moment. They were men. Guys are not under that obligation.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>These are wild times. Journalism has come to accept that men use public office to enrich themselves hugely, same as Saudi princes do. Grandiosity is accepted in D.C. and the use of federal agencies as a personal fiefdom. And that&#8217;s why guys like me like to skip reading the news and simply live our guy lives, enjoy our friends and family, delve into the vast riches of American poetry and pop song, hike around great architecture. As I write this, I&#8217;m in Colorado, in high ranch country, walking down some classic Main Streets, striking up conversations with amiable strangers. What a great country. The MAGGOT people have no sense of history. They ought to set aside their conspiracies and read up on World War II and the technological miracles of the 20</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> century.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="478" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/695bf613-6b2f-4775-9c5a-5ec7eb0ce80e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e535ce14-e577-405e-9170-22fe88f0ebfb_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:478,&quot;bytes&quot;:129619,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179519812?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe535ce14-e577-405e-9170-22fe88f0ebfb_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="478" height="318.22651933701655" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!roCW!,w_478,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe535ce14-e577-405e-9170-22fe88f0ebfb_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am out for a good time and it&#8217;s up to people half my age to get the government back on track. I&#8217;m in the town of Montrose now and I love the friendliness of people. The waitress in Ray&#8217;s Caf&#233;. I told her the joke about the old man who sat down in the caf&#233; next to the beautiful woman and said, &#8220;Do I come in here often?&#8221; and she laughed.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179519812&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5NTE5ODEyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjM3MjM1MjYsImV4cCI6MTc2NjMxNTUyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.YIH_-6TzP-zpEo99SYpM4wLdOcoybF_B74IACml_v1o&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Garrison Keillor shares a gentle, funny and heartfelt look at his Minnesota life in </span><em>That Time of Year</em><span>.</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: 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{ display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTI2MTEwMzAxLjMuYTM5MjRjMTk4ZWE1YjZiNUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3OTc2Mzk3MCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQxNTU0NDMsImV4cCI6MTc2Njc0NzQ0MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.Z5praakf-tc5Sml4RQOIpF659IXFuPCCCJuuQx0Rx5U" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 11.23.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=179763970&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTc5NzYzOTcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQxNTU0NDIsImV4cCI6MTc2Njc0NzQ0MiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Sl4SXHGsRNDqkasjP36yWM7rTPVmYAm13WYGXCxQqlw" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">On the road looking for history</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 11.23.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-26T11:06:11.928Z">Nov 26</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!apV6!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F69fd506b-7630-45c7-aee4-631438f032a6_1100x220.webp" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><div class="subscribe-widget is-signed-up" data-component-name="SubscribeWidget" style="margin: 0 0 1em;direction: ltr;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset button-wrapper" style="text-decoration: unset;list-style: none;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button subscribe-btn primary" href="https://substack.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.9dpFoVyNkeaWBvGJLKEx22Hi6W2BvrpCCinIyT93tQE?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=179763970" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I paid a visit to the magnificent state of Colorado last week to commune with the spirit of my great-great-grandfather David Powell who spent some time there in the mid-19</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th </sup><span>century. He was a Pennsylvania farmer who married his sweetheart Martha Ann Cox and dreamed of getting off the farm and seeing the West, but they had triplets and then more babies, one after another.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="452" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/1a1b51ce-ad9a-4b6a-b376-4f29df6f6ca5?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/85685628-cf03-4adc-b54f-2bfb14ed4541_708x493.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:493,&quot;width&quot;:708,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:452,&quot;bytes&quot;:242922,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179763970?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85685628-cf03-4adc-b54f-2bfb14ed4541_708x493.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="452" height="314.7401129943503" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZR1e!,w_452,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85685628-cf03-4adc-b54f-2bfb14ed4541_708x493.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">His erotic enthusiasm was defeating his spirit of adventure until, in a fit of resolution, he packed the family in a wagon with a milk cow tied to the rear and in a series of hops, to Michigan, then Illinois, Iowa, made it to Missouri where Martha Ann informed him that she was done traveling. She would not take small children into Indian territory. And so he kissed her goodbye and headed for Colorado with a wagon and team. I rode up the highway in the twisting Colorado River canyon under the monumental snow-capped peaks and could imagine how awestruck a farmer must&#8217;ve been at so much grandeur. He made it to Fort Collins and found no gold there and then got to Denver where all the available land had been claimed so he gave up on the idea of getting rich and went into politics instead. Back then it was not easy to do both at the same time.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">He was elected to the territorial legislature and helped write the state constitution and then got a letter from Martha Ann saying that she missed him terribly so he hauled himself back to her and nine months and ten minutes later she gave birth to a ninth child.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I heard about David when I was a little kid and my aunt Ruth and great-uncle Llewellyn Powell came to our house on many Saturday evenings and told stories about family history, in which David was prominent. Uncle Lew admired his bold spirit and Ruth did too though she couldn&#8217;t forgive him for leaving Martha Ann with all those kids for four years. They argued this point back and forth and I lay very still on the floor by Lew&#8217;s shoes, not moving lest I be noticed and sent up to bed.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">David couldn&#8217;t stop. He headed for Oklahoma Indian Territory in the land rush and Martha Ann went with him. His children, however, rebelled against his restlessness by putting down roots wherever in the long journey they reached adulthood, and sitting in Oklahoma in 1890, he wrote them a long letter, mostly about crops, which were good, corn and timothy hay, and then the sad lines: &#8220;Well, we would like to see you all once more in this world, but it is hard to tell. It is not likely that we shall all meet again.&#8221; He wished he could see his twin granddaughters who were ten years old &#8212; &#8220;Send them to me in a letter,&#8221; he said.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="469" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/8b4ac89b-db4c-465c-9eae-98b9a5332f47?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/61eb246b-6637-43c1-9ffd-37c799be8c3f_723x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:723,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:469,&quot;bytes&quot;:276368,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179763970?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F61eb246b-6637-43c1-9ffd-37c799be8c3f_723x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="469" height="313.3153526970954" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vmNc!,w_469,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F61eb246b-6637-43c1-9ffd-37c799be8c3f_723x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">They were Dora and Della Powell, and Dora became my grandmother. I was sent off to spend a month on her farm when I was five and the farm was not a prosperous one so it was something of a museum, kerosene lamps, woodstove, hand pump on the porch, outhouse, chickens running around the yard, two plow horses Prince and Ned, and a pump organ in the parlor.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My dad was one who stayed put, built a house in 1947 and died in it in 2001, stayed close to his family. I was restless and took to life on the road and became a stranger to most of my relatives. I have regrets about that. But I have a sweet memory of my little girl, age three, visiting my dad as he lay in bed, nearing the end. She stood at the foot of the bed and he moved his foot under the blanket. She grabbed at his big toe and he moved it away. They played this little game for a few minutes and then she caught him and laughed. She grew up to become a humorous woman and I see his playfulness in her.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The Keillors used to gather for Thanksgiving but Aunt Eleanor &#8212; who managed the feast &#8212; died and it ended. There were too many of us. My cousins are grandparents now. But I did a show in Fort Collins, told stories, got them to sing a hymn Grandma loved, &#8220;It Is Well With My Soul,&#8221; which, sung by a thousand people, is magnificent, and in the dark I imagined we were all related and I felt very thankful.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/614f819e-6b88-4142-a193-3531ba6cdd45?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Make your first plans for the New Year by putting a live Garrison Keillor show on your calendar.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: 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src="https://email.mg-d0.substack.com/o/eJwskEmOwyAQRU8Tdm1RDMYsOItVhrIbBUPEkJZv38qwfV96evoeOx2lXu5RWmfBzRJ3HRg5MLMCvRhlGZ0Y03pQpoqdwor9u2qlpLHAfp01GiyCoGCkB8vVsiul5czDzq3egUUnuNAAYgbgksMkJ5RWKA92IdTbvOmb4ufxE_jUxtY6-vvky8liW_dK7wTX6yD2Cl1xhEjZk6Mn1avkL47BgbFmltbwD-nXg1ymv5aod6rsMbbVl_McOfZrpYxbovAVjy1Fjz2W_BIJK7jRrLra2k1xX3LFUOnKJYX2TmtjC-XEmN2BtcZW8p1iSqWy_rlzNKovldELWKlm9nTiPwAA__8qTHqM"></body></html>cee6d00d-cad8-11f0-b7ad-0a39ee06db20Wed, 26 Nov 2025 10:01:39 GMT2025-11-28 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>Catch a Bargain &#8212; Free shipping on purchase over $30</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> 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a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media 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.tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup 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{ display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta 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100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTI4MTMwMDUwLjMuYjEzMDZhYzYyOWJhMjQ0YkBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3OTI3OTUxNSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoib25seV9mcmVlIiwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJjIjoicG9zdCIsImYiOnRydWUsInBvc2l0aW9uIjoidG9wIiwiaWF0IjoxNzY0MzM0OTA1LCJleHAiOjE3NjY5MjY5MDUsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoiZW8ifQ.g8hrOCkzuQXDhjSeNuyLbqo_lOioJIYobgcwtUY3ER4" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px 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style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC 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style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 9999px;text-transform: uppercase;font-size: 12px;line-height: 1;padding: 9px 0;text-decoration: none;color: rgb(119,119,119);min-width: 38px;box-sizing: border-box;width: 38px"><img class="icon" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_L14!,w_36,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FLucideShare2%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D36%26fill%3Dnone%26stroke%3D%2523808080%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="18" height="18" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 18px" alt=""></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td width="8" style="min-width: 8px"></td><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a 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href="https://open.substack.com/pub/garrisonkeillor/p/catch-a-bargain-free-shipping-on?utm_source=email&redirect=app-store&utm_campaign=email-read-in-app" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 9999px;text-transform: uppercase;font-size: 12px;line-height: 12px;padding: 9px 14px;text-decoration: none;color: rgb(119,119,119);"><div class="email-button-spacer" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;display: inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 0;min-height: 18px;"></div><span class="email-button-text" style="vertical-align: middle;margin-right: 4px">READ IN APP</span><img class="icon text-icon" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ET-_!,w_36,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FLucideArrowUpRight%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D36%26fill%3Dnone%26stroke%3D%2523808080%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="18" height="18" style="min-width: 18px;min-height: 18px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;margin-right: 0;margin-left: 0;max-width: 18px" alt=""></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table></div></div><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="body markup" dir="auto" style="text-align: initial;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;width: 100%;word-break: break-word;margin-bottom: 16px;font-family: 'SF Pro Display', -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Inter', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;"><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-top: 0;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="140" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/cbbe2682-c76c-4da5-ae12-bd1ad0678f67?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;margin-top: 0;margin-bottom: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c318baf1-8a0e-4987-a438-d1889b5d9f4f_140x90.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:90,&quot;width&quot;:140,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:140,&quot;bytes&quot;:16305,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179279515?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc318baf1-8a0e-4987-a438-d1889b5d9f4f_140x90.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="140" height="90" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Q7rg!,w_140,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc318baf1-8a0e-4987-a438-d1889b5d9f4f_140x90.png" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><h3 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.375em;">Free shipping between November 28 and December 1 on purchases OVER $30</h3><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/43ab8045-5a30-4ff4-90e9-3ff00e712128?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">A Prairie Home Companion 50th Anniversary</a></em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/43ab8045-5a30-4ff4-90e9-3ff00e712128?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;"> CD set </a><span> </span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/363e0c6b-c178-4786-a753-544cbccf6282?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">A Prairie Home Christmas</a></em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/363e0c6b-c178-4786-a753-544cbccf6282?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;"> CD set</a><span> </span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/1dfc5976-e064-4410-bcc6-58795f9c721c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">From the Archives</a></em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/1dfc5976-e064-4410-bcc6-58795f9c721c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;"> Box set (1980 &#8211; 1984)</a><span> </span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><a 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href="https://substack.com/redirect/47012de5-d0da-4341-a10a-9dbe25eab133?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">Cheerfulness</a></em><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/47012de5-d0da-4341-a10a-9dbe25eab133?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;"> Softcover Book</a><span> </span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/73b168a8-266d-4e49-aa16-4712706a3087?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">Lake Wobegon Crest Hat</a><span> </span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><a 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26px;font-size: 16px;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/f236ab04-dd70-4f83-9b05-e58f0e057296?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">Christmas Cards</a><span> (20)</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="1456" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2e684a26-7107-4b9c-bff9-15362a3ad034?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/df80ebf6-b682-48ed-ba33-3a6e327c390f_2550x3300.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1884,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:7163974,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/179279515?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdf80ebf6-b682-48ed-ba33-3a6e327c390f_2550x3300.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="711.6758241758242" 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTI4MTMwMDUwLjMuYjEzMDZhYzYyOWJhMjQ0YkBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE3OTI3OTUxNSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoib25seV9mcmVlIiwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJjIjoicG9zdCIsImYiOnRydWUsInBvc2l0aW9uIjoiYm90dG9tIiwiaWF0IjoxNzY0MzM0OTA1LCJleHAiOjE3NjY5MjY5MDUsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoiZW8ifQ.5tXJv74fwAVDBaLtjT2HYbErxVHuOA8EUSczSxPC4tM" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" src="https://email.mg-d1.substack.com/o/eJw8kEuO8yAQBk8Tdr_VvExYcBargY5_FAwRjxn59qPEo9lWt0qlL-CgvbbTvWofLDppPdzDyshxsyopleWa0YEpbzsVajgobjj-rqCVEOy_Iw5ePh4oLBLZ1ZgIRlpOCCJo8J4lJ0BozsWdSwANi1w8l7BiWIX1KJTyNwXH_i_ypU_fB4bnEurBUt8ejT4JbrRJ7F264YyJSiBXSz4_DxdP0XFjhbGa64uM80Wu0HfPNAY19pp-C_U4Zknj3KigzxR_zdPnFHCkWt4iYQUYzZprvd8UhFoaxkZnqTn2T1ufPtYDU3E7tpZ6LU9KOdfGxjXo7NTeKqPv3Eq1si8nfgIAAP__vaZ71g"></body></html>5e8780b0-cc6b-11f0-ac93-0a39ee06db20Fri, 28 Nov 2025 10:03:16 GMT2025-11-29 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>My Thanksgiving visitors</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { 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650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMTI5MTQxMDMyLjMuZTE1MzJjYWNmN2ZhMWI1MUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MDI0NzI1MSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDUsImV4cCI6MTc2NzAxODMwNSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.MjeUIj3g_2aJSNQOf2ZWeS38b-S0m2BoBDncnP2hbak" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 11.28.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGbXktdGhhbmtzZ2l2aW5nLXZpc2l0b3JzIiwicCI6MTgwMjQ3MjUxLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDMsImV4cCI6MjA4MDAwMjMwMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.n2nB2EUIDCI3LsJY5081cmJyP5tEhdLEmI9nchkm_jw?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180247251&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwMjQ3MjUxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDMsImV4cCI6MTc2NzAxODMwMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.j0KPuKdGyjLLM-kBTNZhVXE6L3Tf3x3cMqUWYGR5XqU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">My Thanksgiving visitors</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 11.28.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-11-29T14:23:59.870Z">Nov 29</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" 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Why in heaven&#8217;s name did I walk over to the buffet and help myself to seconds?&#8221; As Socrates said, the secret of happiness lies in learning to enjoy less. So next year I plan to celebrate the day with a bowl of chicken soup and a few saltines.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="467" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2f7fd731-83fa-4b9c-967b-93b051c6ba03?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4a1ed44f-02db-42e2-af82-04489f9759e9_717x487.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:487,&quot;width&quot;:717,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:467,&quot;bytes&quot;:286454,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180247251?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a1ed44f-02db-42e2-af82-04489f9759e9_717x487.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="467" height="317.1952580195258" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SvGa!,w_467,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a1ed44f-02db-42e2-af82-04489f9759e9_717x487.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">In 2026 I intend to eat moderately, resume regular exercise, speak kindly, patch up old hostilities, and clean up the stacks of trash that obscure my desk so that I am now writing this on the kitchen table.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I got a phone call Thursday morning from an old friend who sees the country enduring dreadful damage and it was troubling and also hard to disagree with him. We are an embarrassment for all the world to see, he said, America with its pants down, the world laughs at us. For a nation to elect a corrupt lunatic president does make the Electoral College look like the Electoral Elementary. But then in the middle of this conversation, the door opened, Jenny let out a cry of delight, and in came my grandson Charlie and his girlfriend, Raina, two tall elegant intelligent humorous young people planning to move to New York and make a life here, on their way to dinner downtown, and the day brightened.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I admire their adventurous spirit, leaving Minnesota for the great metropolis with big ambitions. I&#8217;m a Midwesterner still and when I can&#8217;t get to sleep in Manhattan, I slowly recite the street names of Minneapolis to myself, </span><em>Aldrich, Bryant, Colfax, Dupont </em><span>through </span><em>Washburn, Xerxes, York, Zenith. </em><span>And when I get up in the night and stand at the toilet, it&#8217;s the thought of Minnehaha Falls that opens the bladder.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/37ad083a-51d1-4cdb-b07e-9fa1ec8e8225?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/51a8cbbc-d512-4c58-84ba-45a6f628dd9c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:466165,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180247251?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51a8cbbc-d512-4c58-84ba-45a6f628dd9c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8YvF!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F51a8cbbc-d512-4c58-84ba-45a6f628dd9c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am one of the last American writers to have written a full-length novel on an Underwood manual typewriter, and these two young people are comfortable with A.I. and find it useful. I grew up under some ferocious preaching by men who I felt used the Gospels as an instrument of aggression, and these two skipped that.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">If I have any influence on them, I&#8217;d want it to be to love your work, to feel ambitious every day, to climb the hill and see the next valley.</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>We live by humor and grace, Good manners, books, an embrace, Good water, good light, A pencil to write, And a little orange stub to erase.</em><span> </span></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>My parents intended for me to become a carpenter like my dad but I became a good speller, the winner of spelling contests, which led to literary ambitions. I was a very quiet boy, silent even &#8212; &#8220;socially unskilled&#8221; they&#8217;d say now but back then it was considered a sign of unique intelligence. I had the good fortune to attend a country school where such ambitions were considered effeminate so few other boys took that path, which gave me the illusion of being gifted. I wrote a sonnet (</span><em>O spring, how freshly do your grasses green inspire</em><span>) when I was ten. To avoid a life in construction, I worked hard to develop incompetence and was kicked out of Mr. Buehler&#8217;s shop class and sent up to Miss Person&#8217;s speech class so that I wouldn&#8217;t cut off my hand with a power saw and, there in a class of mostly girls, I had the chance to be charming.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My college professors only taught tragedy, which naturally turned me toward comedy and I found S.J. Perelman, who&#8217;d written for the Marx Brothers, and the light went on. Perelman once wrote, &#8220;I guess I&#8217;m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation&#8217;s laws.&#8221; To me, this paragraph was beautiful liberation from the angry preaching and the dismal study of funereal literature.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The literary life had its hazards &#8212; I became a chain-smoker and an ambitious drinker, which seemed to me to be the marks of a serious writer so in my middle years I had to stomp out those two destructive habits, which I did. Cutting out alcohol gave me the gift of a clear head in the morning and some days I wake up at 4 a.m. with an idea in my head and tiptoe into the kitchen and make coffee and sit at the keyboard and feel outrageously lucky. I wish the same for them.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="478" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/7d3fd2fd-effa-45fa-8233-26f335b99117?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c0b03011-c901-4a34-a6e8-e3435bc73e78_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:478,&quot;bytes&quot;:166173,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180247251?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc0b03011-c901-4a34-a6e8-e3435bc73e78_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="478" height="318.8867403314917" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QAgo!,w_478,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc0b03011-c901-4a34-a6e8-e3435bc73e78_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180247251&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwMjQ3MjUxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDMsImV4cCI6MTc2NzAxODMwMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.j0KPuKdGyjLLM-kBTNZhVXE6L3Tf3x3cMqUWYGR5XqU&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180247251&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwMjQ3MjUxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDMsImV4cCI6MTc2NzAxODMwMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.j0KPuKdGyjLLM-kBTNZhVXE6L3Tf3x3cMqUWYGR5XqU" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Return to small-town magic with the autographed hardcover novel </span><em>Boom Town, </em><span>by Garrison Keillor. 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href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9vcGVuLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbS9wdWIvZ2Fycmlzb25rZWlsbG9yL3AvbXktdGhhbmtzZ2l2aW5nLXZpc2l0b3JzP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9c3Vic3RhY2smdXRtX21lZGl1bT1lbWFpbCZ1dG1fY2FtcGFpZ249ZW1haWwtcmVzdGFjay1jb21tZW50JmFjdGlvbj1yZXN0YWNrLWNvbW1lbnQmcj0xOTUya3kmdG9rZW49ZXlKMWMyVnlYMmxrSWpvM05UZ3hPVE0wTml3aWNHOXpkRjlwWkNJNk1UZ3dNalEzTWpVeExDSnBZWFFpT2pFM05qUTBNall6TURNc0ltVjRjQ0k2TVRjMk56QXhPRE13TXl3aWFYTnpJam9pY0hWaUxUSTVNakEzTlNJc0luTjFZaUk2SW5CdmMzUXRjbVZoWTNScGIyNGlmUS5qMEtQdUtkR3lqTExNLWtCVE5aaFZYRTZMM1RmM3gzY01xVVdZR1I1WHFVIiwicCI6MTgwMjQ3MjUxLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ0MjYzMDMsImV4cCI6MjA4MDAwMjMwMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.fUMnR-xo-93MbN8gWU8GYITeQzST7KPZIH95s36X3vA?&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjAzMDIxNzU0LjMuZTgwZTdiNDNjYjEyMGE4NEBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MDU1OTg3MywidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3Mjg0NDcsImV4cCI6MTc2NzMyMDQ0NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.s7oI_rHu8SHB2uRxgVZ7ZI2Ir1RAH_cABF1roCezCv8" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">AXS, the ticketing service, had a glitch last week and sent out numerous cancellation notices to shows that they represent.</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180559873&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNTU5ODczLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3Mjg0NDcsImV4cCI6MTc2NzMyMDQ0NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.l0lWVKOeWD0QzCNH5f3QgDF_zBGgFslG3d56ChySYeQ" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">FITZGERALD CHRISTMAS SHOWS 12/6 &amp; 7</a></h1><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF 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Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;"><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;margin-top: 0;">AXS, the ticketing service, had a glitch last week and sent out numerous cancellation notices to shows that they represent. Our shows were effected.</p><h3 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.375em;">A Prairie Home Christmas at the Fitzgerald on December 6 and December 7 are NOT cancelled. All tickets are intact. </h3><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;margin-bottom: 0;">Looking forward to kicking off the Christmas Season right here in St. Paul.</p></div></div><div class="container-border" style="margin: 32px 0 0;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;border-top: 1px solid #d4cdbd;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"></div><div class="typography" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="postscript" style="margin: 32px 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="body markup" dir="auto" style="text-align: initial;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;width: 100%;word-break: break-word;margin-bottom: 16px;"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin-top: 0;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em>You&#8217;re on the free list 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup 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{ display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta 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100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { 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650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjAzMTEwMTMwLjMuMzRlNGQwMGNjZjg5NTY3YkBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MDU0MTk3MiwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3NTk5MTEsImV4cCI6MTc2NzM1MTkxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.51zoPqzQCmfurZBIk1iOD2qAJtVi-AqsDW-tlwbIqd0" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.02.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGdGhpbmtpbmctYWhlYWQtdG8tY2hyaXN0bWFzIiwicCI6MTgwNTQxOTcyLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3NTk5MTEsImV4cCI6MjA4MDMzNTkxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.LSDbk1hn9LXuejfngoPcwD_TSW8KzUs4m89kW0qV-T4?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180541972&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNTQxOTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3NTk5MTEsImV4cCI6MTc2NzM1MTkxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.9F7VWw9RistmaVtV1j-yV89X25rIMMkF3-yckyoFmnw" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Thinking ahead to Christmas</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.02.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-03T11:02:16.291Z">Dec 3</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180541972&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNTQxOTcyLCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc2NDc1OTkxMSwiZXhwIjoxNzY3MzUxOTExLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ._s60sL2SsVJWRO8duc4-UiAVP8gRsJNAjYiGhSx7zNk&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I went to Macy&#8217;s on 34</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> Street last week, my first visit to a classic old-fashioned department store in many years, and took my daughter along so she could see what it is, like taking her to see a ranch with cowboys or a printing plant with Linotype machines or dirt-track racing or Amish harvesting oats with scythes. The store was bustling, all eleven floors, and what struck me was the friendly alertness of the employees and how smartly they could direct us to what we were looking for. This was two days after the Macy&#8217;s Thanksgiving Day parade down Fifth Avenue and many of them had likely marched in it with the giant balloons and here they were bright and eager, directing us to Men&#8217;s Dress Shirts on five and socks on four and pens on nine.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/ae298e5e-409d-48ee-9bba-eefa749d113c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6384077f-cfa3-464a-80b3-d2f09500abca_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:252566,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180541972?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6384077f-cfa3-464a-80b3-d2f09500abca_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="316.89502762430936" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1cK6!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6384077f-cfa3-464a-80b3-d2f09500abca_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And then there was the thrill of riding on one of the store&#8217;s century-old wooden escalators &#8212; some of the very few still in use in the world.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Downtowns are fading across the country but when you take the A train to 34</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> and hike the underground arcade to Seventh Avenue, you&#8217;re in a river of humanity. You pass a young man playing wild passages on a violin, an open instrument case at his feet, and a man wearing a signboard covered with Bible verses and shouting that Jesus is coming soon when we will answer for our sins and it&#8217;s a perfect location for both of these entrepreneurs. It&#8217;s a good place for an elderly tourist like me to observe the styles of the young and hear interesting slices of conversation, proof that I live in a fascinating tumultuous world of people unlike myself. A relief from narcissism.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">This is the beauty of New York, this plus the architecture, the subways, the museums, the food &#8212; the opportunity to be in a crowd. Any time, day or night, somewhere in the city you find people to brush elbows with.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Church Sunday morning, however, was sparsely attended. The first Sunday of Advent but the pews were half empty, the parishioners having gone to spend Thanksgiving with distant family perhaps, and when the sermon landed, I was glad they weren&#8217;t here to hear it.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/b5366251-f10e-405d-82eb-d3eda79e9b0b?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8f2d20eb-38f4-432d-8929-dd06cd656066_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:266734,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180541972?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f2d20eb-38f4-432d-8929-dd06cd656066_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KLjN!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f2d20eb-38f4-432d-8929-dd06cd656066_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">When women came into the priesthood, they brought a beautiful simple style of preaching, one person speaking to a roomful of others, but some men retain the old ornamental gothic style of dramatic intoning, a performance of righteousness, which in an echoey sanctuary comes out half unintelligible. His message was: when times are hard, don&#8217;t give up. I wanted to get up and leave.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I walked home afterward, a cold rainy day on the Upper West Side, and I missed Minnesota, which was getting snow that day. I wanted to be walking through St. Anthony Park, the Lutheran neighborhood in St. Paul, and feel the good cheer, the Christmas lights strung on the lampposts, the choir at the seminary rehearsing, &#8220;Wake O wake with tidings thrilling, the watchmen all the air are filling, arise, Jerusalem, arise.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The beautiful Christmases of my childhood were created by women who had lost their mother when they were small, saw a sister die of scarlet fever, went through the terrible Depression, the dust storms, endured tragedy, and yet were inspired to make this perfect day, the pine boughs, the carols sung around the piano, the gifts perfectly wrapped, the feast &#8212; my mother and her sisters did this, eight girls in a family of twelve, including the girl who died.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My dad was dubious about Christmas, the expense, the fuss, the commerce, the pop music, which seemed to him a profanation of the sacred, but he yielded to my mother&#8217;s passion to create one perfect day for her children despite the grief and hardship all around.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/dd8baced-057f-4e2c-85c1-f0466cf5dd4c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2a05843f-691e-4487-b843-62a15e3f003c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:327555,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180541972?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2a05843f-691e-4487-b843-62a15e3f003c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Exop!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2a05843f-691e-4487-b843-62a15e3f003c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And now this old man readies himself to set off on the road performing eight Christmas shows with a cast of eight, two hours of songs, sketches, a story, and we&#8217;ll dim the lights and light a candle and hum a note and the crowd will sing &#8220;Silent Night&#8221; and I want it to be perfect, as my mother made it for us &#8212; in a country torn apart by ranting and disenchantment, where all is not calm or bright, nonetheless our culture gives us this one day we can make a work of art, and when you hear a crowd of strangers, not so different from the mob in Macy&#8217;s, sing &#8220;Round yon Virgin Mother and Child, Holy Infant so tender and mild,&#8221; something beautiful is made.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180541972&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNTQxOTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3NTk5MTEsImV4cCI6MTc2NzM1MTkxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.9F7VWw9RistmaVtV1j-yV89X25rIMMkF3-yckyoFmnw&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180541972&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNTQxOTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ3NTk5MTEsImV4cCI6MTc2NzM1MTkxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.9F7VWw9RistmaVtV1j-yV89X25rIMMkF3-yckyoFmnw" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Ring in the holidays with one of Garrison Keillor&#8217;s </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion</em><span> Christmas shows! 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.post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjA1MTEwMjA1LjMuNjg0NmI5NjFkOGNjNzk0NUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MDc1NDA3MCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ5MzI5MzgsImV4cCI6MTc2NzUyNDkzOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.oGIpoGaJ_VQ8UkWIyAJQ0opmEKFizUMxPcM8FO6DlWU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.04.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, 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published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180754070&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNzU0MDcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ5MzI5MzcsImV4cCI6MTc2NzUyNDkzNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Sc9ob-GCigc5qQox4pCgZZdwSSBMfdzDkK0GcELLrpE" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Back home to Minnesota</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.04.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx 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href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-05T11:04:42.611Z">Dec 5</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I flew to Minnesota on Wednesday where it was below zero, but never mind that, I&#8217;m a happy man, I&#8217;m in love, I have work to do, and it felt good to descend down low over the Minnesota River and onto the tarmac of MSP and roll to a stop.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/daad12c5-92ae-4b6f-9395-4d6421c7e29c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8c091fb9-84c1-4f25-b5ff-85df34b6cc1e_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:211759,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180754070?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c091fb9-84c1-4f25-b5ff-85df34b6cc1e_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!AGvY!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c091fb9-84c1-4f25-b5ff-85df34b6cc1e_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was in Minnesota to rehearse a Christmas show. But once again the Great Intruder had seized our attention by setting off another stink bomb, which is hard to ignore. It is Advent, with the beautiful mystery of the child in the stable and the beloved carols and the story we know so well, and then an old man in bright yellow golf pants walks into church with a bucket of dog turds. Where are the ushers?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Once we had presidents who talked like Methodist ministers and now we have a furious cabdriver in rush hour. In less than a week, we get the surrender ultimatum to Ukraine, the evidence of war crimes in the Caribbean, his pardon of a major cocaine king, and his racist slander of Somalis. How will we endure three more years of this man, I ask you.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I had three bags at the airport and when I saw I&#8217;d have to maneuver them onto an escalator, I asked a Somali man with a luggage cart to help me get to a taxi. He grabbed the bags and headed for the elevators and greeted some wheelchair pushers and another luggage handler along the way, and I asked him how many Somalis work at the airport, and he said, &#8220;About a thousand, I think.&#8221; The pushers and handlers and cart drivers are mostly Somali, he said, and also some of the crews that clean the planes. Useful work, particularly for us elderly, but I suppose a multibillionaire president wouldn&#8217;t come in contact with such workers, he having Cabinet secretaries to carry his baggage for him.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I grew up in Minnesota and my parents gave me an easy childhood, since they had come through hard times, Dad on a struggling farm with his elderly father failing, Mother in a family of twelve kids without a mother. They shut politics out of our lives entirely, shut out gossip and judgment of others. There were troubles in both their families but I never knew about them until many many years later. They were expert keepers of secrets. We lived in a small peaceful domestic world, our parents dearly loved each other and we knew it and their love was a roof over our heads. We were six children, the two older responsible ones, the three bright gifted little ones, and me the invisible middle child who grew up absorbed in books and stories and elaborate pretend games with friends conducted on the Mississippi banks and woods and ravines.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/8d96c91f-99fc-49d0-b2bc-1bc0c5208ff9?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d6361ccb-7bb8-47ee-aa12-f4b1e53f9f10_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:340963,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180754070?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6361ccb-7bb8-47ee-aa12-f4b1e53f9f10_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1EhF!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd6361ccb-7bb8-47ee-aa12-f4b1e53f9f10_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I imagined myself a writer when I was twelve or thirteen and of course in my teens I rebelled against my parents&#8217; way of thinking as being narrow-minded and now I see it as an enormous blessing, creating a safe loving domicile with strong walls against anger, anxiety, and dread, and the anticipation of evil.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Something happened when I was thirteen. I turned away from my peers and gravitated toward elders, beloved aunts, kindly teachers. I was drawn to their cheerfulness. I skipped the rivalries with peers and the ambition to be the coolest person in the room, and I lived in my own head. As the Psalmist said, Come unto his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise. For the Lord is gracious; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth from generation to generation. In other words, get over yourself. Lighten up.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/516f7e61-dda9-4c93-8cf1-a3ab6885a0ce?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d548d860-045d-4e78-900b-e14e74e2ecbf_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:123481,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/180754070?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd548d860-045d-4e78-900b-e14e74e2ecbf_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="317.5524861878453" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pWPR!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd548d860-045d-4e78-900b-e14e74e2ecbf_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>And now I&#8217;m an old man with a clear sense of time. Here I am on a cold morning in a hotel in St. Paul with work to do. Seize the day. Enjoy the work. Let John Thune and Marco Rubio and John Roberts deal with the man in yellow pants bringing manure into church. I am living in the small loving world my mother and father made for me. I never heard them curse. Cruelty was not practiced by them. The car with the bumper sticker </span><em>The Best Form of Gun Control Is to Use Both Hands </em><span>is alien to us. The Lord is merciful and so, instead of wrestling three heavy bags onto an escalator, I hailed the Somali man with the cart and it was easy as pie.</span></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=180754070&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgwNzU0MDcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjQ5MzI5MzcsImV4cCI6MTc2NzUyNDkzNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Sc9ob-GCigc5qQox4pCgZZdwSSBMfdzDkK0GcELLrpE&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjEyMTI0ODM2LjMuN2Y3ZTBjZGY2OWUyOGI4MUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MTQyMDUwNCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjU1NDM3NjksImV4cCI6MTc2ODEzNTc2OSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.aTa3nsB5DeFxIn7sU0vzAt2Xk7Q3RnXj0Pfpxlac4g4" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.12.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, 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published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181420504&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNDIwNTA0LCJpYXQiOjE3NjU1NDM3NjksImV4cCI6MTc2ODEzNTc2OSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.jCZ1kX4vCQ8J9XGQ04-hcbeP0C75Zx-f6iJkAc33z0o" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">An afternoon at the library</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.12.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-12T12:48:41.957Z">Dec 12</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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href="https://substack.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.NcAFzdS7bC8teJxig9IGunGPyQspG6RNiYBX3dlCNyU?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=181420504" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>There are so many advantages to being an old man that I wonder why I put it off so long and one is that the Proust Reading Group has stopped inviting me to join and another is the number of dreadful stories in the news that for a man my age come under the heading &#8220;Not My Problem&#8221; such as the shortage of goods due to shipping backlogs, freighters lined up for miles waiting to unload in ports, people unable to find what they need. I have the opposite problem: too much stuff, need a ship to come up the Hudson River to 96</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> Street and haul it away. We have twenty fancy dinner plates though we live in a two-bedroom apartment and the days of grand dinner parties are far in the past. She and I now form a majority. Four is a family, six is a crowd.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c8a58e0e-5ce5-4822-8994-934ea584b909?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a27f3b9c-5724-4696-be71-e76f4afa7f58_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:473894,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181420504?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa27f3b9c-5724-4696-be71-e76f4afa7f58_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Qe7R!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa27f3b9c-5724-4696-be71-e76f4afa7f58_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I chose the right parents, evangelicals, so, yes, I am haunted by guilt and regret, but on the other hand, there was no fetal alcohol syndrome and for a kid who aims to be a writer, the King James is excellent tutelage, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Isaiah, beat out Disney characters and crime novels. My grandfathers died young, at 73, of hard work and so I avoided hard work and already I&#8217;m a decade ahead of them. This is a lucky upbringing. Not privilege, luck. Privilege is having a car and driver waiting for you and luck is when you go down the steps to the subway station and the train comes just as you go through the turnstile and you walk across the platform just as the train stops and the doors open, which makes your entire day up to that point feel perfectly timed. I take the train to the public library reference room and the long tables with the green study lamps and I plug in my laptop and sit among ambitious young men and women, most of them Asian, and my ambition is gone gone gone, praise the Lord, I&#8217;m free of it, I&#8217;m here for pleasure.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Coming from the Midwest, you learn not to stand out in the crowd but blend in, harmonize, so I gave academia a wide berth, that beehive of brilliance, where nerds don&#8217;t feel self-conscious: there&#8217;s always someone nerdier nearby, and if you are the World&#8217;s Leading Authority on the mating habits of the jabberwock beetle of the Lesser Jujube Archipelago, you can take comfort in knowing that the pinch-faced man next to you is the W.L.A. on 17</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span>-century Huguenot hymnody or a niche of quantum physics that is understood by nobody but him.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Growing up in the Lutheran culture of Minnesota, you learn to be wary of brilliance, having seen geniuses in the throes of deep thought step into potholes and disappear, like the great economist who put Harvard&#8217;s endowment into the stock market and almost dropped it into bankruptcy, like taking your child&#8217;s lunch money and putting it on Valiant Fancy to win in the 5</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> at Churchill Downs. No, Lutheran culture teaches you to be useful, fit in, do your part, harmonize. We go to a party and we&#8217;re not good at the whooping and guffawing but we stay late and help clean up.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="478" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/ef69e3c6-1bd1-4215-87b4-e148ec2224dc?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1ed9c0dd-7480-43f8-9e60-6f4efa0e2411_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:478,&quot;bytes&quot;:237072,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181420504?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ed9c0dd-7480-43f8-9e60-6f4efa0e2411_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="478" height="318.8867403314917" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FPZW!,w_478,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ed9c0dd-7480-43f8-9e60-6f4efa0e2411_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He said, &#8220;To be great is to be misunderstood,&#8221; a mouthful of bubble gum that gives arrogant people grounds to imagine their unpopularity is proof of their acumen.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Dare to live the life you have imagined&#8221;? This is the wisdom that encouraged people who could&#8217;ve been excellent janitors to become bold narcissists who created volumes of unreadable poetry and bales of photography similar to bales of other people&#8217;s photography, seascapes, sunrises, the sensitivity of shadows.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>And Emerson&#8217;s disciple, Henry Thoreau, and his Bible of bachelorhood, </span><em>Walden. </em><span>He wrote that he had learned that if you endeavor to live the life you have imagined, you will meet with an unexpected success. Yes, living alone is an achievable goal, but a good woman could&#8217;ve straightened him out. At least gotten him to do something about his hair. I am happy sitting among children of Asian immigrants working hard to fulfil their parents&#8217; dreams, and here I am enjoying the freedom to not read these encyclopedias, to poke Ralph and Henry in the snoot, say a good word for Lutherans. To be funny means being understood very well; it just doesn&#8217;t work without it.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="522" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/ac345cd4-702b-4604-a08d-9062e393a9f7?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/82b07e63-89ed-4874-a5cd-bdc887391f0d_894x391.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:391,&quot;width&quot;:894,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:522,&quot;bytes&quot;:492394,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181420504?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F82b07e63-89ed-4874-a5cd-bdc887391f0d_894x391.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="522" height="228.3020134228188" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!yXYI!,w_522,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F82b07e63-89ed-4874-a5cd-bdc887391f0d_894x391.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181420504&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNDIwNTA0LCJpYXQiOjE3NjU1NDM3NjksImV4cCI6MTc2ODEzNTc2OSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.jCZ1kX4vCQ8J9XGQ04-hcbeP0C75Zx-f6iJkAc33z0o&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181420504&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNDIwNTA0LCJpYXQiOjE3NjU1NDM3NjksImV4cCI6MTc2ODEzNTc2OSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.jCZ1kX4vCQ8J9XGQ04-hcbeP0C75Zx-f6iJkAc33z0o" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Make a New Year&#8217;s resolution to come see one of Garrison Keillor&#8217;s wonderful live shows. 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.post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjE3MTEwMjA5LjMuYTg4M2JkZGJjZTg3NTk1M0BtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTgxNjkxMTcyLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2NTk2OTUyNSwiZXhwIjoxNzY4NTYxNTI1LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.EvCupb1GHdxfVJgrzWQ1OolVsZVHQ5xQV2mXBNOXHQM" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.15.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGcmV0dXJuaW5nLXRvLWEtZ2VuZXJvdXMtcGxhY2UiLCJwIjoxODE2OTExNzIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc2NTk2OTUyNCwiZXhwIjoyMDgxNTQ1NTI0LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.YhjgzpgMxEVOmqk8I2gZkbdVSMY2qq4TEB69p18hXr0?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181691172&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNjkxMTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjU5Njk1MjQsImV4cCI6MTc2ODU2MTUyNCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.KAfM1nEiEFTfXt7bUtcEV32PBzLckN6q3wYuZA4328c" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Returning to a generous place</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.15.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-17T11:04:04.568Z">Dec 17</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I&#8217;m an old man and the ease of email and texting is a marvel to me, more so than to you kids, until I notice the time I spend daily erasing emails and texts from various noble causes and Nancy Pelosi and AOC and other Democrats asking for money, which I don&#8217;t even read, the first few words, &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry to bother you&#8221; or &#8220;This is important&#8221; or &#8220;Please don&#8217;t erase,&#8221; tell me what&#8217;s up, so I click on the trashcan icon and they&#8217;re gone. But it takes a lot of time. I probably could&#8217;ve finished reading </span><em>Moby-Dick </em><span>in the time it takes, if I wanted to, which I don&#8217;t. But anyway.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/dea0516b-ea64-489f-9453-00f2d95e8615?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c83d5fc4-130c-420a-a3d5-af37c34e3326_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:205113,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181691172?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc83d5fc4-130c-420a-a3d5-af37c34e3326_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XOG0!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc83d5fc4-130c-420a-a3d5-af37c34e3326_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I marvel at using my cellphone as a video camera. I&#8217;m on tour in December and I record Heather Masse and me singing, &#8220;I&#8217;m lonesome for my precious children, they live so far away,&#8221; in sweet duet and send it to my daughter along with me telling the joke, &#8220;How do chickens pick their noses? With chicken fingers.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My phone has a multitude of apps that remain unused, marvelous though they may be, but I doubt there&#8217;s one that would fix my problem of purposelessness, that sudden sensation when walking into a room and wondering, &#8220;What did I come in here for? It was clear in my mind a moment ago.&#8221; So I retrace my steps back to my location of certitude and it doesn&#8217;t reappear. So rather than dither, I go on to something else. I write a limerick:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Melville&#8217;s great book Moby-Dick Is rather dark and it&#8217;s thick And the trip to the ship Is a slow faucet drip So I think I will wait for the flick.</em></pre><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="482" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/1302dbf9-c239-4cb5-99b6-71be80a11b3f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6558405a-32ea-4a7c-8a01-221c0a98df68_728x479.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:479,&quot;width&quot;:728,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:482,&quot;bytes&quot;:131399,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181691172?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6558405a-32ea-4a7c-8a01-221c0a98df68_728x479.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="482" height="317.1401098901099" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SjmE!,w_482,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6558405a-32ea-4a7c-8a01-221c0a98df68_728x479.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>The tour began in Minnesota, went to Texas, then came to Nashville and we did a show at the Ryman Auditorium and it came back to me, the great good fortune that landed on me there in 1973. I was writing for </span><em>The New Yorker </em><span>back then and somehow I wangled an assignment to go to Nashville and write about </span><em>The Grand Ole Opry </em><span>and down to Nashville I rode on the train. I knew nobody in town. I went to the Ryman and bought a ticket to the Saturday night show and asked if I could interview Mr. Roy Acuff the emcee and word got to Sarah Ophelia Colley, a friend of Roy&#8217;s and also a reader of </span><em>The New Yorker, </em><span>that I was there and then I was in like Flynn.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Sarah was a regular on the show as Cousin Minnie Pearl, in a frilly dress and a hat with a price tag hanging from the brim, who came out and cried, &#8220;Howwww-dee! I&#8217;m just so proud to be here!&#8221; and told about her hometown of Grinder&#8217;s Switch and her Uncle Nabob and Aunt Ambrosia, and she showed me around backstage and introduced me to Chet Atkins and other people, so I got vouched for and went home and wrote the story.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>After it appeared, my editor Bill Whitworth told me I should start a radio show like the </span><em>Opry</em><span> and I went back to Minnesota and did that and </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion </em><span>ran for almost fifty years, same as Minnie&#8217;s run at the </span><em>Opry, </em><span>and changed my life. I started my Lake Wobegon after her Grinder&#8217;s Switch and worked it into a weekly monologue. The show went national and I got to do a great many things I couldn&#8217;t at </span><em>The New Yorker </em><span>such as play the private eye Guy Noir and sing duets with wonderful women and hang out with musicians, a great class of people, and even marry one, Jenny, and have a daughter with her who calls me Show Boy.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="462" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/9b1fe5e4-959d-48b4-a6f0-4f7c7279770f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/744c999e-0db2-4a01-be7d-bf2327340783_594x404.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:404,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:462,&quot;bytes&quot;:101214,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/181691172?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F744c999e-0db2-4a01-be7d-bf2327340783_594x404.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="462" height="314.22222222222223" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4uK_!,w_462,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F744c999e-0db2-4a01-be7d-bf2327340783_594x404.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I try not to look back because I&#8217;ve done a number of phenomenally numbskull things that still can make me grind my teeth at night, misbegotten romances, some real estate acquisitions that defy common sense and a couple deaccessions that now strike me as demented. I&#8217;ve toted up dumber things over the years than anyone else who finished the eighth grade and I got a B.A. and did two years of grad school. But the one lucky streak that started in 1973 changed the game. It&#8217;s like when you go down the stairs into the subway station and through the turnstiles just as the train pulls in and the doors open and you walk aboard as if it&#8217;s your private express. You can&#8217;t argue with luck, you just ride along.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181691172&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNjkxMTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjU5Njk1MjQsImV4cCI6MTc2ODU2MTUyNCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.KAfM1nEiEFTfXt7bUtcEV32PBzLckN6q3wYuZA4328c&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=181691172&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgxNjkxMTcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjU5Njk1MjQsImV4cCI6MTc2ODU2MTUyNCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.KAfM1nEiEFTfXt7bUtcEV32PBzLckN6q3wYuZA4328c" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Cozy up in this hunter green, 100% cotton </span><em>Writer&#8217;s Almanac</em><span> T-shirt featuring the iconic logo in Garrison Keillor&#8217;s own hand. Perfect for winter layering!</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/fd19509b-9ba5-43d1-9ec1-d371ef1f493b?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> to purchase today.</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-bottom: 0;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 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0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div></div></div><div class="container-border" style="margin: 32px 0 0;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;border-top: 1px solid #d4cdbd;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"></div><div class="typography" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="postscript" style="margin: 32px 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="body markup" dir="auto" style="text-align: initial;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;width: 100%;word-break: break-word;margin-bottom: 16px;"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin-top: 0;"><hr style="margin: 32px 0;padding: 0;height: 1px;background: #d4cdbd;border: none;"></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em>You&#8217;re on the free list for&nbsp;</em><a 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div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjE5MTEwMjM4LjMuOWRhOTRmYThkYjNmOTE3ZkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTgyMDQ5ODIxLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2NjE0Mjc0NCwiZXhwIjoxNzY4NzM0NzQ0LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.7TN9Xr86yBE7s4rRpjlitoEcsUn0DFEd5mLJSAYNyLo" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.18.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; 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class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=182049821&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgyMDQ5ODIxLCJpYXQiOjE3NjYxNDI3NDMsImV4cCI6MTc2ODczNDc0MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.feNBIVfTrlHTqKYT9xNkrY8Mcl-92EwwGq5Xu7mUEB4" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The simple gifts of Christmas</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.18.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-19T11:08:26.867Z">Dec 19</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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href="https://substack.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.sJnSExhUhbogPQHVy4iLzWAbAbEgfQTN_9LTGIvS2-g?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=182049821" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I have managed to keep my Trump Derangement Syndrome under control recently by singing Christmas carols with audiences at the Christmas shows I&#8217;ve done, shows that are open to the general public, not only the deranged, and when they sing, a cappella, </span><em>Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where He lay, the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay, </em><span>everything else disappears except the wonderment at how good a couple thousand people sound while singing a carol they&#8217;ve known since childhood.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/22e78843-c790-4264-af42-d5d4773830de?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6c16bc72-2d54-4261-bfe8-42a69b77ea2e_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:418201,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/182049821?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6c16bc72-2d54-4261-bfe8-42a69b77ea2e_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ivsH!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6c16bc72-2d54-4261-bfe8-42a69b77ea2e_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>A great many famous artists have tortured that carol, trying to make it a vehicle for their particular virtuosity and view of life, but when I hum a note and sing the words &#8220;Away in a&#8221; and am silent, the American people pick it up and make it the exquisite tender harmonious lullaby it is and they will also do </span><em>The cattle are lowing, the Baby awakes, but little Lord Jesus no crying He makes. </em><span>I&#8217;ve heard this in dozens of cities and it&#8217;s always the same ethereal sound. Dim light helps, pitch-blackness even better. Maybe it&#8217;s somewhat stronger in the South and Midwest or in small towns. A Utah crowd with a strong Mormon element, the beauty will bring you to tears. In New York, the audience hesitates, they need to put their fine sense of irony away, but eventually they go along with it.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The same is true of &#8220;Silent Night&#8221; and &#8220;O Little Town of Bethlehem&#8221; and maybe &#8220;Lo, how a rose e&#8217;er blooming&#8221; &#8212; something exquisite is created mystically out of anonymity that captures the beauty of the season. I am a Christian but I know the beauty is not due to religious conviction. Atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, nudists, octogenarian Unitarians, can sing it just as tenderly and sweetly. It is a work of art that comes out of a roomful of ordinary strangers in dim light.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Christmas is a gift to America, a festival of kindness, and I sense this on the streets of New York and in the subway, I feel it in airports, the TSA agents take on a gentler tone, people are keenly aware of the elderly, the halt and lame, small children, the lost and confused, and if this strikes you as na&#239;ve, I apologize but it&#8217;s how this old man sees things. Dark headlines leap out at us and we recoil but we cannot despair; it&#8217;s an expensive luxury that puts us at odds with the world.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="548" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/3c83786f-c4ca-4000-936f-c83f505ab0d9?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d7c16b3c-e48e-4004-b97e-363e7c0a0d80_814x429.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:429,&quot;width&quot;:814,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:548,&quot;bytes&quot;:214712,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/182049821?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd7c16b3c-e48e-4004-b97e-363e7c0a0d80_814x429.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="548" height="288.81081081081084" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LQmh!,w_548,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd7c16b3c-e48e-4004-b97e-363e7c0a0d80_814x429.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I think back to 1985, a Christmas in Copenhagen among Danes around a tree hung with candles, singing their childhood songs, and I, the lone American, in their midst, and thanks to the look of comprehension on my face, a look I developed in grad school during seminars on books I hadn&#8217;t read, the Danes assumed I understood Danish and I enjoyed being free of social interaction, I just nodded and made sounds of assent, and drank the schnapps.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I remember the year I got the bright idea to fly to Troms&#248; in the Norwegian Arctic to see the aurora borealis, and Jenny and I and others spent five days when the sun rose around 11 and set around 1:30 and the nights were long and very cloudy and auroraless, the people were silent and embittered, the food was disgusting, and I stayed in bed with the flu.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I think back to 1997 when Jenny and I spent Christmas Eve sitting together in a candlelit New York apartment, treeless, ornamentless, ungifted, awaiting the imminent birth of our daughter. The monumental fact of parenthood filled the room. Words were not sufficient so we didn&#8217;t say much.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The Trons&#248; Christmas was a great investment. Every year as the day approaches, I think, &#8220;Thank you, Lord, that we&#8217;re not in Norway,&#8221; and life is beautiful, no matter what. It&#8217;s the Christmas that keeps giving.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f18ca04e-9cf1-4d86-a6b3-fd7ad3d26f5e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/195b0df9-b03f-4abf-8c6f-368624adb1f8_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:209009,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/182049821?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F195b0df9-b03f-4abf-8c6f-368624adb1f8_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!fFtV!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F195b0df9-b03f-4abf-8c6f-368624adb1f8_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am a contented man. No gifts for me, please, and thank you very much. A piece of toasted sourdough with orange marmalade would be almost too much. A cup of black coffee is just fine. When you&#8217;ve heard a string of audiences in dim light sing about the manger and the silent night, your heart is full. The Lord is merciful. 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https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QWua!,w_393,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fgeneric-app-button%403x.png 3x" width="131" alt="Get the app" height="40" style="max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJzdGFjay5jb20vc2lnbnVwP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9c3Vic3RhY2smdXRtX21lZGl1bT1lbWFpbCZ1dG1fY29udGVudD1mb290ZXImdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWF1dG9maWxsZWQtZm9vdGVyJmZyZWVTaWdudXBFbWFpbD1yc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tJnI9MTk1Mmt5IiwicCI6MTgyMDQ5ODIxLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NjYxNDI3NDMsImV4cCI6MjA4MTcxODc0MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.qjBYMthTgDvRezbk8dr6h_XHsrejod_kbUAW2_lDKHg?" style="color: rgb(119,119,119);text-decoration: none;display: inline-block;margin: 0 4px;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LkrL!,w_270,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%402x.png" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wgfj!,w_135,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LkrL!,w_270,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%402x.png 2x, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KjtY!,w_405,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%403x.png 3x" width="135" alt="Start writing" height="40" style="max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a></p></div></div></td><td></td></tr></tbody></table><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjE5MTEwMjM4LjMuOWRhOTRmYThkYjNmOTE3ZkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTgyMDQ5ODIxLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6ImJvdHRvbSIsImlhdCI6MTc2NjE0Mjc0NCwiZXhwIjoxNzY4NzM0NzQ0LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.S5CwzFa-sHSRK7w3ClFjLdvaPZZo5KPAC34EFen3vSU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" src="https://email.mg2.substack.com/o/eJwskEuO5CAQBU_TLC3AiQ0LzmIlkPagtqGUQI18-1Z9tvGkUOhF7HRUvv2jti6Sh6SssYK8WpdFAWiwgi7M53ZQIcZOacP-XfUKYIwW_3xESFaF6MjhEoHkLmHVIc7SmAQpiOy11EZp5ZSSerbTPLmEDna0Kcy7U-v-A_I69NRGaB3j7xTrJXLbdqZ3gO88SLwyNxwpU4nk6Ul81_LFOXlltQRntfqQfj_IF_rfTuqdWDxG2GK9rlFyvzcqGE5KX_EIZ47Ycy0vkXZarkaw59Z-QMZaGBPTXeqZ2jutjZDqhbn4A5lzq-WX8nlWFv1z5mjEL9VqrHIzLOLp9V8AAAD__51lez8"></body></html>a3808975-dceb-11f0-af0e-0a39ee06db20Fri, 19 Dec 2025 10:01:47 GMT2025-12-25 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>DECEMBER POEMS</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img 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style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=182247012&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgyMjQ3MDEyLCJpYXQiOjE3NjY2ODIzMDksImV4cCI6MTc2OTI3NDMwOSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.jzLbJT38FQT71HeYXjOSQymkYVj7IjmiorQvJ6MwGdk" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">DECEMBER POEMS</a></h1><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2025-12-25T17:02:24.189Z">Dec 25</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjUxMjMxMTEwMjMwLjMuOWQ3OGEwMDZjNzFiNmM3ZkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MzAxODc1NCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NjcxNzkyOTYsImV4cCI6MTc2OTc3MTI5NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.VTlhEb2tJCsMjfRJMcEbAh1oHB5lINQbjkQF4mozgWU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 12.30.25</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div 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blessing of Christmas pickles</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 12.30.25</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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datetime="2025-12-31T11:05:10.145Z">Dec 31</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>The Christmas blues hit me early this year, right around 10 p.m. on the 24</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> in church. The readings from Scripture were good and we sang Schubert&#8217;s beautiful </span><em>Sanctus </em><span>and various well-loved carols and then the sermon was just an expulsion of air. But the long walk home in the dark was good for the spirit, the city lights, the shops closed so there was no infernal Christmas music about jingling bells, holly, snowmen, sleigh, and when I got home I got out a fresh jar of dill pickles, which I find can be good at interrupting the blues if caught in its early stages.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/46f846a4-1560-4f54-8dac-fb5875420838?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a1a3fdf0-bb16-4205-82ca-5fa477288e49_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:253935,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183018754?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa1a3fdf0-bb16-4205-82ca-5fa477288e49_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!0L5B!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa1a3fdf0-bb16-4205-82ca-5fa477288e49_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My mother made dill pickles with cucumbers fresh from our garden and pickles from Zabar&#8217;s Deli remind me of hers. And remind me of her love of Christmas &#8212; to her, a chance to be cheerful and generous despite the sorrows of this world. A picture of her and her siblings hangs on our wall, nine girls, three boys, minus little Dorothy and her mother who died of scarlet fever. But Mother loved this day in the circle of family. So ours turned out well.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And I&#8217;m not sure why but I believe 2026 is going to be a good year, I truly do. I went to a circus in New York at which a Mongolian acrobatic troupe did an astonishing routine: a slight young woman stood on the lower end of a teeterboard and two big guys jumped off a 15-foot platform onto the upraised end, which flung her backflipping thirty-some feet in the air and onto a chair on the shoulders of the top man in a human tower. I yelled &#8220;Yes!&#8221; It&#8217;s a routine they do at every show but it&#8217;s no casual matter, and when you watch from ten feet away directly behind, the thrill dismisses any and all dismal thoughts.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And I did imagine Mr. Deranger standing on the lower end of the board and being flung up into the rafters and hanging there and the crowd applauding and the circus hands bringing out a net and the old galoot plopping in it like a gigantic flounder.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The circus was a couple days after seeing 1,500 New Yorkers sing two verses of &#8220;Silent Night&#8221; a cappella in four-part harmony &#8212; not Nebraskans, mind you, nor North Dakotans but New Yorkers, setting aside their reputation for dark irony and distaste for schmaltz and singing a sweet harmonious lullaby. It tells me that the miraculous is ever around us if we take a close look.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was in Boston a couple days before that and one morning stood naked, about to step into the shower and saw that I&#8217;d needed to step under the showerhead to turn the water on and the knob wasn&#8217;t marked H or C so I couldn&#8217;t know whether I&#8217;d be scorched or chilled. It was a small glass cubicle, the door opposite the showerhead, no sideway access, the showerhead fixed, aimed straight at me.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/578aa8e6-c355-4d88-916a-882939ce2a28?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/028b1e5d-51bc-40dc-86a8-1fdf3fc251ea_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:162346,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183018754?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F028b1e5d-51bc-40dc-86a8-1fdf3fc251ea_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!V88B!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F028b1e5d-51bc-40dc-86a8-1fdf3fc251ea_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I hesitated and then thought, &#8220;You&#8217;ve lived in Minnesota most of your life, and you flinch at the thought of cold? Have you completely gone soft around the edges?&#8221; So I stepped in, closed the door, turned on the water. Turned it the wrong way and was very cold for about five seconds. It was invigorating. I think 2026 will be too.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And then on Friday evening the real Christmas arrived, snow started falling in Manhattan with eight inches predicted. Parents ran around looking for sleds and snow saucers to buy. It was a beautiful snowstorm. Weathermen often say a snowstorm &#8220;hit&#8221; or &#8220;struck&#8221; but this one simply fell and I thought of all the apartment kids who went to bed that night knowing that tomorrow they&#8217;d go to Central Park and slide down Pilgrim Hill.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">New York is packed with amusements plus all you find on your phone and laptop, and YouTube waits with more, and yet after this gigantic gift of snow, apartment children will flock to the park to experience gravity just as I did on the hill behind Corinne Guntzel&#8217;s house. I towed my toboggan over and she knelt behind me and put her arms around my waist and I gave us a shove and down the hill we raced and then out on the ice of the Mississippi. It was a different country then. Ike was president, who, a few years before, had commanded the Allied forces that defeated Hitler, but gravity is still with us, and the men drop onto the board and the woman flies up onto the top of the tower. Yes!</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="423" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/15ba517a-d14b-4ab5-8dd6-ce7f120949f2?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2OcQ!,w_423,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1078e997-4fcb-40f4-a9e4-ca6f2150ac6f_683x512.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTAyMTEwMTM2LjMuZjgxMmZlOTE5MDI3ODYwMkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTgzMjAwMzcwLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2NzM1MTkyNywiZXhwIjoxNzY5OTQzOTI3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.rJAeq1Dom6UwvZIwiVviJ6399zMR4pH2RpFHLt9fOAs" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.02.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGZ2VhcmluZy11cC10by1nby1vbi10aGUtcm9hZCIsInAiOjE4MzIwMDM3MCwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1Ijo3NTgxOTM0NiwiaWF0IjoxNzY3MzUxOTI2LCJleHAiOjIwODI5Mjc5MjYsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoibGluay1yZWRpcmVjdCJ9.T9izL-e7Hvrbgd2QYrdOQrAbOmyvXN-tYQp6l3MKGfs?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183200370&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzMjAwMzcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjczNTE5MjYsImV4cCI6MTc2OTk0MzkyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.qa_QGma5JqzhZC_zev5mhNdGY-mca_iN7pvG8eQh4Gc" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Gearing up to go on the road</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.02.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-02T11:03:35.019Z">Jan 2</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;border-radius: 500000px;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183200370&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzMjAwMzcwLCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc2NzM1MTkyNiwiZXhwIjoxNzY5OTQzOTI2LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.rLTOGHF0oomah4dLqVh2lDy4kzgFAIy22vH7gaO7hN0&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Some days I glance at the front page and see the name </span><em>RUMP </em><span>in three or four places so I flip back to the </span><em>Lifestyle </em><span>section and maybe find a wine review, &#8220;Fresh and vivacious with chewy tannins and bursts of flowers and fruits.&#8221; The deranged man with cognitive problems is a passing phenom, but bursts of flowers and fruits have been with us forever and even in January here in Manhattan one can find shops to walk into and feel flowers bursting around you and markets where you inhale the freshness of mounds of apples and pears and oranges.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c4d6e9c8-c1bc-423b-bff4-04b76563b16c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_nqC!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F19a729f6-7994-4710-b176-e0843bf6b82b_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>The old king who goes mad is a character out of Shakespeare, he has no place in America, you walk out of a performance of </span><em>King Lear </em><span>and buy a bouquet of tulips and a bag of apples and you&#8217;re back to reality. When Van Gogh admitted himself to the asylum for the insane at Saint-R&#233;my in Provence, he spent the last years of his life painting the gardens and woods, the trees and flowers, paintings that were the finest of his life. He could&#8217;ve been destructive, set fires, broken windows, preyed on the weak and helpless, but he did not, he found solace in painting. This is the difference between an artist and a creep.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am not insane, insensitive yes, perhaps slightly autistic, lacking in social skills due to my Sanctified upbringing that taught me to shun unbelievers, but I found ways to work around this and engage with people, starting with my discovery of the limerick. Other kids were writing haiku.</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>The blackbird descends Overhead in the darkness And shrieks at the moon.</em><span> </span></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Which I didn&#8217;t understand at all, compared to the simple construction of a five-line limerick.</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>I do not like camping at all, Not winter, spring, summer or fall. I hate snakes and owls And can&#8217;t move my bowels Except in a warm toilet stall.</em><span> </span></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>It isn&#8217;t </span><em>The Starry Night </em><span>or </span><em>Irises </em><span>but it makes people laugh or at least smile and it is easily replicated, you don&#8217;t need to go to New York or L.A. to see it.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">From the limerick I worked my way up to writing essays and stories and eventually wound up on a stage with a microphone and there, thank the Lord, I was able to be the warm friendly good-humored soul I found it hard to be in real life. As a writer, you spend a good deal of time looking at the wall. Or you lie on the floor and gaze at the ceiling. Neither of these practices is conducive to becoming a charming person. But as I have proved, one can work around one&#8217;s deficiencies to achieve adequacy.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="477" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/4e8807db-ec56-4849-b253-d1277b00ce4b?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8fd8f35e-4e2c-41ea-9f65-864e430c789d_726x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:726,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:477,&quot;bytes&quot;:279598,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183200370?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8fd8f35e-4e2c-41ea-9f65-864e430c789d_726x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="477" height="316.68595041322317" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hlDQ!,w_477,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8fd8f35e-4e2c-41ea-9f65-864e430c789d_726x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My life has been a series of trips on sinking ships. I went to high school and college before there were cellphones, when students looked at the teacher and took notes in longhand. I grew up among Sanctified who were so devoted to God&#8217;s Word they sat through two-hour Bible study sessions with a brief hymn-singing intermission. I sat in their midst and surreptitiously wrote limericks.</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ Was, for our sins, sacrificed, Was raised from the dead To become Living Bread, Ever fresh, whole wheat, and unsliced.</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I wrote for my hometown paper when it was set in hot lead on a Linotype by a printer named Jens smoking a Lucky and drinking coffee laced with bourbon and the paper was printed on a flatbed press that was inked with rollers and delivered fresh to people&#8217;s doorsteps by boys on bicycles, which now is ancient history along with the Aztecs, the passenger pigeon, and magnetic recording tape. I necked with a girl in the front seat of a car, when the front seat was a bench seat and the gearshift was on the steering wheel, before it was installed between the two bucket seats and made necking awkward at best so that the front-seat couple had to listen to the cries of pleasure from the back-seat couple who went on to a happy marriage and the front-seaters lacked the social skills needed to establish satisfying relationships.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f2601e7f-2dda-404b-a3fc-454f6517d31e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/33d042d3-d5bf-4f94-92ad-d5e02f801b5b_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:194058,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183200370?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33d042d3-d5bf-4f94-92ad-d5e02f801b5b_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="316.89502762430936" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DE4T!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33d042d3-d5bf-4f94-92ad-d5e02f801b5b_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>But people still go to theaters and clubs to see a person stand at a microphone and try to amuse them, and as long as they do, I am prepared to be that person. I do not talk about mad kings in my performance. I&#8217;m not a psychiatrist and I found </span><em>King Lear </em><span>boring when I was forced to read it in college. He died. Good riddance.</span></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183200370&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzMjAwMzcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjczNTE5MjYsImV4cCI6MTc2OTk0MzkyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.qa_QGma5JqzhZC_zev5mhNdGY-mca_iN7pvG8eQh4Gc&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTA3MTEwMjQ2LjMuN2RiOTliNjY0ZGQ2NTAyOEBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4MzYwMzY4NiwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3Njc3ODQzNzcsImV4cCI6MTc3MDM3NjM3NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.63EfXLNOO9h93ZRhruYM0cLkyMl2kZH7Xaz1hDW6IM8" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.05.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183603686&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzNjAzNjg2LCJpYXQiOjE3Njc3ODQzNzYsImV4cCI6MTc3MDM3NjM3NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EAMdFfsYuaec8GKQu1afAkcsuPbCbp3JUe9CdDprCgs" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Watching the ball drop</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.05.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td 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Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-07T11:08:01.104Z">Jan 7</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid 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pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We stood at the window, my love and I, and heard the fireworks whomping and racketing away over Times Square at precisely midnight last Wednesday, as 2026 arrived and like many people my age I thought about aging &#8212; in sixteen years, Lord willing, I&#8217;ll be 100, which is astonishing; I&#8217;ve been avoiding exercise all my life. Meanwhile, the city was swearing in a new mayor, 34, born in Uganda to a Muslim father and Hindu mother, an immigrant at the age of seven, running as a Democratic Socialist, Zohran Mamdani. It appears that we Episcopalians&#8217; grip on authority may be sort of fragile.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/a1f0e8a0-ccd1-42dc-b24e-4da3a153af01?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ab89fad4-e3a8-4cff-9cb6-1bbbeb9f882d_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:314659,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183603686?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fab89fad4-e3a8-4cff-9cb6-1bbbeb9f882d_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Pmdh!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fab89fad4-e3a8-4cff-9cb6-1bbbeb9f882d_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">New York is the city to live in if you don&#8217;t have the time and dough to travel all over the world, just get an apartment here and use public transportation and walk in the parks. My love walked for a few miles around Central Park recently and heard a good deal of French, Arabic, several African languages, some Swedish, Spanish, and here and there some English. I read somewhere that eighty languages are spoken by students in the public schools.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">If you travel to foreign countries and visit the big museums and cathedrals and historic sites, you&#8217;ll meet a lot of well-to-do Iowans and Californians. If you want to meet the natives, come to New York.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Mayor Mamdani promised to govern &#8220;audaciously&#8221; and remain true to his progressive principles, but he wore a suit and tie, his beard was trimmed, his hair was nicely coiffed, and he smiled as he said it. He didn&#8217;t wave his arms or make sharp jabbing motions. His idea of free bus service seems doable, public safety reform &#8212; okay, rent freeze on subsidized housing, tax increases on the rich, all worthwhile. And good luck with the $30 minimum hourly wage and universal public child. But the city seemed rather delighted by his election, that the democratic process, messy as it is, could reject the strongman candidate and the crooked incumbent in favor of this young idealistic newcomer, leaving his one-bedroom apartment in Queens for Gracie Mansion.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/67465d74-25fd-4560-b691-b3e3a2bc6ad2?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8fbb7fc7-7d91-44f2-9dd3-adbdd2b712c5_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:299280,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183603686?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8fbb7fc7-7d91-44f2-9dd3-adbdd2b712c5_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OYWf!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8fbb7fc7-7d91-44f2-9dd3-adbdd2b712c5_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The opposition will marshal its resources in due course but the inauguration was festive, as it should be. This is a proud city, proud of its pizzazz, its street life, its Up-Yours resistance to bullies as shown by the women who fought Robert Moses&#8217;s plan to build an expressway across lower Manhattan ages ago, wiping out Soho, destroying Washington Square Park in the Village. The women won and preserved the city of neighborhoods we know today, the primacy of public transportation, a city of walkers.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My love is a devoted walker, walking is how she maintains her cheerful spirit, and she comes home and tells me, the guy sitting at the laptop, what she saw and heard. She came to New York when she was 19 to study violin. When I was 19, I could no more have come to New York than I could&#8217;ve gone to Greenland to study Inuit. But my literary ambitions tended eastward and I spent time in the city, brushing elbows with writers, hoping something would rub off on me.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">One Christmas long ago, I was in New York enjoying the general dazzlement and one day slipped into St. Patrick&#8217;s as a tourist and found it packed to the rafters for an afternoon Mass in Spanish, the name &#8220;Jesucristo&#8221; drifting around the battlements, and was delighted to be there, entirely out of my element, anonymous as could be. It was like a big joyful family reunion but not my family so nobody was mad at me and I didn&#8217;t have to remember people&#8217;s names. I squeezed into the crowd, under the placid stone faces of saints, the sweet smell of burning wax, and felt the fervor, and tears came to my eyes, and I lit a candle, said a wordless prayer, and listened to the sermon and was in agreement with all of it, everything, the totality.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/35844092-261b-49f6-bb94-d0e54e1f1b4e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1ab23f52-dadb-4257-81d2-31a32461cf91_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:410083,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/183603686?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ab23f52-dadb-4257-81d2-31a32461cf91_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!T-4h!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ab23f52-dadb-4257-81d2-31a32461cf91_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It was a profound experience. A man gets a keener sense of the divine in a church speaking a foreign language. Maybe Luther and Calvin and Jan Hus were dead wrong and literacy is not the key or a correct understanding of doctrine, maybe the essence of our Christian faith is dumb childlike wonder. In New York, I&#8217;m surrounded by things I don&#8217;t understand. It&#8217;s good to know I am not as smart as I thought. Okay, enough about me, let&#8217;s go have lunch.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183603686&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzNjAzNjg2LCJpYXQiOjE3Njc3ODQzNzYsImV4cCI6MTc3MDM3NjM3NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EAMdFfsYuaec8GKQu1afAkcsuPbCbp3JUe9CdDprCgs&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183603686&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzNjAzNjg2LCJpYXQiOjE3Njc3ODQzNzYsImV4cCI6MTc3MDM3NjM3NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EAMdFfsYuaec8GKQu1afAkcsuPbCbp3JUe9CdDprCgs" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Garrison Keillor&#8217;s </span><em>Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80</em><span> is a warm, funny audiobook that offers clear-eyed wisdom and humor about why growing older can be one of life&#8217;s best stages.</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color 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width="492" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/ad8f7438-c669-489f-96de-5a40ec687f96?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e85d121b-a3d6-442d-9506-5d93d8020602_2048x2048.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1456,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:492,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="492" height="492" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!l6DL!,w_492,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe85d121b-a3d6-442d-9506-5d93d8020602_2048x2048.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div></div></div><div class="container-border" style="margin: 32px 0 0;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;border-top: 1px solid #d4cdbd;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"></div><div class="typography" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="postscript" style="margin: 32px 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="body markup" dir="auto" style="text-align: initial;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;width: 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), 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.typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTA5MTQ0NTAxLjMuMDI3ZmUyZjk3MzQyY2M5NkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg0MDI2MDE1LCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2Nzk2OTk1OCwiZXhwIjoxNzcwNTYxOTU4LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.JU82wcO6haw5cBI4cS6ffEvSv0JyaqPPtCrJ95NZ9gY" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.09.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGd2F0Y2hpbmctdGhlLXdvcmxkLWZhbGwtYXBhcnQiLCJwIjoxODQwMjYwMTUsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc2Nzk2OTk1NywiZXhwIjoyMDgzNTQ1OTU3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.OnDIoqQZOdXPBEHx6Mld-Hd7ubFGAVL_KBY50IRepMs?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184026015&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDI2MDE1LCJpYXQiOjE3Njc5Njk5NTcsImV4cCI6MTc3MDU2MTk1NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.saLdOrqrY_wfJO3sUoUBUMgcaDbTRLo7VM6cO4aVuTU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Watching the world fall apart</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.09.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-09T14:45:09.108Z">Jan 9</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184026015&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDI2MDE1LCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc2Nzk2OTk1NywiZXhwIjoxNzcwNTYxOTU3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.OWXSjGm1h5esQHae4F99y6b7flSxhaxQ4Q9HsMM34Mc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: 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href="https://substack.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.NhUb9Qn7j4EZlEY1r0KsA3RxBn9nHNPC9SccluyTDEo?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=184026015" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The world comes to an end and the world keeps on going. Life is a series of sinking ships but still people go sailing as if it hadn&#8217;t happened. Disaster strikes and people wake up the next morning and have breakfast.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/d6c68e84-aa50-43c0-8e1d-ecee0b2a5d85?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/158b93b5-31c7-47b4-94a1-9c10d9ff7979_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:192815,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184026015?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F158b93b5-31c7-47b4-94a1-9c10d9ff7979_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="315.56353591160223" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wtS4!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F158b93b5-31c7-47b4-94a1-9c10d9ff7979_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I took a cab to JFK, which thus far has not been renamed Trump Kennedy Airport, and boarded a plane to Seattle, six hours over the Great Lakes (soon to be renamed Greatest Lakes) and the northern plains (Nowheresville) and the Rockies, and thanks to Wi-Fi I could watch CNN and see that the America we learned about in high school, a bastion of freedom, a bulwark against tyranny, a beacon of human rights and individual dignity, is not shared by our own government. There was Stephen Miller, the Secretary of Anger, yelling at Jake Tapper as if he had no right to question the current foreign policy of Whatever We Want Whenever We Wish and that, by God, America has a right to take Greenland by force if necessary and Tapper looked dumbfounded. It was like confronting someone on the street yelling that he is God&#8217;s envoy so get off the sidewalk and let me through. You&#8217;d look for a cop to take the poor soul to a safe place.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Stephen&#8217;s people came from czarist Russia 250 years after my people came here from Yorkshire. His ancestors left the czar behind but Stephen is trying to re-create him. He is the brains behind the mass deportations by ICE men and the reshaping of the Department of Justice to be Don&#8217;s law firm. You just hope the F.A.A. is not hiring air traffic controllers on the basis of loyalty to the America First way of thinking.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We have a proud bully for a head of state. This is a man who, to the best of my knowledge, has never uttered an apology nor expressed sympathy for suffering people nor told a joke that made people laugh nor talked about a book he read that made an impression on him. Richard Nixon was a giant compared to this man.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="478" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/1ba25150-6e1b-4abd-a4ed-bf123828aabe?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/438c2246-b4c1-4fe2-9483-b15874dfa1a7_594x392.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:392,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:478,&quot;bytes&quot;:112400,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184026015?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F438c2246-b4c1-4fe2-9483-b15874dfa1a7_594x392.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="478" height="315.44781144781143" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lTmg!,w_478,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F438c2246-b4c1-4fe2-9483-b15874dfa1a7_594x392.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We never imagined our country would come to this but it has and we face the possibility that the man who says the woman shot by an ICE agent in Minneapolis was, despite video evidence to the contrary, trying to run him down, the man who ordered the kidnapping of Maduro is quite capable of canceling the 2026 election and putting his opponents under arrest. The Congress and the Supreme Court have relinquished their constitutional powers. Don enjoys similar freedom as Vlad and Xi do. He turned a great American political party into his personal cult. The murder of the Minneapolis woman will be investigated by Don&#8217;s FBI, and his Secretary Noem says local law enforcement has no jurisdiction. Poorly trained thugs with masks now are immune from law enforcement? Interesting.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">You and I should be astonished. We may be witnessing the end of America as the Founders envisioned it, establishing the rule of law, the separation of powers, and promoting the general welfare and, as Lincoln said, &#8220;dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal&#8221; &#8212; and if so, we should at least pay attention. If an earthquake struck and the walls rattled and windows broke, you wouldn&#8217;t go on grilling hamburgers, you&#8217;d want to see what a cataclysm looks like.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Policy adviser Miller said that a military operation to take control of Greenland is an option. Secretary Hegseth agrees. General Caine, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has not weighed in though he must be aware that the NATO charter we signed forbids such a thing. I hope his mother taught him about right and wrong.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We may have lost our country but Amazon will still deliver, spring training will start, you can say what you like over the breakfast table, and you don&#8217;t know any Greenlanders personally and neither do I, so when the Marines capture the city of Nuuk and Jeff Landry becomes the prime minister, it will come as no surprise, and those who protest this will be low-IQ Marxist-Leninist garbage and why bother?</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/bc7e1391-6ad3-494c-b8d9-4fa7c796ec4c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1d97c5a3-7261-4021-9c4b-9346b500573c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:343479,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184026015?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1d97c5a3-7261-4021-9c4b-9346b500573c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_zuD!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1d97c5a3-7261-4021-9c4b-9346b500573c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">But what will we do on the Fourth of July? Other than eat hot dogs and set off fireworks? Will anyone give a speech? What can they say? Will troops be called out to prevent public unrest? Will there be unrest? And when these bastards finally leak away, what will they leave behind? 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTA5MTQ0NTAxLjMuMDI3ZmUyZjk3MzQyY2M5NkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg0MDI2MDE1LCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6ImJvdHRvbSIsImlhdCI6MTc2Nzk2OTk1OCwiZXhwIjoxNzcwNTYxOTU4LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.7j9hybpUPG9FFC6CfcJJ-xCig1QSckkIRK1FjlzqLG4" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTE2MTEwMTM0LjMuYWE3ZTMwMDU1YWZkMWVkNkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg0NjkwNjYxLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2ODU2MTUxNywiZXhwIjoxNzcxMTUzNTE3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.PtURLSlcLMGZuf4JfpoZmiw2l9Js8RbFFVZy-ss48Zo" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.16.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184690661&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0NjkwNjYxLCJpYXQiOjE3Njg1NjE1MTcsImV4cCI6MTc3MTE1MzUxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.SQIimMRFMWkej0BtsPPGX8xG3JUgCo0mcLFB3rZWZYU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The old man's winter night</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.16.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-16T11:03:45.657Z">Jan 16</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.ycBuxju4_uTgxtGw2xyTvy_QlQBPfwCaSZ0-mGwLfx4?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=184690661" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>A </span><em>Times </em><span>story reporting that college students in a writing course do better when they go offline for a month makes perfect sense to me, same as if you say a writer does better at a laptop in the public library than shnockered on a sailboat in a storm, but the idea of persuading students to go offline strikes me as quixotic, like Amish evangelism or banning the use of chairs. The internet is here and we&#8217;re all caught up in it.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/20314d2a-348f-4738-9a45-bc865370d7a1?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c15cd11f-04c4-4c63-8fb2-3a5ce79850d0_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:163729,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184690661?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc15cd11f-04c4-4c63-8fb2-3a5ce79850d0_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!zsdG!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc15cd11f-04c4-4c63-8fb2-3a5ce79850d0_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">l was in my 50s when the World Wide Web came in. Its advent was not a big event to me; I was still working on a manual Underwood typewriter. I have a clearer memory of seeing Albert Woolson, the last living Civil War veteran, in a parade in downtown Minneapolis. I remember my uncle Jim farming with horses and Fibber McGee and Molly on the radio. And I remember boredom, which has mostly disappeared in America except perhaps among lighthouse keepers or attendants in parking ramps or felons in solitary confinement. And maybe imprisonment offline would be considered cruel and inhumane in a court of law.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Growing up pre-Google in a small Midwestern town among taciturn people, I experienced boredom intensely and it led to reading and in due course to writing. I took up haiku:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Three blackbirds shrieking As my old black cat calmly Squats in the sandpile.</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">This was enough to amuse me back then. And because I could write a 17-syllable haiku and had good handwriting and spoke in complete sentences, I was considered gifted.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I considered becoming a poet but I wanted to earn money and not live up over my parents&#8217; garage so I went into public radio where, thank goodness, the audience was made up of reference librarians, caregivers, birdwatchers, organic gardeners, people who were spiritual but not religious, people who enjoyed the enigmatic more than actual entertainment. I shouldn&#8217;t brag but I can be more enigmatic than anyone I know.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="475" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2be0efe0-75d0-4387-813a-7733fe936e46?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/79779e11-8e3d-44f4-a3c2-5265a5b43d27_723x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:723,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:475,&quot;bytes&quot;:194055,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184690661?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F79779e11-8e3d-44f4-a3c2-5265a5b43d27_723x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="475" height="316.6666666666667" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!xAsU!,w_475,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F79779e11-8e3d-44f4-a3c2-5265a5b43d27_723x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I got a reputation as an artistic storyteller, which, believe me, there is no such thing &#8212; storytelling is not an art, it&#8217;s a craft, like plumbing, and either the water comes out of the tap or it doesn&#8217;t. But back in the Boring Eighties, enigma was more appreciated. And now, there&#8217;s the smartphone offering endless entertainment, videos, YouTube, GPS telling you exactly where on Earth you are and how far to the nearest comedy club, yoga studio, liquor store and not just any old liquor store but one that offers designer beer with floral notes of marigolds sprinkled with saffron playing off earthy vanilla with rustic bitterness in the finish. We didn&#8217;t have that back in my time, just cold beer.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I try to explain this to young people, the fact that we didn&#8217;t have soft butter then, butter aerated to make it spreadable, just little hard bricks of butter that when you tried to spread it on toast, you tore the toast apart, or else you scraped shavings of butter off and by the time the toast was buttered it was cold.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Back in the day, before &#8220;google&#8221; became a verb, we had to memorize information, it wasn&#8217;t readily available, such as verb tenses or state capitals or the nine planets &#8212; </span><em>My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas</em><span> &#8212; Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto &#8212; and a boy named Ralph Krause liked to ask Mr. Jensen our science teacher, How big is Uranus? Is there life on Uranus? It was a high point of science class, in which high points were few and far between.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="482" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/952f2912-b42e-486b-862a-c5c91b125286?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e8ca3903-dae0-4cf7-8d90-af40c4de99fa_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:482,&quot;bytes&quot;:244009,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/184690661?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ca3903-dae0-4cf7-8d90-af40c4de99fa_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="482" height="321.5552486187845" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!46T5!,w_482,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8ca3903-dae0-4cf7-8d90-af40c4de99fa_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I grew up under the heavy burden of Boy Scouts, which I believe has mostly disappeared, done in by social media. We had cruel Scoutmasters who took us winter camping in the North Woods, believing adversity stimulates intelligence. I&#8217;m not so sure. I associate intelligence with staying warm.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I look at politics, the regressive MAGA right (working hard to horrify the genteel left), which has elected nihilists in golf pants who exercise their whimsical powers to serve 3% of the people 75% of the time, and it&#8217;s easy to despair but if you go offline and wander through crowds of Christmas shoppers, you sense the spirit of kindness and gaiety of our people.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Old men dozing off at the switch need to be shoveled into the Home for the Hopeless and let the young and conscientious come in to repair the damage. I hope it happens in my lifetime.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184690661&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0NjkwNjYxLCJpYXQiOjE3Njg1NjE1MTcsImV4cCI6MTc3MTE1MzUxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.SQIimMRFMWkej0BtsPPGX8xG3JUgCo0mcLFB3rZWZYU&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><span>Celebrate the wit and heart of </span><em>That Time of Year: A Minnesota Life</em><span> &#8212; Garrison Keillor&#8217;s warm, humorous memoir tracing his journey from small-town Minnesota beginnings to creator of </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion</em><span>.</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro 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float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor 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.captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTIxMTEwMDM2LjMuODZjNTEwYWQ3YWRkOGUxOUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NTIxOTEyNCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3Njg5OTM0MTYsImV4cCI6MTc3MTU4NTQxNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.1XoIZGI3SCAj0RjMXrmo-VD5eYeD5AcnCa1yrnsotUs" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.19.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGdGhlLW9sZC1ndXktaGl0cy10aGUtZGVjayIsInAiOjE4NTIxOTEyNCwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1Ijo3NTgxOTM0NiwiaWF0IjoxNzY4OTkzNDE1LCJleHAiOjIwODQ1Njk0MTUsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoibGluay1yZWRpcmVjdCJ9.K6DJiE90TjSY0iZsCVMLGLfXyd_qmNgSGucPJ88VwI4?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=185219124&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg1MjE5MTI0LCJpYXQiOjE3Njg5OTM0MTUsImV4cCI6MTc3MTU4NTQxNSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.V8kSQ2lb60w7WCrZTwtMbhK7ahI472NHKuGEXePSf90" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The old guy hits the deck</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.19.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-21T11:02:26.679Z">Jan 21</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=185219124&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg1MjE5MTI0LCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc2ODk5MzQxNSwiZXhwIjoxNzcxNTg1NDE1LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.01pkWS5Qhu_TK4N7TrsWAc8--4fcMBdyD0TyOr_Ws74&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Now and then as He sees fit, the Lord drops us into an interesting situation to make sure we&#8217;re paying attention and a week ago Friday night, having begun a stand-up comedy tour in Bend, Oregon, to a full house and a standing O, I awoke in Carson City, Nevada, with a bump on my head, unable to move my left arm and my face was scratched and my left shin hurt.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/fba0a708-9545-4916-9c71-6130775b081c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Snvj!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe5005bdd-fdaa-4228-b0aa-2886934faaed_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">No, I hadn&#8217;t been drinking; old age is excitement enough, no need for intoxicants, I set the bottle aside twenty years ago. My best guess was that I&#8217;d had a seizure &#8212; I&#8217;m 83 and on anti-seizure meds after a stroke, maybe two, and probably I tumbled out of bed and crashed into something, a bedside table, but had no memory of it, not a sliver. I went back to sleep.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">In the morning my manager Sam Hudson drove me to the Carson Tahoe Hospital ER where a young doc questioned me and it was determined that I had dislocated my left shoulder and would need surgery so I was wheeled up to room 317 and admitted to the gentle universe of nurses. A parade of granddaughters, exquisitely polite, good humored, and my job was to amuse them.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It was the day Mr. Trump&#8217;s freelance ICE cowboys were snatching people off the streets of Minneapolis in my mother&#8217;s old neighborhood, where one of them shot and killed Renee Good, the mother of a small child, after her wife addressed him as Big Boy. Barbaric cruelty in the news from back home, meanwhile I was tucked into bed and an alarm button put in my hand. If I simply stood up, a light flashed, a robotic voice warned me not to get up, and moments later Patricia or Sylvia or Aileen stepped into the room and said, &#8220;Where are we trying to go?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">What can I get you?&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/d014befc-121c-4913-b7df-92e6d3b0b056?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/13509f05-6aeb-4bc9-a29b-b82e1b37e218_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:152916,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/185219124?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F13509f05-6aeb-4bc9-a29b-b82e1b37e218_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LmfV!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F13509f05-6aeb-4bc9-a29b-b82e1b37e218_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Women in their twenties, practicing endless resilient cheerfulness, checking my vitals, testing peripheral vision, making sure my marbles are intact, that I know who and where I am.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A CAT scan was taken and an MRI. What happened to me was tragic: a fully functioning adult on a roll, doing his work, amusing paying customers, and then hit by a lightning bolt. My left arm in a sling, I needed help buttoning my trousers, buttering my bread. Amazing what a lame left arm can mean. Even blowing your nose is an interesting problem. Jenny joined me and we booked a flight back to New York.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The underlying spirit of nursing: Life is a comedy, injuries have remedies, help is on the way, and when each shift walks into the room, we fall into lighthearted banter. &#8220;How are we doing?&#8221; she says.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;We? We&#8217;re a couple already?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;How are you doing?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Never better,&#8221; I start to stand up and lose my balance and lurch forward and she grabs me and says, &#8220;You okay?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;A man fantasizes about being in the arms of a powerful woman.&#8221; She laughs at the harmless flirtation of a wounded elderly man.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A pair of physical therapists take me for a hike, ask if I&#8217;d like to see a chaplain. &#8220;I&#8217;m Episcopalian,&#8221; I say. &#8220;You torture me, I&#8217;ll put you in a story.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;It isn&#8217;t torture as long as you show improvement.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">On Monday a friendly surgeon, Pete Althausen, walked in; he said he had grown up listening to me on the radio, his parents were fans. The admiration of a certified M.D. &#8212; who could ask for more?</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/759b9e91-511f-453f-b46a-0c3cb7e68f4f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/34b55ee4-29c0-4750-966c-27d6293c70f0_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:149784,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/185219124?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34b55ee4-29c0-4750-966c-27d6293c70f0_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6Jev!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34b55ee4-29c0-4750-966c-27d6293c70f0_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The next day I was wheeled into OR and he performed a simple procedure to put the shoulder back in place; no incision, but under full anesthesia, awakening in Recovery to cheerful professional voices, and a day later, off to the airport, arm in a sling.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We flew nonstop over the Mississippi, scenes of oppression below, ICE thugs tailing small children home from school, based on their foreign appearance.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Two different countries. I&#8217;m a Minnesotan, I grew up in a mannerly culture, a &#8220;Pardon me&#8221; culture, people ever prepared to apologize and step back.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">New York City is different. When ICE went around without warrants, bullying civilians on the basis of appearance, proud NYPD cops stood up to them, yelled in their faces, &#8220;You can play your games in other states, but not here, this is Brooklyn.&#8221; And ICE backed down.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Insanity is at the wheel and it must be resisted. Minneapolis cops need to protect the people of Minneapolis. Taking over Greenland is insanity. The people who put the president in office need to extract him. 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href="https://substack.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.8-37_QhZ-SWs83eq2m3YeNH1EMx5ha4hGR1sT14bipQ?&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 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.typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTIzMTk1NjAzLjMuOGUxOGYwNDg1YjFkYzRjZkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg1NTcxODUwLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc2OTE5ODIzNywiZXhwIjoxNzcxNzkwMjM3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.pq6-9TOKOks5gAeO-uLpKxMPerpofFfnsS0byV-ZWgs" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 06.23.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=185571850&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg1NTcxODUwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjkxOTgyMzYsImV4cCI6MTc3MTc5MDIzNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.UwnGVY5vaqEQnXaAAMiQWR5JhItsRAF2CpGGBso7-SY" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">We're turning a corner, friends</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 06.23.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-23T19:56:11.015Z">Jan 23</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.jFHE7Wf9CeO2pSDdBCf8vtCqgSQNhv9GFsoF5mHSOfA?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=185571850" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;m a lucky man; born in 1942, early enough to hear stories about the Great Depression, my mother selling peanut butter sandwiches door to door, to know the Great Generation that defeated fascism, early enough to get in on the Family Farm with chickens and cows and plow horses, before farming got industrialized, early enough to hear rock &#8217;n&#8217; roll when it was about cars and girls and surf, before it took itself seriously, and born late enough to take advantage of open-heart surgery and blood thinners and anti-seizure meds, which have given me a couple bonus decades.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And now here I am, having fallen two weeks ago and crunched my left shoulder and become a one-armed man, and I am scheduled for minimally invasive replacement surgery in New York by Dr. Samuel Taylor who showed me, with a video on his cellphone, how this will give me ten to fifteen years of usefulness.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/b4fe76a6-93a5-4b7e-ad56-dab22197b089?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/211466c2-e835-4b1b-922f-719933d7eadc_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:141619,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/185571850?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F211466c2-e835-4b1b-922f-719933d7eadc_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QUeQ!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F211466c2-e835-4b1b-922f-719933d7eadc_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The idea of giving an old man a future, and not sit limp in the chimney corner &#8212; this is revolutionary. I&#8217;m a lucky man.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was on a solo stand-up comedy tour of the Southwest, when it happened and suddenly certain things became very clear. The fragility of life, the importance of a left arm even for a right-handed man, and the devotion of my wife.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>After thirty years of marriage, it&#8217;s easy for a couple to take each other for granted, but in the two weeks since the fall, it&#8217;s been stunningly clear that the woman loves me truly and deeply and is my guardian and best friend. I&#8217;m a Minnesotan, I come from modest people, we hope for friendship, loyalty, forgiveness, but this woman who now adjusts my arm in its sling and deodorizes me and slips the black T-shirt over my head and buckles my belt &#8212; I can see that she adores me. I admire and adore her. Which makes my mishap worth all the trouble, the attention of staff at the Hospital for Special Surgery on East 71</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">st</sup><span> Street, the expertise of Dr. Helfet and Dr. Jensen and Dr. Taylor, the attention of the cruel physical therapists who will torment this sedentary sluggard into shape.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My ambition is to become America&#8217;s oldest working stand-up. Life is a comedy. When you&#8217;re a kid, you can dabble in depression but beyond 60, there&#8217;s no time to waste, you need to appreciate your everyday life. We stride across the room confidently, hit a wrinkle in the rug, and become a clown act.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f32705d4-afbc-4d98-8f3b-6ae25cf3e0a1?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7d134483-e201-436c-ac94-7832e466b21a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:171995,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/185571850?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7d134483-e201-436c-ac94-7832e466b21a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!EVy5!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7d134483-e201-436c-ac94-7832e466b21a_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was cool fifty years ago when I was a Grateful Dead fan and I sang:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>In the attics of my life Full of cloudy dreams unreal, Full of tastes no tongue can know And lights no eye can see. When there was no ear to hear You sang to me.</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I&#8217;m not cool anymore. I can&#8217;t even see it from here. But I&#8217;m a lucky man; I had a productive life. So if the great American Experiment is winding down in its 250</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> year, I&#8217;m glad I got to see it.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Insanity is at the wheel. The Chief covets Greenland and insults our allies who oppose him. He exercises the power to militarily occupy cities that voted against him. His family has used public office to aggrandize itself by a billion and a half in just one year and done it openly, no attempt at concealment. He has shown contempt for starving people. He has shown fondness for mouthing off sarcastically and at great length in a style never before seen in the Oval Office. He seems quite capable of canceling the midterm elections and declaring himself a permanent president.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="468" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/bcb1368a-8562-412d-b458-f75f95b7f3f8?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/33fa22ae-f9cb-44f7-bebb-15b0caebfb73_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:468,&quot;bytes&quot;:172644,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/185571850?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33fa22ae-f9cb-44f7-bebb-15b0caebfb73_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="468" height="312.21546961325964" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!MvQc!,w_468,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F33fa22ae-f9cb-44f7-bebb-15b0caebfb73_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I believe in redemption. I confess my sins on Sunday at St. Michael&#8217;s and embrace my true love and a New Day dawns. I believe in the Republican Party of my uncles, before it followed this crypto-narcissist McKinley off the cliff. Demanding Greenland as compensation for not getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Thirteen hundred masked thugs on the federal payroll roaming Minnesota and terrorizing the unwhite.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Suddenly Canada finds the neighborhood going to hell. Senator Thune, History has its eye on you and you know it. If you stand by and watch this aging adolescent corrupt the military and the Department of Justice, history will strip you naked and slime you head to toe. Don has no conscience and never did and history will treat him as a freak. You will not get off so easily.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=185571850&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg1NTcxODUwLCJpYXQiOjE3NjkxOTgyMzYsImV4cCI6MTc3MTc5MDIzNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.UwnGVY5vaqEQnXaAAMiQWR5JhItsRAF2CpGGBso7-SY&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Celebrate the season and Minnesota pride with the Winter Quote Long-Sleeved Shirt.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: 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src="https://email.mg2.substack.com/o/eJwskEmO7CAQBU_TLC0GMy04i5WGtD9qDKUE6su3b9WwjSeFQi_CwLPRHR6tD5bCmoTTjmEQ1njJhVae4QW5bCdWJBiYNhjvVXgnleVKsX8hWqeVcEaj4VHDYY2VcCAq9JIb7VgOkkvDhVTCa8PVohaHwh18dXoXKa7x-Fn5dcqlz70PiL9LbBfLfTsI3wFh0ET2ytxgpow1YsAn0t3qF-cUhNPaCqf5h4z7gaHi_15wDCT2mPsW23XNmse9YYW9YPqK515yhJFbfYmkl9xqRoF6_1l5bJUgEd61ldTfaX3uqV2QaziBKPdWfzGX0oiNz5mzI71UVjvh1WrYM8i_AAAA__-EmHo-"></body></html>b235a67f-f89e-11f0-8c6a-0a39ee06db20Fri, 23 Jan 2026 16:01:33 GMT2026-01-27 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>JANUARY POETRY WINNERS</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, 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rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">JANUARY POETRY WINNERS</a></h1><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTI4MTEwMjQ3LjMuNmJmOTUzYmVhODNhZjAzYUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NjAxODI0MSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3Njk1OTg0NTEsImV4cCI6MTc3MjE5MDQ1MSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.78_H-TBV-NkNvYT1nL3wxtI6D6OOYcil-M99BQbSNR4" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.26.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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man at the concert</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.26.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-28T11:04:51.650Z">Jan 28</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPXBvc3QmdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWVtYWlsLWNoZWNrb3V0Jm5leHQ9aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZnYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tJTJGcCUyRnRoZS1vbmUtYXJtZWQtbWFuLWF0LXRoZS1jb25jZXJ0JnI9MTk1Mmt5JnRva2VuPWV5SjFjMlZ5WDJsa0lqbzNOVGd4T1RNME5pd2lhV0YwSWpveE56WTVOVGs0TkRVd0xDSmxlSEFpT2pFM056SXhPVEEwTlRBc0ltbHpjeUk2SW5CMVlpMHlPVEl3TnpVaUxDSnpkV0lpT2lKamFHVmphMjkxZENKOS5qRURHUlNMVGVRWkg5bDVzZG9NODRaX0VMSjY0d2U2a2tuYkt1V2lQaDNZIiwicCI6MTg2MDE4MjQxLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3Njk1OTg0NTAsImV4cCI6MjA4NTE3NDQ1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.FAoB-44VZcGqDwaV-rMDUa-CbOjq2BrAYrT8ZuS_RTw?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=186018241" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am a very fortunate man of 83, deeply indebted to American medicine, still in possession of the marbles I need even though two weeks ago I took a bad fall in a hotel room in Nevada, wrecking my left shoulder and becoming a one-armed man in need of assistance to pull on my socks and zip my jeans, and the beauty of this is: gratitude &#8212; profound gratitude for the lunch at Docks restaurant in Manhattan in 1992 with Jenny Lind Nilsson who is still with me 34 years later.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Gratitude is highly appropriate at 83. I&#8217;ve been to see an orthopedic surgeon at the Hospital for Special Surgery and he plans to replace the shoulder next week and promises that with therapy it&#8217;ll work better than the old one. But mainly I am grateful for the love of this woman. I am keenly aware of it every day as she hovers over me. I was aware of it last Wednesday evening as she guided me up the steps of Carnegie Hall to a concert of symphonies by Mozart and Shostakovich by the Cleveland Orchestra.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="478" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2e498909-6924-44ef-acfe-1443f7bdb99f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/cc7dd8ce-ed59-4afe-8544-8d7cd849f088_594x394.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:394,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:478,&quot;bytes&quot;:214628,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186018241?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcc7dd8ce-ed59-4afe-8544-8d7cd849f088_594x394.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="478" height="317.05723905723903" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!BSkv!,w_478,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcc7dd8ce-ed59-4afe-8544-8d7cd849f088_594x394.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Jenny&#8217;s parents, Ray and Orrell, were serious pianists and brought up their four children to love classical music and play violin. And with cruel tyranny and vulgarity in power in Washington, D.C., and Minnesota, it feels like a moral duty to attend to great art. Though I must admit that I&#8217;m no fan of Shostakovich and parts of this Symphony, his 11</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span>, feel like a composition for 50 power saws and 14 pneumatic hammers. But I yield to my love&#8217;s better judgment.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A man walks up the steps with his left arm in a sling and a cane in his right hand and he feels the empathy of strangers, believe me. New York is a city of pedestrians and we pedestrians look out for each other. If I looked confused, someone would step up and offer to help. But we walk into the grand lobby and up to the hall and down the aisle, the musicians warming up on stage. Our seats are halfway down, on the right.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I remember a concert I did here in 1989 with Chet Atkins and Butch Thompson and the Hopeful Gospel Quartet. It was a dark time. Two years before, I had announced that I was ending my radio show, </span><em>A Prairie Home Companion</em><span>,</span><em> </em><span>and moving to Copenhagen to be a serious novelist, which Chet knew was a bad move &#8212; the show was at the peak of popularity &#8212; and he tried to tell me I could change my mind but I was too proud to back up. My son Jason played guitar on the show &#8212; he was 20, taking lessons from Chet &#8212; and he played a beautiful underscore under a poem I read by my teacher James Wright, about &#8220;the eyes of those two Indian ponies darken with kindness.&#8221; I sang bass in the Quartet, &#8220;The Lord Will Make a Way Somehow,&#8221; and did the </span><em>News from Lake Wobegon </em><span>and I remember thinking, </span><em>I do not want to give this up. </em><span>But I did, I walked off the cliff until two years later, I climbed back up.</span></p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/fea42aea-e767-44ba-a62b-c3faffebece2?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/PfYVhD2iQ00" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Mozart&#8217;s Symphony No. 41 in C Major, the &#8220;Jupiter,&#8221; was his last, a symphony he never heard, composed in the summer of 1788, three years before his death, along with two other symphonies, a piano sonata, other chamber works, by a 32-year-old genius deeply in debt, having lost the favor of his noble patrons, caring for his ailing wife, Constanze &#8212; it&#8217;s heartbreaking to hear the tenderness of the dances in the third movement, the inventiveness of the finale.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The audience adored the Shostakovich. They gave it a standing ovation and brought the maestro back for five bows and he gave bows to the brass, the English horn, the violas, the tympani, the cymbals, the strings, the winds, the harps. Shostakovich wrote it in honor of the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 but during intermission Jenny had shown me videos she&#8217;d taken of New Yorkers sliding Cedar Hill in Central Park, sliding on plastic saucers, pieces of cardboard, baking trays, roasting pans, skis, going off a jump and flying in the air and landing in a cloud of snow. Tyranny is brutal and blind to the goodness and delight of life that Mozart found even in his summer of distress. We have a democracy here, my friend. The vintage of the grapes of wrath has been trampled out. The king cannot lie repeatedly and nakedly and demand to be believed.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/81700565-c609-4555-8392-4002ddbd2eb4?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMTMwMTkyNTEzLjMuNDMwMjJkYTk0YjQ3OTk2MUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NjM0MjAxNCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3Njk4MDExOTYsImV4cCI6MTc3MjM5MzE5NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.WZ8UCmypKQAmTeFYAM_Cqp4HMmsGB3FR98G7fw4a4GU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 01.30.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGb3VyLWVuZW1pZXMtaGF2ZS1saWdodC1pbi10aGVpci1leWVzIiwicCI6MTg2MzQyMDE0LCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3Njk4MDExOTYsImV4cCI6MjA4NTM3NzE5NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.OhgjU8IHlAWyWnXzlud5yat8hcQu1bLJu_HiPdDZoAM?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=186342014&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg2MzQyMDE0LCJpYXQiOjE3Njk4MDExOTYsImV4cCI6MTc3MjM5MzE5NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.ZG0tCB5eJlfhrzOGVM4fhxiM5EWvBZGLC_e9wKfBiro" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Our enemies have light in their eyes</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 01.30.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-01-30T19:25:46.624Z">Jan 30</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.SWeYBTMRZewbrVfY2ofg2LvqsjEGJryjjF_ENRaTrGM?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=186342014" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;m an old man with a busted shoulder carried in a sling, and a shut-in, and the news is bad what with Minnesota, my home state, occupied by foreign mercenaries given license by our government to kill civilians in broad daylight and say it didn&#8217;t happen, so I&#8217;m feeling depressed, but probably it&#8217;s self-pity creeping in, which is disgusting so I called my cousin Betty who deals with a serious autoimmune disorder and also is managing a rural aid program in Uganda that runs a women&#8217;s health system and breeds imported goats that are immune, with native goats that are worm-resistant, and I told her, &#8220;I have no right to feel down compared to all you have to deal with,&#8221; and she said, &#8220;Suffering is not comparative.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="466" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/b60682ee-b3f2-4b12-8c63-55cbad6ece12?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/06a8f347-952e-411f-b42d-894120765bfc_594x395.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:395,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:466,&quot;bytes&quot;:212047,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186342014?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F06a8f347-952e-411f-b42d-894120765bfc_594x395.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="466" height="309.8821548821549" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!otHk!,w_466,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F06a8f347-952e-411f-b42d-894120765bfc_594x395.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">That&#8217;s a beautiful thing about Betty: she can come up with a crisp declarative sentence that clarifies everything.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s good to have heroes like her, especially at times like this when the Executive has taken on absolute power, to aggrandize himself and his family and wreak vengeance on his opponents in any way possible and make stupidity America&#8217;s official policy. Conservatism used to be about limitations on power.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I admire Congresswoman Ilhan Omar of Minneapolis, a frequent target of the Executive. Last Tuesday during a town hall in Minneapolis she was accosted by a man who yelled at her and flung some vile liquid and, what is remarkable, she didn&#8217;t throw up her hands and back away, she leaped at him and went ahead with her forum. She escaped from a civil war in Somalia when she was 12 and isn&#8217;t easily spooked. The Executive accused her of staging the attack. She said, &#8220;Trump&#8217;s obsession with me is beyond weird. The man is in need of serious help.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/50c53832-b327-4351-971e-0811b1aa540f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/afe5ede7-84fe-4598-8b14-a81f5d1f3730_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:177991,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186342014?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fafe5ede7-84fe-4598-8b14-a81f5d1f3730_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tG2m!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fafe5ede7-84fe-4598-8b14-a81f5d1f3730_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>It was a good day, Wednesday. The city was snowy and bright and my love and I got out for a 1:30 appointment with my neurologist, Dr. Fink, across the Park to the Upper East Side. Traffic was slow and then got slower at 81</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">st</sup><span> and York and turned into a parking lot, horns honking, and we arrived for the 1:30 at 2, and a gentleman in black hornrims and white lab coat came out and shook my hand and Jenny&#8217;s. &#8220;No problem,&#8221; he said.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Dr. Fink is exactly as you&#8217;d want a neurologist to be: calm. Analytical. I believe that if the building were shaken by an earthquake and plaster fell and the lights went out, he would still be focused on my problem and forming a diagnosis, and as men in yellow vests were leading us down dark stairwells with flashlights, he&#8217;d be writing a prescription.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I felt so reassured by his calm that I voted to stop at the Frick Collection, which Jenny loves, the big stone pile on 70</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span>, which the industrialist-financier Henry Clay Frick built in the Gilded Age to live in and to house his hoard of masterpieces. It&#8217;s quite a palace, and as an old Democrat I&#8217;m obliged to think of the workers he abused, but you have to admit the man had a good eye for great art. And many of the master works &#8212; by Rembrandt, Van Dyke, Vermeer &#8212; are portraits of wealthy aristocrats commissioned by the portraitees in all their finery &#8212; vanity portraits &#8212; that an old Democrat shouldn&#8217;t admire and yet, with all the silk and satin, there clearly is humanity in the faces of the rich &#8212; the enemy has soul, there is light in those eyes. They themselves are dead, eaten by worms, but the spirit is here, for all to see. Mr. Frick&#8217;s hope of resurrection.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/dc324d82-5ae3-4f40-89b5-f2bb87a08868?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d5c5ffdf-6b29-4692-94a7-15f9a94bec66_594x396.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:396,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:124890,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186342014?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd5c5ffdf-6b29-4692-94a7-15f9a94bec66_594x396.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.6666666666667" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QzB6!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd5c5ffdf-6b29-4692-94a7-15f9a94bec66_594x396.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The man lived in his palace for just five years and died at the age of 69. Living in luxury is no cure for poor medicine. In the century since, millions of people have come to his house and pondered great art and gone back out to face the world again. Big strong guys have been hired to guard art worth a fortune and in the course of walking the galleries they&#8217;ve become thoughtful and soft-spoken. If they saw you grab a Vermeer, they&#8217;d throw you down on the floor with a knee on your neck but they&#8217;d apologize afterward and render first aid if needed. I intend to go back and look at the Monets upstairs.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">That&#8217;s New York. Horrifying traffic, calm expertise, great beauty, all in one afternoon. 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjA0MTEwMjI3LjMuOTk3YjljZmRjMmU3NGY4N0BtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg2NzkyNzY5LCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MDIwMzM2MiwiZXhwIjoxNzcyNzk1MzYyLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.7-3Mca5_2LKRVBYD6nbgTOB-t-TV-pS4yuAT_LwMLEc" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.02.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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Midwestern maxims to remember</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.02.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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datetime="2026-02-04T11:06:45.056Z">Feb 4</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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Happiness with no discernible cause. Maybe it&#8217;s caused by sobriety, maybe it&#8217;s a signal of dementia, maybe it&#8217;s the realization that, despite my wayward ways, God loves me and I am finally profoundly grateful.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">When I was a kid and feeling oppressed, misunderstood, cheated of life&#8217;s pleasures, uninvited to cool kids&#8217; parties, my mother liked to say to me, &#8220;What&#8217;s the matter? Did the dog pee on your cinnamon toast?&#8221; And it always made me happy. Still does.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/b93a5e50-dfdb-42a5-a433-5c2ab5cd372a?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1ef02f93-6a0d-4452-8e7b-394362078a15_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:187083,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186792769?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ef02f93-6a0d-4452-8e7b-394362078a15_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="315.56353591160223" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SLeP!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ef02f93-6a0d-4452-8e7b-394362078a15_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I feel unreasonably happy after taking a bad fall in January and crunching my left shoulder so my arm hangs in a sling, which makes taking a shower rather tricky and I must blow myself dry with a hairdryer, and pulling on my underpants is a real feat &#8212; a person could charge admission and sell popcorn and let people shoot video &#8212; but still I require assistance from the love of my life to pull on the T-shirt and buckle my jeans. Instead of a sex object suddenly I&#8217;m an invalid. It&#8217;s a comedy act and we humorists can appreciate a slight to our dignity. It comes with the job.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She and I are crazy about each other sometimes and the rest of the time we suit each other very well. She is a perfectionist and I do the best I can under the circumstances. She has anxieties. I don&#8217;t because my vision is poor.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>That&#8217;s one reason I live in New York now: I&#8217;m a dangerous driver with poor peripheral vision and there&#8217;s a lot of periphery in Minnesota so for public safety I live in the canyons of Manhattan within three blocks of three subway lines that I can board and ride downtown and be no threat to anyone. In Minnesota, a non-driver is by definition disabled. I live in an apartment building with doormen who shovel the sidewalks after a snowfall. I hear stories of old men in Minnesota who perished while heaving heavy shovelfuls of wet snow up onto eight-foot drifts &#8212; what a ridiculous thing, to give your life for a clear sidewalk, a victim of the male work ethic. Hire a guy to come plow it for thirty bucks and live another five or six years, go to some ball games, read Dickens, buy the French Pinot Noir rather than the Wisconsin. Make love to your wife and quote Mary Oliver: </span><em>You do not have to be good: just let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. </em><span>Sing the Everlys&#8217; </span><em>Each time we meet, love. I find complete love. Without your sweet love, what would life be?</em></p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/0328e531-994c-4d56-afdd-3ebc8da27f62?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/IeRPr-zKNwI" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I feel bad about being in New York with Trump&#8217;s mercenaries snatching presumed foreigners off the streets in Minnesota &#8212; it feels like desertion in the face of duty, this is Germany 1937 &#8212; but an old one-armed man is nobody you&#8217;d want with you on the picket line.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I will always be a Midwesterner at heart. In addition to the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, the two great commandments, I try to live by certain simple principles:</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">There are worse things than being wrong. Being a jerk, for one.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Nobody is born smart.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Listen too hard and you&#8217;ll always hear something bad about yourself.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The way to get something done is to do it.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The big thieves hang the little ones.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s a stupid goose who goes to the fox&#8217;s church.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Don&#8217;t cut the branch you&#8217;re standing on.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And my favorite: If you didn&#8217;t want to go to Chicago, why&#8217;d you get on the train? That one sums it up pretty well. Trump is no mystery. He&#8217;s a tabloid playboy turned playground bully who makes up his view of reality as it suits him and for whom public service and private profit are one and the same. He ran for office as a disrupter and his supporters got what they voted for, a trashman who is trashing the schools, medical research, foreign aid, higher education, our reputation among our allies, and the Department of Justice. If you order leftover sardines, don&#8217;t hope for lobster ceviche.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="403" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/48a0aa8f-a62b-4067-a648-1427d2ca9588?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b0b73e66-0f31-422d-8da9-9e4f561f6780_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:512,&quot;width&quot;:683,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:403,&quot;bytes&quot;:185078,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/186792769?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb0b73e66-0f31-422d-8da9-9e4f561f6780_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="403" height="302.10248901903367" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ab_n!,w_403,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb0b73e66-0f31-422d-8da9-9e4f561f6780_683x512.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>A gaggle of geese is packed into the First Fox sanctuary and in proceed Bishop Buzzard and Monsignor Mongoose and Archbishop Aardvark and a choir of coyotes and there&#8217;s a loud </span><em>ker-CHUNK</em><span> as the wardens, two wolves, bar the doors and suddenly all is clear. The preachers promised an end to all suffering and sorrow and they are about to deliver on their promise.</span></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=186792769&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg2NzkyNzY5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzAyMDMzNjIsImV4cCI6MTc3Mjc5NTM2MiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.72606F1jXSR0tC_6JEzieYPEFtOoPGSWt_adNCFTijk&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><em>That Time of Year</em><span> blends wit, warmth and wisdom as Garrison Keillor tells the unforgettable story of his journey from small-town Minnesota to national radio fame.</span></h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI 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div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjA2MTEwMjMyLjMuY2M0ZDA2OWY1NGU1Y2VkZUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NzA0NDE4NSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzAzNzYwNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3Mjk2ODA3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.girabL92Fk5_3yOK-KlqGLPjM1hQHzU83a5vkU5TC2w" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.06.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=187044185&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg3MDQ0MTg1LCJpYXQiOjE3NzAzNzYwNzMsImV4cCI6MTc3Mjk2ODA3MywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.LuJLkzkvKWLHoKtdPNBn1dHG6vd81kQ17S3dzP2WKb8" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The tyranny of obscene vulgarity</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.06.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-06T11:02:31.836Z">Feb 6</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Once, years ago, a person awoke and came in the kitchen where perhaps one person was eager to engage with you, your spouse, better half, paramour, soulmate, main squeeze. Words were exchanged. A newspaper lay on the table and you read the headline, </span><em>Talks Resume in Effort to Reach Settlement.</em><span> Eventually, offspring would appear, the mood would darken, conflicts arise and then subside. The phone hung on the wall and it did not ring. Social interactions developed within familiar confines.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/35b0b5c2-0e2a-45ee-a889-3b97d3af2133?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1165c167-3540-43fd-9cb3-b587fc893838_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:115985,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187044185?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1165c167-3540-43fd-9cb3-b587fc893838_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="315.56353591160223" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Tbg7!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1165c167-3540-43fd-9cb3-b587fc893838_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>This has now changed, thanks to electronics. The laptop contains numerous newspapers, enough to engage you until noon, and also search engines to serve your random curiosity so you can read about Stephen Miller and Joseph Goebbels and </span><em>The House of Seven Gables </em><span>and you look up and it&#8217;s 2 p.m. and you&#8217;ve missed your Zoom meeting and you can&#8217;t remember what you&#8217;ve been reading for five hours.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Your cellphone is packed with emails and voicemail and texts &#8212; thousands of fundraising campaigns share their mailing lists and if you&#8217;ve given $10 to one in the past ten years, you now have a hundred or more awaiting you, which you can easily identify by the first few words:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>I&#8217;m sure you are as alarmed as I &#8230; A recent poll shows &#8230; I hate to have to ask but this is important &#8230; Hello. It&#8217;s Jane Fonda. We have come to a critical point in our campaign &#8230;</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A massive info-overload has crept into American daily life, tidal waves of distraction, and it feels beneficial, being able to google freely and take in so much and learn new things, but there is a price to be paid and one is memory loss. The emperor is able to turn the page and create dramatic diversions and the overload washes away the story: on January 6, 2021, he encouraged his mob to assault the Capitol to reverse the election and days later he condemned them for it and four years later, reelected, he pardoned them, calling it &#8220;a day of love.&#8221; It defies credibility. And this is how, though unpopular he be, he dominates our daily life, wretched and reprehensible as he is, we see his face in every clod and hear his name in every expulsion of gas.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/3ced44cc-8470-4a9c-b00a-9abbecdc6eba?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5ac4c5a1-0c44-49d3-9fbd-fd31dce9e4c2_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:143629,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187044185?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5ac4c5a1-0c44-49d3-9fbd-fd31dce9e4c2_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tjre!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5ac4c5a1-0c44-49d3-9fbd-fd31dce9e4c2_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I used to play on a softball team and after a game we guys would gather for a beer and engage in guy talk, which included some griping and pontification but focused more on telling stories and jokes. The jokes would come in a series &#8212; </span><em>The man walked into the bar with his hands full of dog turds and said, &#8220;Look what I almost stepped in!&#8221; </em><span>would lead to a string of The Man Walked Into The Bar jokes, or there&#8217;d be lightbulb jokes or Ole and Lena jokes &#8212; but the high point was the stories. Some people can tell them and others can&#8217;t, and out of the twelve of us, there were two, maybe three, who could.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Stories needed to be in the first person, have the ring of truth, and not be self-aggrandizing. The Scoutmaster with his troop on a canoe trip and one Scout is unable to move his bowels out in the woods and needs to be encouraged and defended against bullies but finally, with the help of a stool softener, he takes a crap but is too shy to come back to the campsite for toilet paper and so wipes himself with leaves and of all the leaves God has created, the Scout chooses the wrong ones and needs the Scoutmaster&#8217;s personal care. The trip is canceled and they head for the starting point and the Scoutmaster is suddenly overcome by tears. Blinded by tears. Poison ivy in his eyes. He is a helpless passenger lying in the canoe and the bullies are in charge and there is nothing he can do about it.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My softball days came to an end. I got very busy. I had employees and colleagues but a different protocol was in effect. And women were in the picture and the strictness of feminist propriety. The ease of male camaraderie was gone.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I miss those days and now I&#8217;m trying to relive them, telling jokes, stories, no mention of the emperor at all except that he posted the Seven Commandments in the Oval Office omitting &#8220;Thou Shalt Not Steal,&#8221; &#8220;Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery&#8221; and &#8220;Thou Shall Not Lie&#8221; so it wouldn&#8217;t create a hostile work environment.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjA2MTEwMjMyLjMuY2M0ZDA2OWY1NGU1Y2VkZUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NzA0NDE4NSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJib3R0b20iLCJpYXQiOjE3NzAzNzYwNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3Mjk2ODA3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.j6oQ4okM6vnQGn6Ls9N57dNnIifov665aiEIlzLVqRk" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" src="https://email.mg-d1.substack.com/o/eJxEkF2u4yAMRldzeZsIiMnPA2uJDDgZVAKVgY6y-1HaSvf1WDo6_jw2Ogpf9llqE8GOq5OLnwRZNc9ynCc5G0EnxrQdlImxUdiw_V5Bykn8tUSwKK93DQYWh7h4cAbQzPuqgwwgotVST1LLSSmpRz2Mg_cQ5LTuBsh4CvQD8jz-BDXU7mpD_xh8OUWs2870TrCNO4m7dMMeImVPll7EV8lfHINVyywB1GI-pF1Pspn-1UStEYtnd5sv59lzbNdGGV2i8BV3l6LHFku-RXrV9_NsudYfkL5kxsB05ZJCfafV7kI5MWZ7IHOsJT8oplRYtM-evRLfqtksah1hEi-r_wcAAP__qyV79A"></body></html>f03b9d06-036c-11f1-9838-0a39ee06db20Fri, 06 Feb 2026 10:03:04 GMT2026-02-07 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>An old man's winter night</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjA3MTYwMTUzLjMuZjY1NGZjZGM4ZjVkNGVlNkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJ0IjoicG9kY2FzdCIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MDQ4MDI3NSwiZXhwIjoxNzczMDcyMjc1LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.7y1JK4AysoP63ORtxIQ164lUChs4eUWkH9Yd2FUTvj8" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">Listen now (7 mins) | Podcast 141 - "A Times story reporting that college students in a writing course do better when they go offline for a month makes perfect sense to me..."</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="overflow:hidden;white-space:normal;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_show_logo#play" data-native="true" style="width:56px;height:56px;"><img class="pencraft pc-reset outline-detail-vcQLyr pub-logo-m0IFm6 static-XUAQjT" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tQLF!,w_112,h_112,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36e0cfb4-eb90-44c5-8785-61eb9caf2eaa_1540x1540.png" width="56" height="56" alt="Garrison Keillor and Friends" name="Garrison Keillor and Friends" style="text-decoration: unset;list-style: none;outline: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);outline-offset: -1px;border-radius: 8px;box-sizing: border-box;background-color: rgb(255,255,255);margin: 0;flex-shrink: 0;max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a></td><td width="16" style="min-width:16px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><a class="pencraft pc-opacity-80 pc-minWidth-0 pc-reset overflow-hidden-WdpwT6 ellipsis-Jb8om8 color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_show_title#play" style="list-style: none;opacity: .8;min-width: 0;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;overflow: hidden;text-overflow: ellipsis;white-space: nowrap;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;">Garrison Keillor and Friends</a></td></tr><tr><td><a class="pencraft pc-minWidth-0 pc-reset overflow-hidden-WdpwT6 ellipsis-Jb8om8 color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-text-qe4AeH size-15-Psle70 weight-semibold-uqA4FV reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;min-width: 0;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;overflow: hidden;text-overflow: ellipsis;margin: 0;font-size: 15px;line-height: 20px;font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 600;max-width: 420px;white-space: normal" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_post_title#play">An old man's winter night</a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="16"><td></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:center;white-space:nowrap;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-regular-mUq6Gb transform-uppercase-yKDgcq nowrap-QngyoB reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_duration#play" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;text-transform: uppercase;white-space: nowrap;letter-spacing: .2px;">0:00</a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;width:100%;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_progress_bar#play" style="display:block;background-color:rgba(255,255,255,0.4);border-radius:9999px;height:4px;width:100%;"></a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;white-space:nowrap;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-regular-mUq6Gb transform-uppercase-yKDgcq nowrap-QngyoB reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_duration#play" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;text-transform: uppercase;white-space: nowrap;letter-spacing: .2px;">7:18</a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td width="16" style="min-width:16px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_play_button#play" data-testid="email-audio-play-button"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x5iK!,w_48,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FPlayIconRounded%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D48%26fill%3Drgba(255%252C255%252C255%252C0.8)%26stroke%3Dnone%26strokeWidth%3D3.6" width="24" height="24" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 24px" alt=""></a></td><td width="4" style="min-width:4px;"></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></a><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="width:100%;"><tbody><tr><td><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;height: 16px">&nbsp;</div></td></tr><tr height="8"><td></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="width:100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;width:100%;"><table class="fullWidth-mgXGs7" role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;"><tbody><tr><td class="fullWidth-mgXGs7 emailButtonTd-o2ymya priority_primary-vWRHI0" align="center" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;border-radius: 8px;background-color: #930e0f;"><a class="fullWidth-mgXGs7 emailButtonA-Ktpg7h" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y&utm_content=listen_now_button" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-size: 14px;font-weight: 600;letter-spacing: -.15px;border-radius: 8px;padding: 12px 24px;line-height: 1;text-decoration: none;display: inline-block;color: #ffffff;border: none;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iFbw!,w_32,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FHeadphonesIcon%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D32%26stroke%3D%2523ffffff%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="16" height="16" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 16px" alt=""><span style="margin-left:8px;vertical-align:middle;">Listen now</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="8"><td></td></tr><tr><td><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;height: 16px">&nbsp;</div></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA0ODAyNzQsImV4cCI6MTc3MzA3MjI3NCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.VrHIAkzHa7WEBZ4aFEEVQ3M6CKvspzwZtFLm5PCY35Y" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">An old man's winter night</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">Podcast 141 - "A Times story reporting that college students in a writing course do better when they go offline for a month makes perfect sense to me..."</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-07T16:01:52.867Z">Feb 7</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=183968162&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTgzOTY4MTYyLCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MDQ4MDI3NCwiZXhwIjoxNzczMDcyMjc0LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.rXWugJ8ke_4SJZqFwnm67GLPVW6IiVZcWksJVfD5Kg8&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 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Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;"><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;margin-top: 0;"><span>A </span><em>Times </em><span>story reporting that college students in a writing course do better when they go offline for a month makes perfect sense to me, same as if you say a writer does better at a laptop in the public library than shnockered on a sailboat in a storm, but the idea of persuading students to go offline strikes me as quixotic, like Amish evangelism or banning the use of chairs. The internet is here and we&#8217;re all caught up in it.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">l was in my 50s when the World Wide Web came in. Its advent was not a big event to me; I was still working on a manual Underwood typewriter. I have a clearer memory of seeing Albert Woolson, the last living Civil War veteran, in a parade in downtown Minneapolis. I remember my uncle Jim farming with horses and Fibber McGee and Molly on the radio. And I remember boredom, which has mostly disappeared in America except perhaps among lighthouse keepers or attendants in parking ramps or felons in solitary confinement. And maybe imprisonment offline would be considered cruel and inhumane in a court of law.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Growing up pre-Google in a small Midwestern town among taciturn people, I experienced boredom intensely and it led to reading and in due course to writing. I took up haiku:</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em>Three blackbirds shrieking</em></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em>As my old black cat calmly</em></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><em>Squats in the sandpile.</em></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">This was enough to amuse me back then. And because I could write a 17-syllable haiku and had good handwriting and spoke in complete sentences, I was considered gifted.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I considered becoming a poet but I wanted to earn money and not live up over my parents&#8217; garage so I went into public radio where, thank goodness, the audience was made up of reference librarians, caregivers, birdwatchers, organic gardeners, people who were spiritual but not religious, people who enjoyed the enigmatic more than actual entertainment. I shouldn&#8217;t brag but I can be more enigmatic than anyone I know.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I got a reputation as an artistic storyteller, which, believe me, there is no such thing &#8212; storytelling is not an art, it&#8217;s a craft, like plumbing, and either the water comes out of the tap or it doesn&#8217;t. But back in the Boring Eighties, enigma was more appreciated. And now, there&#8217;s the smartphone offering endless entertainment, videos, YouTube, GPS telling you exactly where on Earth you are and how far to the nearest comedy club, yoga studio, liquor store and not just any old liquor store but one that offers designer beer with floral notes of marigolds sprinkled with saffron playing off earthy vanilla with rustic bitterness in the finish. We didn&#8217;t have that back in my time, just cold beer.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I try to explain this to young people, the fact that we didn&#8217;t have soft butter then, butter aerated to make it spreadable, just little hard bricks of butter that when you tried to spread it on toast, you tore the toast apart, or else you scraped shavings of butter off and by the time the toast was buttered it was cold.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Back in the day, before &#8220;google&#8221; became a verb, we had to memorize information, it wasn&#8217;t readily available, such as verb tenses or state capitals or the nine planets &#8212; </span><em>My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas</em><span> &#8212; Mercury Venus Earth Mars Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto &#8212; and a boy named Ralph Krause liked to ask Mr. Jensen our science teacher, How big is Uranus? Is there life on Uranus? It was a high point of science class, in which high points were few and far between.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I grew up under the heavy burden of Boy Scouts, which I believe has mostly disappeared, done in by social media. We had cruel Scoutmasters who took us winter camping in the North Woods, believing adversity stimulates intelligence. I&#8217;m not so sure. I associate intelligence with staying warm.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I look at politics, the regressive MAGA right (working hard to horrify the genteel left), which has elected nihilists in golf pants who exercise their whimsical powers to serve 3% of the people 75% of the time, and it&#8217;s easy to despair but if you go offline and wander through crowds of Christmas shoppers, you sense the spirit of kindness and gaiety of our people.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;margin-bottom: 0;">Old men dozing off at the switch need to be shoveled into the Home for the Hopeless and let the young and conscientious come in to repair the damage. 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjExMTEwMTA3LjMuOGMyZmRjOGVlMzFjNzlkZUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4NzUzNzAzOCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA4MDc4NjcsImV4cCI6MTc3MzM5OTg2NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.UycRVbPk7RyIPoM4dkUOnn1WCFyhrWbrKPWXGPUUKsU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.09.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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thinking it over</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.09.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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datetime="2026-02-11T11:01:07.107Z">Feb 11</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.nD3Y0hYjs5XC33Jm7yS_POCXrMJDaUcgY73kwdBKj28?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=187537038" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I grew up in the Fifties, during the administration of Dwight Eisenhower, a man admired by my father and uncles, a Kansan, a victorious general, and it&#8217;s hard to imagine Eisenhower holding up funding for a crucial rail tunnel under the Hudson unless Penn Station be renamed for him. Or sending his son-in-law on diplomatic missions to Middle East sovereignties in which he is deeply invested. Or masked men in military gear conducting dragnets in American cities, rounding up whomever they wish without warrants. This is a considerable change from then until now and it&#8217;s not about electronics. It&#8217;s about e-t-h-i-c-s.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="430" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/6d9e44fe-8aa9-46da-a11a-82ad6bccae65?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/3fde2a63-8f5b-4da8-b28d-6f8e0e493c0b_594x437.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:437,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:430,&quot;bytes&quot;:113070,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187537038?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3fde2a63-8f5b-4da8-b28d-6f8e0e493c0b_594x437.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="430" height="316.3468013468013" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hW8j!,w_430,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3fde2a63-8f5b-4da8-b28d-6f8e0e493c0b_594x437.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">But the Current Guy says, &#8220;Nobody cares about that.&#8221; So one can imagine him deciding the November elections are unreliable and postponing them until 2028 or sometime when his party can be certain of the outcome. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that he won&#8217;t and see if you believe it.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Meanwhile a judge has stuck his finger in the dike and held off Trump Station on 34</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> Street in Manhattan, at least until a higher court lets indifference be its guide and allows monarchial narcissism to have its way, maybe allowing the state to become Trumpsylvania and the city be Donaldelphia. What&#8217;s the problem?</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I would just note that Fiorello LaGuardia became an airport because he was a genuine hero, a Republican-Fusion independent elected to three straight terms as mayor, beating out the ward bosses of Tammany Hall, a beloved short rotund guy in a rumpled suit and black Stetson, who set about clearing out slums and building public housing. He became a successful Broadway musical, &#8220;Fiorello!&#8221; And he was instrumental in expanding the old airport, known as New York Municipal, to accommodate big jets.</p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/e3d1b9a5-d3ae-4c8d-aea4-777211bd98df?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/tvN1sfwgSgk" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Grand Central Station is known as such because it is rather magnificent and stands in Midtown Manhattan. If it were renamed Melania, most New Yorkers would stick with the old name.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">What we know as JFK was popularly known as Idlewild but one month after President Kennedy was assassinated, it was named for him and that name stuck. The Kennedy Center is still that; nobody calls it anything else except people who are paid to.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">But the Current Guy is bold and knows no bounds. W.B. Yeats described him perfectly:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">In one year he has replaced Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion with Disinformation, Executive Egotism, and Invincible Ignorance.</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Were Lincoln standing with us today He would look around with dismay At the mad King Lear Ruling down here, But in Washington, not in a play.</em><span> </span></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">When some of our Olympic skiers said they were troubled by the ICE maneuvers and other political tides, the Current Guy suggested they move to another country. He&#8217;s the one in the wrong country: he should try North Korea.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Yeats&#8217;s words from 1919 seem even truer today:</p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.</em></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Our indifference is due to the fact that life is pretty good. You can order stuff online and it&#8217;ll come the next day. Your little smartphone contains Bad Bunny and also Brahms&#8217; Second Symphony in D Major, take your pick. We have boutique beer now, which combines &#8220;floral notes of marigolds sprinkled with saffron playing off earthy vanilla with rustic bitterness in the finish.&#8221; We never had that in beer before, just cold beer.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/28f18261-fa1c-4efa-ac42-363d3ea45f3f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f082b3ef-54ca-484c-816e-d43a5e1aed90_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:242678,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187537038?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff082b3ef-54ca-484c-816e-d43a5e1aed90_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!9hcP!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff082b3ef-54ca-484c-816e-d43a5e1aed90_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Yes, there are too many passwords and PIN numbers. But you walk into a men&#8217;s room and pee in a urinal and step back and it automatically flushes. You feel like a prince. You drive and a woman you&#8217;re not married to tells you when to turn right or go straight and if you don&#8217;t, there is no recrimination, she just recalculates the route.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I believe in cheerfulness. There are bastards in the world: don&#8217;t let them get you down. That is how cruelty and ignorance work, by discouraging the rest of us. There is evil in the world, outright evil, not mere political disagreement, but craven cruel corrupt evil, and thanks to this many of my Unitarian friends are rethinking their longstanding disbelief in eternal damnation and imagining men with blank gazes baking on hot sulfurous coals. Progress is being made.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=187537038&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg3NTM3MDM4LCJpYXQiOjE3NzA4MDc4NjYsImV4cCI6MTc3MzM5OTg2NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.spwiUoGNSCouG2EzqhFudDol2JG5KJeNVWIBYBtm6DY&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Delight friends near and far by sending them notes written in these eight illustrated friendship sonnet cards by Garrison Keillor.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjEzMTEwMjQ4LjMuMTNjNzU2NDRmYTRlMTU1Y0BtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4Nzc4MjUzMCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA5ODEzNTAsImV4cCI6MTc3MzU3MzM1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.fhM3PV1eEK9kdQOMizuZRdq95SYDASXHX8BBZJYq2Vc" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.12.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGZW5vdWdoLWFib3V0LXlvdS1sZXRzLXRhbGstYWJvdXQtMWEwIiwicCI6MTg3NzgyNTMwLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NzA5ODEzNTAsImV4cCI6MjA4NjU1NzM1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.EhB6qFtShe0bJyYuS6zIORb5Pd5MFE6R5vrMS5FQVRk?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=187782530&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg3NzgyNTMwLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA5ODEzNTAsImV4cCI6MTc3MzU3MzM1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.pJi0yZIzBzZEEjZppigAzDJ0BytyBR0esdte7abhhqM" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Enough about you, let's talk about me</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.12.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-13T11:02:48.375Z">Feb 13</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=187782530&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg3NzgyNTMwLCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MDk4MTM1MCwiZXhwIjoxNzczNTczMzUwLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.WPyXN5UQjq2ZWKMcJvcCBFpCitoCaVHMsDgMZGgTbig&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: 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none;">Share</span></a></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Have I told you about my recent shoulder replacement surgery? Or in my concern about declining math scores did I forget to mention it?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I busted the shoulder in a fall: the force of gravity &#8212; you think you&#8217;ve got it figured out and you&#8217;re distracted by something and suddenly it&#8217;s the farce of gravity, you become a physics experiment.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I stuck out my arm to break my fall and instead it broke my shoulder.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/869bb353-14f1-4d08-a11f-866566ad059e?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c531410f-a4f7-49fd-84c1-e4d84b73dbf6_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:178902,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187782530?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc531410f-a4f7-49fd-84c1-e4d84b73dbf6_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!fZKY!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc531410f-a4f7-49fd-84c1-e4d84b73dbf6_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>What you don&#8217;t know until you bust a shoulder and spend a few weeks with your arm in a sling is how it sends out a geezer alert to everyone within a hundred feet: </span><em>Beep beep beep beep beep, Potential Collapsant Ahead, Be Prepared To Save From Injury. </em><span>People edge closer to you and start pointing out uneven pavement, wrinkles in rugs, banana peels, roller skates, curbage, candle drippings, grommets, patches of ice, and at first this seems very kind and thoughtful and then it feels like overcrowding. People are quick to grab your elbow and in my case, it&#8217;s often the elbow attached to the busted shoulder and suddenly I come out with an unintentional shriek and traumatize small children.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>So I stay at home for weeks with my devoted wife watching me very closely and checking my vital signs such as respiration, eye movements, eye-hand coordination, vocal sounds, and of course the passage of gas. Something about a violent fall loosens the musculature of the digestive tract, especially the sphincter muscles that are particularly tight in us Episcopalians. But after a bad fall you&#8217;re likely, as you lean down to pick up your hymnal, to emit a low chord something like the bass trombone trio from Wagner&#8217;s &#8220;Die G&#246;tterd&#228;mmerung&#8221; and you can feel people in your pew thinking, </span><em>G&#246;tterd&#228;mm! Pew. </em><span>And your beloved moves a few feet away as if she were only an acquaintance. Once there was a certain chemistry between you, but it was not this particular chemistry.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">So I&#8217;ve stopped going to church, which is no big deal since the busted shoulder has severely cut into my ability to sin boldly and effectively. Pretty much all I have left is Envy. What used to be Sloth is now called Recovery. Pride is gone now that I&#8217;ve become damaged goods. I used to be proud of my Lust but once your lover becomes needed to pull on your trousers and zip the zipper, Lust becomes a mere memory like peach flamb&#233; or Humanities 101. I come from devoted evangelicals who believed in hell and damnation and not an Anglican hell, which is just an endless vestry meeting, but a real one with scorpions eating your flesh and your hair on fire. These days that seems rather unattainable.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/a57e4bfc-92f4-4c0d-b299-6e5180b10bc0?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1b75ecea-2cd5-4a5b-9564-f07765b798c3_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:238104,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187782530?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1b75ecea-2cd5-4a5b-9564-f07765b798c3_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!EolW!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1b75ecea-2cd5-4a5b-9564-f07765b798c3_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I stand in the shower and my love says, &#8220;Let me scrub your back.&#8221; But like every 83-year-old man, I prefer to shower with no spectators viewing my wrinkly rear end and crinkly chest and baggy biceps. I prefer to encounter her when the lights are low and she can imagine me as the lithe specimen of manhood I used to be, not this poster child for the Importance of Daily Exercise. And after the shower she says, &#8220;Let me help you with your underwear.&#8221; All my adult life, I&#8217;ve stood naked on one foot, pulling on my briefs, left foot first, then the right. It was easy. Now it seems dangerous.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;m not begging for sympathy. There are many worse things than busting your shoulder, such as being Stephen Miller for one thing, the ICEman responsible for snatching small children off playgrounds and sending them to detention centers, and in 2029, where will Miller go to find employment? Do Amazon or Nvidia have an Abduction Division? I doubt it. No, Mr. Miller will have to take work as a men&#8217;s washroom attendant at JFK&#8217;s International Terminal, wiping up waste products of men with foreign accents.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="443" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/6c842af3-701f-4f08-86ed-cc855b0bb03a?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5213033d-f1fb-457b-8f7d-585a46089d90_701x498.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:498,&quot;width&quot;:701,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:443,&quot;bytes&quot;:203728,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/187782530?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5213033d-f1fb-457b-8f7d-585a46089d90_701x498.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="443" height="314.7132667617689" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gbRA!,w_443,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5213033d-f1fb-457b-8f7d-585a46089d90_701x498.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Meanwhile I look at pictures of him and see in his eyes what is on his mind. He can hear scorpions whispering his name. When Stephen is done cleaning urinals and goes to his eternal reward, he will meet Heinrich Himmler who was the Stephen Miller of the Third Reich. They will have a long time to talk things over. Steve asks, &#8220;Where did you go wrong, Heinie?&#8221; And HH says, &#8220;Should&#8217;ve had a friendlier name. Like Stephen Miller. But not M&#252;ller. Miller. 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjEzMTEwMjQ4LjMuMTNjNzU2NDRmYTRlMTU1Y0BtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4Nzc4MjUzMCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJib3R0b20iLCJpYXQiOjE3NzA5ODEzNTAsImV4cCI6MTc3MzU3MzM1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.BpXKJWCNzPreOFiz64U-3WtM0mmYwGVJzdirIiLc-Mw" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" 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auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } 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650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjE0MTYwMTAxLjMuZDUxYWZjNzA4MjUyZjgxZEBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJ0IjoicG9kY2FzdCIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MTA4NDkzNCwiZXhwIjoxNzczNjc2OTM0LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.Az0mJGy0ydQ46TcjJnquNrB_T622mrBTqErBQzRem1o" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">Listen now (7 mins) | Podcast 141 - As a writer, you spend a good deal of time looking at the wall. Or you lie on the floor and gaze at the ceiling. Neither of these practices is conducive to becoming a charming person.</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; 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&#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" 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border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="overflow:hidden;white-space:normal;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_show_logo#play" data-native="true" style="width:56px;height:56px;"><img class="pencraft pc-reset outline-detail-vcQLyr pub-logo-m0IFm6 static-XUAQjT" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!tQLF!,w_112,h_112,c_fill,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F36e0cfb4-eb90-44c5-8785-61eb9caf2eaa_1540x1540.png" width="56" height="56" alt="Garrison Keillor and Friends" name="Garrison Keillor and Friends" style="text-decoration: unset;list-style: none;outline: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);outline-offset: -1px;border-radius: 8px;box-sizing: border-box;background-color: rgb(255,255,255);margin: 0;flex-shrink: 0;max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a></td><td width="16" style="min-width:16px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><a class="pencraft pc-opacity-80 pc-minWidth-0 pc-reset overflow-hidden-WdpwT6 ellipsis-Jb8om8 color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_show_title#play" style="list-style: none;opacity: .8;min-width: 0;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;overflow: hidden;text-overflow: ellipsis;white-space: nowrap;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;">Garrison Keillor and Friends</a></td></tr><tr><td><a class="pencraft pc-minWidth-0 pc-reset overflow-hidden-WdpwT6 ellipsis-Jb8om8 color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-text-qe4AeH size-15-Psle70 weight-semibold-uqA4FV reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;min-width: 0;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;overflow: hidden;text-overflow: ellipsis;margin: 0;font-size: 15px;line-height: 20px;font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 600;max-width: 420px;white-space: normal" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_post_title#play">Gearing up to go on the road</a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="16"><td></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:center;white-space:nowrap;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-regular-mUq6Gb transform-uppercase-yKDgcq nowrap-QngyoB reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_duration#play" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;text-transform: uppercase;white-space: nowrap;letter-spacing: .2px;">0:00</a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;width:100%;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_progress_bar#play" style="display:block;background-color:rgba(255,255,255,0.4);border-radius:9999px;height:4px;width:100%;"></a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;white-space:nowrap;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-white-rGgpJs line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-regular-mUq6Gb transform-uppercase-yKDgcq nowrap-QngyoB reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_duration#play" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(255,255,255);text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;text-transform: uppercase;white-space: nowrap;letter-spacing: .2px;">7:02</a></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td width="16" style="min-width:16px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:center;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=play_card_play_button#play" data-testid="email-audio-play-button"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x5iK!,w_48,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FPlayIconRounded%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D48%26fill%3Drgba(255%252C255%252C255%252C0.8)%26stroke%3Dnone%26strokeWidth%3D3.6" width="24" height="24" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 24px" alt=""></a></td><td width="4" style="min-width:4px;"></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></a><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="width:100%;"><tbody><tr><td><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;height: 16px">&nbsp;</div></td></tr><tr height="8"><td></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="width:100%;"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;width:100%;"><table class="fullWidth-mgXGs7" role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;"><tbody><tr><td class="fullWidth-mgXGs7 emailButtonTd-o2ymya priority_primary-vWRHI0" align="center" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;border-radius: 8px;background-color: #930e0f;"><a class="fullWidth-mgXGs7 emailButtonA-Ktpg7h" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=podcast-email&play_audio=true&r=1952ky&utm_campaign=email-play-on-substack&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4&utm_content=listen_now_button" style="box-sizing: border-box;width: 100%;min-height: 40px;padding-left: 0;padding-right: 0;font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-size: 14px;font-weight: 600;letter-spacing: -.15px;border-radius: 8px;padding: 12px 24px;line-height: 1;text-decoration: none;display: inline-block;color: #ffffff;border: none;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!iFbw!,w_32,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FHeadphonesIcon%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D32%26stroke%3D%2523ffffff%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="16" height="16" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 16px" alt=""><span style="margin-left:8px;vertical-align:middle;">Listen now</span></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="8"><td></td></tr><tr><td><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;height: 16px">&nbsp;</div></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=184087434&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg0MDg3NDM0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzEwODQ5MzMsImV4cCI6MTc3MzY3NjkzMywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.EWG6lqTcH1Q2naHbiBga1J-DR3l_kkTru3b0HIaCQV4" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Gearing up to go on the road</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">Podcast 141 - As a writer, you spend a good deal of time looking at the wall. Or you lie on the floor and gaze at the ceiling. Neither of these practices is conducive to becoming a charming person.</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-14T16:01:00.952Z">Feb 14</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 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.settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjE4MTEwMzEwLjMuMTEwNWUxYzc4NDhhZTBjYkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4ODMxODA1OSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzE0MTMwMDYsImV4cCI6MTc3NDAwNTAwNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.dUm1fHglsBWo36GBRULKstp0KzZ9gV98bpn_RVqbGlY" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.17.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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problems turn out to be gifts</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.17.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-18T11:03:10.057Z">Feb 18</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.XOOAXSn4D9PPqquLk9giBemk3A2h4VZ4cfNtDy38-ps?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=188318059" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I had a dramatic dream last week, a dream about a man in a white suit twisting my damaged left arm, the one I&#8217;m still carrying in a sling after breaking the shoulder, and in the dream he was causing excruciating pain as I cried out in agony and he sneered at me, &#8220;How&#8217;s that? Does that hurt? Do you want more?&#8221; and in the background I heard cruel childish laughter, taunting, insulting, calling me a Baby, urging the tormentor on.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It was a primal dream about ordinary cruelty. I was tormented by other children, so were you. It&#8217;s part of childhood. And then my daughter Maia came into the dream and he vanished. I&#8217;d been looking at pictures of her that day on my laptop, joyful pictures, grinning, eyes alight, with her beloved aunts and nannies, Jenny her mom, her grandmothers, me.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="468" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/052debd2-080c-491a-a440-9af93b408875?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/09a4f75c-5133-4900-bc76-731734840634_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:468,&quot;bytes&quot;:155099,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188318059?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F09a4f75c-5133-4900-bc76-731734840634_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="468" height="312.21546961325964" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KrXz!,w_468,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F09a4f75c-5133-4900-bc76-731734840634_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She didn&#8217;t speak in the dream, she simply made everything peaceful.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She was born in a New York hospital a few days after Christmas, 1997, eyes open wide, taking it all in. We named her Maia after Jenny&#8217;s Swedish grandma and Grace after my mother. We brought the little girl home to Minnesota to meet her relatives. My mother and father and elderly relations came one afternoon to view her, an infant visitation, and the sleeping child was passed from one elder to another, Ina and Louie, Joan, Elsie and Don, Jean, each holding her in their arms, giving their blessing.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I was 55 and she was the last grandchild, a last attempt to breed some frivolity and high-spiritedness into our somber Anglo line, and we succeeded. She didn&#8217;t get that grin from the Keillor genes, I know that. She is a socialite, a hugger and comedian, who craves beautiful experiences, swimming, a party, lunch in a caf&#233; with tablecloths and oddball waiters, the Radio City Christmas show with the chorus line doing synchronized high kicks when one Rockette kicked off a shoe but kept dancing though off-kilter. Priceless.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="480" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/a55dd4fe-d290-4289-8422-58fc810210a5?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c56d4872-99fb-4b90-9584-9459efd6f549_594x395.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:395,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:480,&quot;bytes&quot;:171051,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188318059?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc56d4872-99fb-4b90-9584-9459efd6f549_594x395.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="480" height="319.19191919191917" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!odfN!,w_480,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc56d4872-99fb-4b90-9584-9459efd6f549_594x395.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">For her tonsillectomy I was the one who helped the anesthesiologist hold the mask to her face and put her out. And an hour later, coming out of OR, she spotted me and stuck out her tongue. But she hugged me later.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She&#8217;d been diagnosed with apraxia, slow speech development, and then was diagnosed with Angelman syndrome, a neurogenetic disorder that can be catastrophic &#8212; a cruel neurologist tested her briefly and said, &#8220;She&#8217;ll never talk&#8221; &#8212; but thanks to her mother&#8217;s determination and dozens of dedicated therapists and the grace of God she did.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The little girl loved school, loved the company of other children, and then gradually she didn&#8217;t anymore, and it was clear that she was being picked on, and she didn&#8217;t have the language skills to defend herself. It was unbearable. So when she was twelve, we did the hardest thing we&#8217;d ever done and took her to a special-needs boarding school in upstate New York and left her there, weeping, in the arms of a teacher, and drove away, got out of sight and fell apart. We told each other we were doing the right thing. The child didn&#8217;t change her clothes for four days because those were the clothes her mother had last hugged her in.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Over time she thrived. There was a girl from</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Greece, Marisa, who became a big sister to her, and the sun shone again. And there were teachers who had a calling to work with these kids. At graduation, the bagpiper played and the class flung their mortarboards in the air, my daughter&#8217;s flying high with the others.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And today she is one of the happiest friends I have, living her own life, ever capable of delight. A genetic glitch does not imply a lack of personality, far from it. She rode the River Run ride at the State Fair with me, which we called the Pee Ride, and laughed hysterically to see water washing into my lap. I have the video on my cellphone. It makes me happy.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f69e026f-455a-4d68-80db-2b67f8c6e122?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b37e233e-1855-4b49-b8a4-1f7afde9d6b3_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:238787,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188318059?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb37e233e-1855-4b49-b8a4-1f7afde9d6b3_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cNsl!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb37e233e-1855-4b49-b8a4-1f7afde9d6b3_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">As a little girl, she visited my dad at home as he lay dying and she stood by his bed. He was glad to see her. He moved his right big toe slowly under the blanked and she snatched at it and he moved it away. Then his left toe. Her delight delighted him and he laughed. The laughter of a dying man makes comedy a sacred art. And that&#8217;s what the dream was all about.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=188318059&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg4MzE4MDU5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzE0MTMwMDYsImV4cCI6MTc3NDAwNTAwNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.ZuWZnwIzQmGH28-6EAQxpGO-yrvNdUgWnVsgTrxaM6g&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=188318059&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg4MzE4MDU5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzE0MTMwMDYsImV4cCI6MTc3NDAwNTAwNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.ZuWZnwIzQmGH28-6EAQxpGO-yrvNdUgWnVsgTrxaM6g" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Celebrate your wonderfully one-of-a-kind family with a sign inspired by Garrison Keillor&#8217;s beloved tales of Lake Wobegon, &#8220;where all the children are above average.&#8221;</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/5b281e88-9135-4d69-8d2b-3a49a9913502?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> to customize and buy today!</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-bottom: 0;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="510" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/515fae48-4601-4000-a563-54c1cdfaccd6?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/886b958c-6b46-4621-a084-e68f44f895e3_960x377.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:377,&quot;width&quot;:960,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:510,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="510" height="200.28125" 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src="https://email.mg-d0.substack.com/o/eJxEkF2q5CAQRldzfZtQGo3mwbWEUqsz0ok2pfaQ3Q_9A_f1fHA4fBE77ZUv_6iti-SXGW8mCfLSWqnlDLAKOjEf206FGDulDfvvuhglxV-_giEdrIMFVNIrAcSgjXUWZlTGBJG9ArWAkk5KmCVM8yQlGJLROu2QIIYfDef-J8HURmgd432K9RS5bTemd4LvPEi8QjccKVOJ5OlJfNXyxTl56dwsHZj1Q_r1IF_oXzuod2LxGGGL9TxHyf3aqGA4KH3FIxw5Ys-1vERqVWCNYM-t_WiItTAmpqvUI7V3Whsh1RNz8Tsy51bLnfJxVBb9c-doxC-VNU6us17E06v_AQAA___chXpI"></body></html>eef3c000-0cda-11f1-91cc-0a39ee06db20Wed, 18 Feb 2026 10:03:07 GMT2026-02-20 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>It's almost March, time to head North</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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.audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjIwMTEwMjI4LjMuZTNmMjI4ZmI3NDI4ZWIyZkBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg4NTUwNzcyLCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MTU4NTQ0NywiZXhwIjoxNzc0MTc3NDQ3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.kjhKhOQzq6nnvB_WG00fJ_HBFGlWPJpt7sbRbqqs5wo" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.20.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGaXRzLWFsbW9zdC1tYXJjaC10aW1lLXRvLWhlYWQtbm9ydGgiLCJwIjoxODg1NTA3NzIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc3MTU4NTQ0NiwiZXhwIjoyMDg3MTYxNDQ2LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.Wjg2kUZCi6jkX10wpRTkLGg7CnX1_JSZ5KDMKRpTh0M?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=188550772&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg4NTUwNzcyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzE1ODU0NDYsImV4cCI6MTc3NDE3NzQ0NiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Hi6lP0OEPxAA3aUKrmxwD-2_Is3QyW14r8UlXFc9EZQ" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">It's almost March, time to head North</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.20.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-20T11:02:28.424Z">Feb 20</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=188550772&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg4NTUwNzcyLCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MTU4NTQ0NiwiZXhwIjoxNzc0MTc3NDQ2LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.k1fQPG3-ytKgEiFI-kvrTN6txYP57TbSy_10DBOGIdY&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: 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href="https://substack.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.10meJBA-voDosWBOX7ne3ZDQYE_OFsDmd2wIT26NXcg?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=188550772" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I sort of miss having Greenland in the news every day, a land I&#8217;ve sometimes wanted to visit when I get sick of summer. Face it, nature can get tedious at a certain point and Greenland has less greenery than any other land I can think of. I&#8217;m from Minnesota, which has a long winter so when spring rolls around people expect you to be all giddy and excited and do things, have picnics, play softball, go camping. I went camping when I was in Scouts. I did it. It&#8217;s done.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Hiking sounds nice, walking, conversing, but inevitably the persons who go hiking with me know a great deal about trees and plants and enjoy expounding and explaining about herbaceousness and deciduosity and I&#8217;m sorry but plant life is immobile and lacks communication skills and isn&#8217;t that interesting.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/5936b1ed-3596-46b0-a7f3-71742354245d?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/669a5256-6a7b-479b-a040-0eee8a0d8a55_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:589657,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188550772?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F669a5256-6a7b-479b-a040-0eee8a0d8a55_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!TWMB!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F669a5256-6a7b-479b-a040-0eee8a0d8a55_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">No, there&#8217;ve been times when I wanted to escape summer and fly north to an icebound island and move into a Quonset hut and just read books and get good sleep. I&#8217;ve been to the Arctic Circle a couple times and it&#8217;s quite restful.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I think that Denmark and Greenland and Canada are pretending to be outraged by Mr. Trump&#8217;s craving for this territory he&#8217;s never seen. Their resistance is strategic, trying to get a good offer. Now he wants it for free but inevitably he&#8217;ll get reasonable and late one night, depending on his mood and medications, he&#8217;ll go on Truth Social and offer a couple hundred billion on a 30-year mortgage and my advice to them is to take it. Give the man a big Sharpie and have a signing, lights flash, people applaud, the honor guard raises a rifle salute, a squadron of jets flies over, and just as topping on the dessert, change the Washington Monument to the Trump Washington Monument.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">As we all know by now, the man does not lack for nerve. He&#8217;s surrounded by people who tell him he&#8217;s the greatest so he ventures with tremendous confidence into unknown territory. In 250 years, no other U.S. president has publicly referred to other countries as &#8220;shithole&#8221; countries. No other has refused to admit his clear defeat in an election. No other has openly and without apology used his office to reap huge profits for himself and his family. I admire people who still support him &#8212; they are defying gravity and denying that the sun rises in the east and insisting that H and C on the faucets stand for Hydrogen and Chloride. They are juggling scrambled eggs and listening to pigeons speak English.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="452" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c6e3ad31-6977-4c29-a083-97f834054541?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/90771fca-71aa-48a1-b0b2-6c1433da61a1_706x495.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:495,&quot;width&quot;:706,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:452,&quot;bytes&quot;:239648,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188550772?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F90771fca-71aa-48a1-b0b2-6c1433da61a1_706x495.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="452" height="316.91218130311614" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4HMC!,w_452,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F90771fca-71aa-48a1-b0b2-6c1433da61a1_706x495.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">No other president would&#8217;ve torn down the East Wing of the White House on a whim without asking anybody. How long will it be before he becomes the first president in 250 years to drop his trousers and show us his bare backside? Next November? Or sooner?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I think Greenland may be his downfall. I think he believes he can build a wall of gigantic hair dryers and make it into a paradise destination. Nobody else could. But this man, who is all in favor of climate change, is happy to take on the impossible.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Think of all the sociopathic narcissists in your immediate social circle and tell me which one has ventured to found a university and name it after himself. Which one took over an arts center and slapped his name on it, declaring he was going to make it great and then closed it for two years? Whose style of public speaking, which most people consider disjointed, he refers to as &#8220;the weave.&#8221; We have a sociopathic narcissist here in Manhattan who lives on a sidewalk on the Upper West Side in a tent with his belongings scattered about and people walk carefully by as he insults them in a disjointed manner. It is literally a &#8220;shithole&#8221; location. You must admit the man has achieved some distinction, to be so smelly and wretched and foul-mouthed that Dorothy Day and the Sisters of Mercy turn you away.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/66df118d-c952-4ebf-98f8-8b5e1bd07f49?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4525091d-7149-4042-82d5-67380f2a8b2a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:305239,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/188550772?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4525091d-7149-4042-82d5-67380f2a8b2a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1a6J!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4525091d-7149-4042-82d5-67380f2a8b2a_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I want to see our man become president of Greenland and name it Trumpland, spend ten billion on melting the ice shelf, run out of dough, and wind up in a tent on the corner of 81</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">st</sup><span> and Broadway with a potty chair with marble armrests and gold leaf on the toilet paper. 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auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjI0MTYwMjMwLjMuMWIxODgwZjIxNGNkZTE4OUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4ODY4MDM5OSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzE5NDkwNDgsImV4cCI6MTc3NDU0MTA0OCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.RBDYEa2seCre7u3On0VvuOLdfXL9G5je58sGlSuCpMk" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">What's love got to do with it?</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-24T16:02:30.288Z">Feb 24</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjI1MDIzMDE3LjMuMTAyOWQ1NTA3ODExYjZjYkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4OTA5MTQxNSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzE5ODY3MjYsImV4cCI6MTc3NDU3ODcyNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.jyxJbKsqGSOSi3Ct5APA_QuxkAj3hRS7rAuQIh2yrYw" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">PRESALE - February 26th</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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-120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=189091415&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg5MDkxNDE1LCJpYXQiOjE3NzE5ODY3MjUsImV4cCI6MTc3NDU3ODcyNSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.2BgCoRqD8B0dDSFBtJibtpmUtFT4gLAcJu8GBmCUJ5Y" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">APHC &#8212; AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL TOUR Spokane on May 30th</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">PRESALE - February 26th</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF 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500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-25T02:30:17.700Z">Feb 25</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" 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style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 9999px;text-transform: uppercase;font-size: 12px;line-height: 1;padding: 9px 0;text-decoration: none;color: rgb(119,119,119);min-width: 38px;box-sizing: border-box;width: 38px"><img class="icon" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_L14!,w_36,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FLucideShare2%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D36%26fill%3Dnone%26stroke%3D%2523808080%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="18" height="18" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 18px" alt=""></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td width="8" style="min-width:8px;"></td><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.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.PmR7JeBqb1xfQZM-gfhK4h-tNN4qK3g43RI-wX2gFMY?&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 9999px;text-transform: uppercase;font-size: 12px;line-height: 1;padding: 9px 0;text-decoration: none;color: rgb(119,119,119);min-width: 38px;box-sizing: border-box;width: 38px"><img class="icon" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!5EGt!,w_36,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FNoteForwardIcon%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D36%26fill%3Dnone%26stroke%3D%2523808080%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="18" height="18" style="border: none;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 18px" alt=""></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-button-outline" href="https://open.substack.com/pub/garrisonkeillor/p/aphc-america-the-beautiful-tour-spokane?utm_source=email&redirect=app-store&utm_campaign=email-read-in-app" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;font-weight: 500;border: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-radius: 9999px;text-transform: uppercase;font-size: 12px;line-height: 12px;padding: 9px 14px;text-decoration: none;color: rgb(119,119,119);"><div class="email-button-spacer" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;display: inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 0;min-height: 18px;"></div><span class="email-button-text" style="vertical-align: middle;margin-right: 4px">READ IN APP</span><img class="icon text-icon" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ET-_!,w_36,c_scale,f_png,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Ficon%2FLucideArrowUpRight%3Fv%3D4%26height%3D36%26fill%3Dnone%26stroke%3D%2523808080%26strokeWidth%3D2" width="18" height="18" style="min-width: 18px;min-height: 18px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;margin-right: 0;margin-left: 0;max-width: 18px" alt=""></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr></tbody></table></div></div><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="body markup" dir="auto" style="text-align: initial;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;width: 100%;word-break: break-word;margin-bottom: 16px;font-family: 'SF Pro Display', -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Inter', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;"><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;margin-top: 0;"><strong>This is a great country. It gave the world Broadway, rhythm &amp; blues, lyric poetry about ordinary people, and humor &#8212; America without humor is unthinkable. It&#8217;s the land where talent beats privilege and the crowd cheers for the underdog, so let&#8217;s get our chins up and sing about the beauty of the land and the rainbow our people were looking for, the rivers they crossed, their high hopes for their kids.</strong></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="1456" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/792360eb-2bb0-46db-93cb-52394728e92f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e3a5a0f3-74a7-445d-ba69-8c0621cf7faf_3000x2400.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1165,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:555155,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189091415?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe3a5a0f3-74a7-445d-ba69-8c0621cf7faf_3000x2400.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="440.07554945054943" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Xwb6!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe3a5a0f3-74a7-445d-ba69-8c0621cf7faf_3000x2400.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><strong>Enough about despair, let&#8217;s take a night at The Fox Theater in Spokane to have a great time with Garrison Keillor, Heather Masse, Christine DiGiallonardo, Fred Newman, Rich Dworsky and the Guy&#8217;s All-Star Shoe Band.</strong></p><h3 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.375em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/a9ec34fe-0d60-4c2a-8bd2-d07629e2f1de?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">TICKETS</a><span> (PRE-SALE CODE: PHCAmerica)</span></h3><h4 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.125em;">Pre-Sale available Thursday, February 26, 10:00 am PST</h4><h4 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.125em;">General Sale available Friday, February 27, 10:00 am PST</h4><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="1456" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/1fc15a5a-98b3-4159-96ab-088f01de2a04?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/dea9270b-a9e1-487f-b93c-7c1a7d695191_3195x2131.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:971,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:3136210,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189091415?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea9270b-a9e1-487f-b93c-7c1a7d695191_3195x2131.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="366.7925824175824" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!V6Iw!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdea9270b-a9e1-487f-b93c-7c1a7d695191_3195x2131.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="1428" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/3a469ac5-368d-4f76-8698-919841ff56bb?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/0a924b4a-8fbf-450d-998a-2c2e157f5cae_1428x1010.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1010,&quot;width&quot;:1428,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:2600249,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189091415?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0a924b4a-8fbf-450d-998a-2c2e157f5cae_1428x1010.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="389.00560224089634" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8GhU!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F0a924b4a-8fbf-450d-998a-2c2e157f5cae_1428x1010.png" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="1364" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/463c5cd6-954a-4a98-8bb4-dad8b0f3bcb1?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/66e6f515-2ab8-4768-8c94-386c7f7cec00_1364x1448.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1448,&quot;width&quot;:1364,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:3528802,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189091415?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F66e6f515-2ab8-4768-8c94-386c7f7cec00_1364x1448.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="583.8709677419355" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!I5zd!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F66e6f515-2ab8-4768-8c94-386c7f7cec00_1364x1448.png" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"></p><h4 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.125em;"><strong><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/3b2b4526-0130-40f0-93c1-fb9c65822da4?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">THINGS TO DO IN SPOKANE</a></strong></h4><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"></p><h4 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 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src="https://email.mg-d0.substack.com/o/eJxEkFuq5CAURUdz_eugx6jxw7GEo55KSxktfFST2Tf1gPu7NiwWO-Cgo7bLPWofLDot8aYiIyeMEXbTBgyjE1PeDyrUcFDccfyuGsCwv07Dpi1sqOINbZBSydULbrRFaRBIs-SAg-YAioPkwixyERxsVIqbTQivg_9Z-Xn8iXzp0_eB4b6EerLU91ujd4IbbRJ7he44Y6ISyNGT2lXLF6foxGa5FatQHzKuB7lC_3qmMaixx_R7qOc5SxrXTgV9pvgVT59TwJFqeYnAAjeKNdd6_1l5qKVhbHSVmmN_p_XpYz0xFXdga6nXcqeUc21sfO6cndpLZdQmrFw1ezr4HwAA__8IPXpZ"></body></html>b3bc69cf-1239-11f1-8ddd-0a39ee06db20Wed, 25 Feb 2026 06:04:07 GMT2026-02-25 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>Don't let your deal go down</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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{ .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjI1MTEwMjM2LjMuMDM5NjBhZDNkNjdlYWFmZEBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTg5MDc0MDM2LCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MjAxNzYzNywiZXhwIjoxNzc0NjA5NjM3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.G9DE-eRCVzCDE7ISmHIH6aePNx5YCTRXJaZWePOM5w8" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.23.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGZG9udC1sZXQteW91ci1kZWFsLWdvLWRvd24iLCJwIjoxODkwNzQwMzYsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc3MjAxNzYzNywiZXhwIjoyMDg3NTkzNjM3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.RISN3SU2IMVAO40Q3BjfPdgi1pey5h9Nh1B12Y5o6WY?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=189074036&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg5MDc0MDM2LCJpYXQiOjE3NzIwMTc2MzcsImV4cCI6MTc3NDYwOTYzNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.FOE9nInu4WOxdBfot53dE4DElaLi3nokD25lexy2BcM" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Don't let your deal go down</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.23.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-25T11:02:36.733Z">Feb 25</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am fond of facts, even ones I don&#8217;t fully comprehend, such as the fact that curling stones are made from a heavy form of granite from magma expelled by an ancient volcano on an uninhabited island off the coast of Scotland, this stone and this stone alone is what curlers slide down the ice as the sweepers run alongside sweeping. I read this in the Fake News but it has the ring of truth and if you can prove otherwise, I will buy you all the haggis your heart desires.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/0c3ff383-39de-4219-9e60-97e8f6d0b4d5?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c928c2d7-4b14-45cb-b772-80bf69ea8af5_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:152706,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189074036?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc928c2d7-4b14-45cb-b772-80bf69ea8af5_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!g6Mv!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc928c2d7-4b14-45cb-b772-80bf69ea8af5_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>The mind is flighty, easily distracted and this is why, as I scroll down the Fake News from the New York </span><em>Times </em><span>on my cellphone, every few inches there&#8217;s an ad for American Express to remind me that they&#8217;re not about abstract expressionism or overnight mail or nonstop bus service but they do credit cards, okay? Get that?</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>It&#8217;s why our Leader needs to come up with a Major News Story every other day, because the citizenry is not focused on him entirely but is distracted by interesting facts such as that the entrepreneur Gordon Bowker who founded Starbucks was a fan of Herman Melville&#8217;s </span><em>Moby-Dick </em><span>and so named the company for the first mate of the </span><em>Pequod</em><span>,</span><em> </em><span>which went in search of the great whale. But before settling on that name, he seriously considered naming it Pequod. Mr. Bowker is now a multibillionaire but if he&#8217;d put out a coffee with the word</span><em> pee </em><span>in the name, I&#8217;m not sure he&#8217;d be a thousandaire today. Americans take their coffee seriously; we don&#8217;t drink joke coffee.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>So the Leader got a banner headline in the </span><em>Times </em><span>for ranting at the six Justices for voting against his sweeping tariff assessments, calling them &#8220;unpatriotic&#8221; and &#8220;disloyal&#8221; as if their oaths were to him personally, not the Constitution. He said he was ashamed of the three conservatives who voted against him. It reminded me of the odd fact I read, that fans of losing football teams may experience a 20% drop in testosterone. I imagined Melania putting an arm around him to comfort him and the Leader saying, &#8220;I&#8217;m really tired tonight, okay? I&#8217;d rather be by myself for a while.&#8221;</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="461" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/91a98d78-c256-4cd2-9d21-2e0e5e28a676?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/db811d21-4c52-42d8-b0b9-53a358f7b9aa_715x489.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:489,&quot;width&quot;:715,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:461,&quot;bytes&quot;:281853,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189074036?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdb811d21-4c52-42d8-b0b9-53a358f7b9aa_715x489.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="461" height="315.2853146853147" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KD59!,w_461,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdb811d21-4c52-42d8-b0b9-53a358f7b9aa_715x489.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">In the high school I graduated from, history was not taught seriously, it was assigned to basketball coaches, substitute teachers, anyone available. And they didn&#8217;t need to know much, just read the textbook and keep a chapter ahead of the class. It was a patriotic version of history, so all presidents were noble and every war was just, even World War I in which ten million soldiers died for the pompous arrogance of rulers along with twelve million civilians in a war that accomplished nothing except set the stage for World War II. We took a lighthearted view of WWI as if it were a season of football, men in plumed helmets on horseback charging into massed artillery.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Earthly cares weigh heavily on our shoulders and it&#8217;s a shame what happened to that arts center in D.C. &#8212; what&#8217;s its name? And the enormous mausoleum soon to be constructed by the White House. And who&#8217;s going to pick the grapes and slaughter the chickens if we deport the people doing it now? We&#8217;re going through a strange phase of our history, government by whimsical impulse, changing weekly, as the Exec looks for new amusements, where a pro wrestling exec is now Secretary of Education and an anti-vaxxer is Secretary of Health. Satire has taken over the federal government. Check out the Dude&#8217;s speech at the National Prayer Breakfast. Who is writing this show?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">And then I&#8217;m distracted trying to think of the words to an old song and I google Charlie Poole and the North Carolina Ramblers and listen to them sing, &#8220;Don&#8217;t let your deal go down till your last gold dollar is gone&#8221; and I&#8217;m in somebody&#8217;s backyard in southeast Minneapolis in 1962 with a bunch of folkies and we&#8217;re all singing, little kids are tearing around, there&#8217;s a case of beer in a washtub of ice.</p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/9b7e8f34-2e5d-4c9d-8eaa-9afb24e9f925?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/HgpyFRwEWa4" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Speaking of ice, why is curling an Olympic sport? Sliding a rock on ice? I mean, really. Why not snow shoveling? Making angels in the snow? But enough about that. I saw my doctor last week and he said I look great and I am taking that as a fact. The man has an M.D. degree. 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMjI4MTEwMjI2LjMuOWQ4ODA5NzE5MmU2NGM3ZkBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4OTQyNTYxNSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzIyNzcwNDUsImV4cCI6MTc3NDg2OTA0NSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.8L_dVp8tnrpUoJNCjed85GpXdNQH8mUzH4xdv2w0MxA" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 02.27.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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beautiful blizzard</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 02.27.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-02-28T11:02:26.276Z">Feb 28</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.JBvXueCh9vCuV0MhlcPpz7XirSCMEssp2L-eanPHoQo?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=189425615" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>There&#8217;s an awkward pause that occurs when uninvited people come to visit you for no good reason, when everything has been said that anyone can think of, but </span><em>nobody gets up to leave </em><span>&#8212;</span><em> </em><span>it feels like the Valley of the Shadow of Death &#8212; so farewell sounds need to be made such as &#8220;Okay then&#8221; and &#8220;Yes, sir&#8221; and &#8220;Very good&#8221; &#8212; and we have now reached this point with the Trump era. Everything has been said twice: Democrats are traitors, judges are fools, the country was in ruins and now is No. 1 again, and the Incumbent is the greatest president in our history. Time for the guests to go home.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>That was the beauty of the blizzard that transformed New York City. It was real and it had nothing to do with him and for two whole days he disappeared from our collective consciousness. Airports closed, sanitation workers put in 12-hour days. Twenty inches fell in Central Park Sunday, so Monday was called a holiday, and the Park was packed with celebrants, sliding, skiing, hiking, dog-walking, and the snow was perfect snowman snow and impressive ten-foot ones appeared here and there, and snowballs were thrown though in a big city you need to think before tossing. But nobody said it was caused by Chinese satellites, or that it made it even more necessary to take Greenland. It was just a great blizzard that changed how everyone went about their business. We were all in it together. All of the various pronouns became one: </span><em>We. Us. Ours. He/him/his </em><span>didn&#8217;t matter much. Our brief experiment with monarchy was over.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/341f0cd6-568f-447f-a2a9-e663de45e074?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ad35e207-0c68-45fd-a7b9-f321b2283e80_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:157962,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189425615?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fad35e207-0c68-45fd-a7b9-f321b2283e80_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="317.5524861878453" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!o3QW!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fad35e207-0c68-45fd-a7b9-f321b2283e80_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>A blizzard puts us briefly back in the 19</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> century and makes smartphones, laptops, earbuds, GPS, Alexa somewhat irrelevant, and you step outside and are back in olden days when women in long skirts go skating with gentlemen in homburgs, and all schoolchildren memorize the Gettysburg Address and Sir Walter Scott&#8217;s</span></p><pre class="text" data-component-name="PreformattedTextBlockToDOMStatic" style="white-space: pre-wrap;font-family: 'Spectral', serif, system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 400;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;"><em>Breathes there the man with soul so dead Who never to himself hath said, &#8220;This is my own, my native land!&#8221; Whose heart hath ne&#8217;er within him burned As home his footsteps he hath turn&#8217;d From wandering on some foreign strand.</em><span> </span></pre><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Nowadays, fathers of teen girls tell me, it&#8217;s Taylor Swift and if you are enlisted to drive vanloads of little girls to games and social events, you will hear them singing, &#8220;</span><em>I was grinning like I&#8217;m winning, I was hitting my marks. &#8217;Cause I can do it with a broken heart</em><span>.&#8221; Girls who&#8217;ve never been on a real date are big fans of breakup songs.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">But out there in the snowdrifts in Central Park you experienced the eternal childhood that this old man remembers, same as my dad on the farm, my grandpa working in the shipyard in Canada, going way back to William Cox from Oxfordshire, a sailor in the Royal Navy who got tired of the lousy food, the rats, the perilous chores, the whippings, and he jumped ship in New Jersey, a capital offense, and came inland, started a family. His daughter Martha Ann Cox was my great-great-grandmother.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She experienced blizzards the same way we do. A time to set aside your plans, check your supply of provisions, stay home, keep warm, admire the splendor, and yield to the childish delight of tearing around having fun in the snow.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/6af0f8d7-d8d7-4a5b-b307-4c7648504f7d?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5c1e7728-e314-4081-b918-d45ee9fe449c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:238822,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189425615?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5c1e7728-e314-4081-b918-d45ee9fe449c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YLUw!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5c1e7728-e314-4081-b918-d45ee9fe449c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>That&#8217;s what was happening in Central Park Monday, New Yorkers in a state of delight. Hollywood gave urban life a bad rep: city streets at night made the perfect backdrop for crime and danger and the small town became the paradise of simple virtues. Well, guess again. You go to Carnegie Hall for Brahms&#8217;s Second Symphony and sit in a blizzard of soulful rapture. And even if you were brought up by leftist hippies and suckled on Pete Seeger and nurtured on the Grateful Dead, you cannot help but be swept away &#8212; if you forget that this is Classical Music, if you sit back and close your eyes, the </span><em>Adagio </em><span>movement will sing you into a state of wonderment &#8212; even if you don&#8217;t know a scherzando from a school bus, you will experience delight. You will rise with 2,800 other people of various faiths and predilections united in delight and clap and cheer, and then you will hustle outside to 57</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> Street and compete mercilessly for a yellow cab. This is an experience that everyone should have at least once.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">So is a New York blizzard. Your life is not complete until you&#8217;ve seen one.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="535" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/5c3ef4ea-e464-44cd-8579-b119e094a360?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wNC-!,w_535,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fac2a2741-b419-4609-9e72-0116ee64cea0_787x443.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" 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none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Packed with sharp humor, surprising tenderness, and vintage advertising flair, this collection of original poems by Garrison Keillor is perfect for private reading or bold recitation to anyone within earshot.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/8ee4e5bc-832a-469f-a2f3-c9f11a14de00?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> to buy today! </span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-bottom: 0;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="404" 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src="https://email.mg-d1.substack.com/o/eJxEkFuq5CAURUdz_eugJ_H14ViCj1NpKaPFUavJ7Jt6wP1dGxaLHf3Ao9HlHq0PltxqAzdRMXRCawCt-WYYnj6X_cCK5Aem3Y_fVWpp2F8XkrYaZECrRbTKr6uPRnEpbhExQWDZAQfFAYwQHEAt62KTMdxqYQHVFvXtZ-Pn8SeJpc_Qh4_3JbaT5b7fCN8JbtBE9ird_UwZa0SHT6Sr1S_OyQljN5BKyA8Z1wNdxX-94BhI7DHDHtt5zprHtWP1oWD6imcoOfqRW32JwALXkpGj3n82Hlslnwiv2krq77Q-Q2qnz9Udnij3Vu-YS2nExufP2ZFeKi2NsOum2NPB_wAAAP__Llp7Zg"></body></html>94354ab0-14b6-11f1-a5a2-0a39ee06db20Sat, 28 Feb 2026 10:03:02 GMT2026-03-04 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>My friends, let us march into March</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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{ .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzA0MTEwMzEwLjMuMDczNDBkMTg5ZTcyODUyMUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE4OTc5NDk4MCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzI2MjI2MTgsImV4cCI6MTc3NTIxNDYxOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.GhkXXjTCdxxF4IfQ4F14_mUJOf3VIVaOJw72SCOvuOY" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.02.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGbXktZnJpZW5kcy1sZXQtdXMtbWFyY2gtaW50by1tYXJjaCIsInAiOjE4OTc5NDk4MCwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1Ijo3NTgxOTM0NiwiaWF0IjoxNzcyNjIyNjE3LCJleHAiOjIwODgxOTg2MTcsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoibGluay1yZWRpcmVjdCJ9.hLkLxahbhoiKkl4Bbhs2vV63_8p4caQQEfydlZmma48?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=189794980&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg5Nzk0OTgwLCJpYXQiOjE3NzI2MjI2MTcsImV4cCI6MTc3NTIxNDYxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.bcwIcRa2_3wxKLHFqqm--frCCJPIbi_A6Xm2qLm6GpM" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">My friends, let us march into March</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.02.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-04T11:03:10.773Z">Mar 4</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Life is good, spring is on the way, and we must keep reminding ourselves of this since it isn&#8217;t reported in the newspapers, just as they don&#8217;t bother to point out that Canada is to the north and a brisk walk is good for you and you shouldn&#8217;t stick a fork into the toaster to pry loose a slice that&#8217;s stuck. You&#8217;re supposed to know this.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="475" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/e0ba2b33-643b-4592-9123-e265aae0e735?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a24b52a9-2c3e-4eb1-b2db-bd6d3cbcb7f8_725x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:725,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:475,&quot;bytes&quot;:286559,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189794980?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa24b52a9-2c3e-4eb1-b2db-bd6d3cbcb7f8_725x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="475" height="315.7931034482759" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cliz!,w_475,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa24b52a9-2c3e-4eb1-b2db-bd6d3cbcb7f8_725x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Yes, there is sadness and confusion. Yes, a person can descend into the insanity of passwords and PIN numbers that makes you want to go back to the paper tablet and No. 2 pencil. Yes, there is the misery of instruction manuals written by technical whizzes for other whizzes but for the rest of us may as well be in Urdu.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We are a divided people and some of us believe that left-wing optometrists use eye drops to make their patients susceptible to mind control by the CIA, the AFL-CIO, and the liberal elite of UCLA, and others of us think this is horse hockey, but the nation is united in our hatred of instruction manuals.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Last week my laptop froze after I had written a couple thousand words in a document unsaved and I was on the verge of despair. But I have a guru out in the woods of Wisconsin whom I called and he guided me through the steps of recovery, a joyful experience. I went back to work, a happy man.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I must admit, though, that when the president gave the SOTU and proclaimed that in just one year he had brought a nation in crisis back bigger, better, richer, and stronger, achieving a transformation like no one has ever seen before, to be the most incredible and exceptional nation ever to exist on the face of this earth, it didn&#8217;t thrill me the way it should&#8217;ve. I&#8217;ve gotten more pleasure from a McDonald&#8217;s Quarter Pounder, to tell you the truth.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/4488c266-61e2-4e17-97e4-31d05981944f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/c29daa67-a81f-4aff-972b-f473d6c7232a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:333555,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189794980?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc29daa67-a81f-4aff-972b-f473d6c7232a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NjTu!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc29daa67-a81f-4aff-972b-f473d6c7232a_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">When I was a kid in Benson School, we memorized the Gettysburg Address in sixth grade and it&#8217;s still in my head I discovered the other night, lying in bed, from &#8220;Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth&#8221; and it came along, with some hesitation around the &#8220;increased devotion&#8221; and &#8220;the last full measure of devotion&#8221; to &#8220;of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.&#8221; The man had an ear for cadence, that&#8217;s for sure.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I doubt that schoolchildren are going to be memorizing, &#8220;Today, our border is secure, our spirit is restored, inflation is plummeting, incomes are rising fast, the roaring economy is roaring like never before, our enemies are scared, our military and police are stacked, and America is respected again &#8212; perhaps like never before.&#8221; Not even in Texas or Wyoming or South Carolina. The words don&#8217;t settle decisively in the mind.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Our guy&#8217;s transformation of America to be bigger, better, richer, stronger is sales talk, just like his speech at the U.N. last fall, saying, &#8220;We are the hottest country anywhere in the world and there is no other country even close.&#8221; Who ever referred to their country as </span><em>hot? </em><span>Stocks may be hot, a pop song, an actor, a vacation resort, bitcoins but not a nation dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. </span><em>Make America Hot Again</em><span>? Where are we going with this?</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The SOTU viewership was low, mostly barrooms, nursing homes, shopping centers, airport terminals, where TVs are kept on round the clock for atmosphere, but if this is transformation, why does a solid majority disapprove? And when he proposes that we &#8220;nationalize&#8221; the midterm elections, is he thinking of a similar transformation?</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/981f2c55-8e49-410e-a781-091e30980b81?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/5ce03638-607a-4b04-ac47-f7651990b7a9_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:208309,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/189794980?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5ce03638-607a-4b04-ac47-f7651990b7a9_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!yhss!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5ce03638-607a-4b04-ac47-f7651990b7a9_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My grandpa Keillor emigrated from New Brunswick to Minnesota in 1900 and it&#8217;s tempting to think of going back. There are places in northern Minnesota where the border is just two strands of barbed wire. Lift one strand, step on the other, and in you go. Their national anthem is rather operatic for me, they have five political parties, the bacon is round and not in strips, but a person could get used to it. They have spacious skies, majestic mountains, fruited plains, just as we do. So they&#8217;re not hot; I can deal with it. The goodness of life is in the everyday. If the woman I love decides to go forth to the North, I&#8217;m with her.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=189794980&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg5Nzk0OTgwLCJpYXQiOjE3NzI2MjI2MTcsImV4cCI6MTc3NTIxNDYxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.bcwIcRa2_3wxKLHFqqm--frCCJPIbi_A6Xm2qLm6GpM&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=189794980&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTg5Nzk0OTgwLCJpYXQiOjE3NzI2MjI2MTcsImV4cCI6MTc3NTIxNDYxNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.bcwIcRa2_3wxKLHFqqm--frCCJPIbi_A6Xm2qLm6GpM" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Plan ahead for a fun night out in March or April by buying tickets to one of Garrison Keillor&#8217;s live shows. There&#8217;s nothing like it!</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/654818d8-8326-4814-b20f-b0cacb115665?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> to get your tickets today! </span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table 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.typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzA2MTEwMjM3LjMuMWFjY2M4ZTBkOTRjNzgwZUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MDA1OTcyNCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.fc-0h0ZYgQt40sYlhHfujxfASBbXbCn7Xc7fVs2lEFU" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.06.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190059724&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwMDU5NzI0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.kbPaVDkT7_5eeheRpOPqgxTOrfXmgR57DxzhBci9TJ8" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Goodbye, winter, and hello, youth and beauty</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.06.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-06T11:02:37.314Z">Mar 6</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/410d9144-2c4d-4bee-b96c-0257780613b0_1100x220.webp&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:220,&quot;width&quot;:1100,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:15360,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/webp&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190059724?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F410d9144-2c4d-4bee-b96c-0257780613b0_1100x220.webp&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="110" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!W8bx!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F410d9144-2c4d-4bee-b96c-0257780613b0_1100x220.webp" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190059724&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwMDU5NzI0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.kbPaVDkT7_5eeheRpOPqgxTOrfXmgR57DxzhBci9TJ8&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190059724&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwMDU5NzI0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.kbPaVDkT7_5eeheRpOPqgxTOrfXmgR57DxzhBci9TJ8" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Spring crept in Saturday on its little cat feet, the temp hit 50 where I was, time to open the windows and let in the hopeful breeze and blow away the stale air of regret and dismay, time to make time to go out and see the world, which is out there, pleading to be seen.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Baseball season opens March 25, the Yankees in San Francisco, and I hope I can see four or five games this year, and I&#8217;d love to make it to Wrigley Field in Chicago and Fenway in Boston, plus Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. I never made it to the old one, the House That Ruth Built, but the new one is a classic too.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/1f4d97c0-4f31-4317-b77b-4bfe150ba8f2?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4918c79c-b03b-4610-b291-0f2e8d11247e_594x396.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:396,&quot;width&quot;:594,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:171343,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190059724?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4918c79c-b03b-4610-b291-0f2e8d11247e_594x396.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="317.3333333333333" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!yDLN!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4918c79c-b03b-4610-b291-0f2e8d11247e_594x396.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">As you get old, you declutter your life and toss things you don&#8217;t care about, but baseball is a permanent pleasure. There is a story line to every game and also stretches of relaxation when you can think of other things, but the geometry is fascinating, so unlike football with the two herds of buffalo butting heads. The classic steal, the catcher&#8217;s eye on the pitch but also noting the runner sprinting from first as he braces himself for the throw to second. And the double-steal, the runner on first heading for second, the long throw to second as the runner on third heads home.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">At least once this summer, I&#8217;d love to see the classic triple, the ball hit to a far corner and perhaps bobbled, the fleet runner dashing, the base coaches windmilling him on. And if I am very lucky, the stolen homer. A fan is fortunate if you see three in a lifetime: bases loaded, two outs, and the swing and the long ball, the center fielder heading for the fence while calculating the precise flight of the ball, the distance to the fence and his own speed, and aware of his own skeletal fragility and the possibility of orthopedic disaster, all these judgments by a man in full gallop and timing his leap, left arm fully extended to snag the little white sphere that the first three rows of fans are standing with arms outstretched in hope of catching &#8212; and he hits the fence, ball in glove, lands on his feet, and trots toward the visitors&#8217; dugout &#8212; yes, he&#8217;s on the visiting team, the fans in the stands are silent, sullen, hearts broken, as he trots along, but even they know deep in their hearts what a miracle this was.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I loved softball back in my thirties, slow-pitch, when I was the pitcher on a casual team of guys my age, and afterward we went to a beer joint and bought a few pitchers and sat in a couple booths and told jokes. We didn&#8217;t know each other all that well, conversation was patchy &#8212; weather, Vietnam, the Twins &#8212; and then a subject would come up, such as Jean-Paul Sartre, and someone would tell a joke.</span><em> How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb? </em><span>&#8220;Define light bulb.&#8221; And the one about the student who got an A in philosophy by writing a paper proving that his professor didn&#8217;t exist.</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="507" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/80a25ef4-a415-47a0-8744-ced9d03ba65d?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/7a1be658-17aa-47fc-884b-74ec90658d09_750x466.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:466,&quot;width&quot;:750,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:507,&quot;bytes&quot;:167296,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190059724?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7a1be658-17aa-47fc-884b-74ec90658d09_750x466.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="507" height="315.016" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y58M!,w_507,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7a1be658-17aa-47fc-884b-74ec90658d09_750x466.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>This string of jokes went on and on. A joke about a philosopher in a nudist camp and then a string of nudist jokes (</span><em>A cold day in Minnesota and the sign at the nudist camp was: </em><span>We&#8217;re open but we&#8217;re clothed.) and that led to one about the man who entered ten puns in a pun contest hoping one would win but no pun in ten did.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My softball days ended. I got too busy, gadding about, doing ten things at once, and that simple ceremony of connected jokes came to an end. Maybe because I was no longer in all-male company, or because I quit drinking &#8212; I don&#8217;t know why it disappeared. Am I hanging out with too many liberals who regard all comedic references to women as offensive?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I miss telling jokes in the beer joint. I&#8217;m 83, I have a good life. I took a fall in January and busted a shoulder and friends are very nice to ask me about it but frankly it&#8217;s not that interesting. It certainly isn&#8217;t humerus either. Friends get together and we talk about You Know Who and say the same things over and over. Speaking of whom, God calls him up and says, &#8220;The world is going to end in seven days.&#8221; And he tells Melania, &#8220;The bad news is that there is a God but the good news is that I won&#8217;t be impeached.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="425" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f49b72bf-1daf-4622-990c-c79c696cbec7?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/18a6ec59-58e9-4f5c-ad51-4709f9fddf17_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:512,&quot;width&quot;:683,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:425,&quot;bytes&quot;:149472,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190059724?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18a6ec59-58e9-4f5c-ad51-4709f9fddf17_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="425" height="318.59443631039534" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lueW!,w_425,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18a6ec59-58e9-4f5c-ad51-4709f9fddf17_683x512.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190059724&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwMDU5NzI0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.kbPaVDkT7_5eeheRpOPqgxTOrfXmgR57DxzhBci9TJ8&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190059724&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwMDU5NzI0LCJpYXQiOjE3NzI3OTUyMTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NTM4NzIxMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.kbPaVDkT7_5eeheRpOPqgxTOrfXmgR57DxzhBci9TJ8" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">The days are getting longer, and spring is around the corner. Make it all the more special with a trip to see Garrison Keillor live.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/d7f7c395-27a3-4cef-8b07-8f5c86875435?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> for tickets.</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-bottom: 0;"><figure 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src="https://email.mg-d1.substack.com/o/eJw0kE2u4yAQBk_z2I3VgG3MgrNY0HQ8KBiiBjLy7Uf5edv6pFLpQ9_pqHy5R21dRKdtgA1XQU4ao4xdNjkLOn3K-0GF2HeKu--_q5LSziD-uqhIoV-DWVXUGJfbJqU2IDewFvRNi-QUqBU0rFKC0mbSk_SIuBFEO6PZgH5mOI8_UU5thNY93iesp0htvzG9E1znQeJVuvsRExUkR0_iq5YvTtFJC7BYo-YP6deDXKF_LVPvxOIxwo71PEdJ_dqp-JApfsUj5IS-p1peImUVmEWw49Z-ZsBa2Eemq9Qc2zutjRDr6VNxh2dOrZY7pZwri_75czTil8osm7R6XsXTqf8BAAD___d_ezw"></body></html>6bfda7c0-196d-11f1-bc45-0a39ee06db20Fri, 06 Mar 2026 10:01:57 GMT2026-03-11 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>My Sunday night, sorry you missed it</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor 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{ .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzExMTMxNTU2LjMuNTU3MjIxNmNmOWRjMzg3NUBtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tPiIsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJyIjoicnNzQGNvbnJhZHJleW5vbGRzLmNvbSIsImQiOiJtZzIuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tIiwicCI6MTkwNTM4Mjg3LCJ0IjoibmV3c2xldHRlciIsImEiOiJldmVyeW9uZSIsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiYyI6InBvc3QiLCJmIjp0cnVlLCJwb3NpdGlvbiI6InRvcCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MzIzNTAwOCwiZXhwIjoxNzc1ODI3MDA4LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImVvIn0.x-0L-2VZdqUD018jOxIrDpdUK4hiT5M9jpDLkFZ6RuI" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.09.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGbXktc3VuZGF5LW5pZ2h0LXNvcnJ5LXlvdS1taXNzZWQiLCJwIjoxOTA1MzgyODcsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc3MzIzNTAwOCwiZXhwIjoyMDg4ODExMDA4LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.koSnC3LfZZMoP7dkBy4HrLvKUh2YkP3jd4HPnOJOguk?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190538287&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwNTM4Mjg3LCJpYXQiOjE3NzMyMzUwMDgsImV4cCI6MTc3NTgyNzAwOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Uz5qD1CROeXnLD1Sswi4pTiDVXrJzj_-84EI6MP6Yu0" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">My Sunday night, sorry you missed it</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.09.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-11T13:15:56.104Z">Mar 11</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190538287&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwNTM4Mjg3LCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MzIzNTAwOCwiZXhwIjoxNzc1ODI3MDA4LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.AAq6l2tuXtn0e3I8P3c5zufMB6xHM8WkqY8oBOgvvnw&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s sort of a shock to suddenly find delight in these dreadful times, the grim news of war and destruction, the apprehension of worse things to come thanks to our adolescent president, but New York has many available wonders and one was a chamber music concert at Lincoln Center Sunday, solo violin pieces, six young players, all phenomenally gifted. I&#8217;m married to a violinist who could distinguish the voice of the Amati from the Guarneri, but even for me, the old fundamentalist, wow, what a show.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/817c5dbf-92c1-4f9b-b745-87183159a469?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/67ef79e3-276b-48d2-ae6c-8b5e30f83dcd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:123749,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190538287?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F67ef79e3-276b-48d2-ae6c-8b5e30f83dcd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_d4B!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F67ef79e3-276b-48d2-ae6c-8b5e30f83dcd_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">There was a dizzying bravado Richard Strauss sonata and a dozen or so little pieces, some sweet melodic things and a series of showstoppers, fantastic technique, big swoops and flourishes and fast chops and perfect elegant finishes that made the audience whoop and yell, and then two Fritz Kreisler pieces for string octet, so utterly sentimental it was amazing to hear them played in this day and age but they were done perfectly, with the air of old Vienna and ladies and gents swaying at the ball, champagne and apple strudel in the air. And what, I ask you, is the matter with sentimentality? Especially when sitting elbow to elbow with the woman you love.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We leaped up to give them a heartfelt standing O and they came back for three bows and what I took away from the evening is this: it&#8217;s tremendous fun to be really really good at something. The players, who were fantastic, nailed every note, had a blast. We loved watching them taking full pleasure in their excellence.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I walked out of the hall, enraptured. Me. An utter ignoramus when it comes to violin. I come from hymn singers, and with hymns you don&#8217;t need a violinist showing you how talented she is. We do not come before the Lord to show off, we come in repentance for our multitude of sins. There was no sign of repentance at Lincoln Center Sunday night. But ignorant as I am and continue to be, I loved every minute of the concert. Adored the whole thing. Astonishing to find delight in strange territory.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We walked up Broadway for a few blocks, a warm March evening, the prospect of spring in the air. This is the Upper West Side of Manhattan, solidly Democratic, Republicans are rare as hummingbirds. If a Democrat cocker spaniel ran against a Republican for Congress, the dog would win, paws down. But Democrats are in need of joy, if you ask me. The ones I know are forever wringing their hands about something they just read a book about, declining literacy of teenagers, income inequality, job loss due to AI, pollution by plastic particles in the ocean causing dementia among humpbacks.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="463" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/80c23c3d-af91-4379-9eb0-fcdeaa150db1?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6f55db12-ff92-46df-92fc-2e06c0ae0a34_715x489.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:489,&quot;width&quot;:715,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:463,&quot;bytes&quot;:386826,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190538287?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f55db12-ff92-46df-92fc-2e06c0ae0a34_715x489.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="463" height="316.65314685314684" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GVHq!,w_463,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6f55db12-ff92-46df-92fc-2e06c0ae0a34_715x489.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Joy is a necessity, especially in dark times. Fritz Kreisler, who wrote beautiful sentimental pieces for violin, also served in the trenches in World War I, a horrible war fought for the pleasure of aristocracy, costing millions of lives, accomplishing nothing except to lay the groundwork for World War II, and there we sat Sunday night feasting on his music. He&#8217;d seen death and destruction and he chose to write about elegance and the good life.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Big cities have been hit hard by economic change. The downtowns of my childhood are hollowed out, the big department stores I loved as a kid are only a memory. But cities are still home to the fine arts, and the fine arts &#8212; as I found Sunday &#8212; are for everyone; we ignorant peasants can be stunned, maybe even more than the cognoscenti who could be troubled by the tiny slip in the B-sharp gliss in the 87</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> bar of the Rimsky-Korsakov. I&#8217;m an old plow horse of a writer but I can go to the Frick and be moved by the paintings, unaware that the man standing next to me did his doctoral thesis on Hans Holbein&#8217;s portrait of Sir Thomas More. Stand in front of the picture for five minutes, it has something to give you, you don&#8217;t need a certificate on the wall.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">New York is still a Midway of wonders, even for a Minnesotan like me. Google is a wonderful invention, like the telescope, but you still need to be in the midst of humanity to experience life. Sunday night was a miracle. But you had to be there in the midst of the audience to fully realize it. There were plenty of violinists in the seats, but we plow horses were delighted too. And then went home.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/59531477-ee5a-4c98-8550-9a88f49a4328?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a0e9f08f-b6c2-4415-8d8f-75a4dd219353_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:464301,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190538287?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa0e9f08f-b6c2-4415-8d8f-75a4dd219353_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="317.5524861878453" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!HRnc!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa0e9f08f-b6c2-4415-8d8f-75a4dd219353_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190538287&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwNTM4Mjg3LCJpYXQiOjE3NzMyMzUwMDgsImV4cCI6MTc3NTgyNzAwOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Uz5qD1CROeXnLD1Sswi4pTiDVXrJzj_-84EI6MP6Yu0&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190538287&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwNTM4Mjg3LCJpYXQiOjE3NzMyMzUwMDgsImV4cCI6MTc3NTgyNzAwOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Uz5qD1CROeXnLD1Sswi4pTiDVXrJzj_-84EI6MP6Yu0" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Garrison Keillor is back on the road. Come see a live show this spring!</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/a8b72545-208d-46b6-92ef-8dfa7d95115d?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> for schedule and tickets.</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table 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auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzEzMjIxMzAwLjMuZDgwNDEwMWUwZmI0NmIyYUBtZy1kMS5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQxLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MDg4ODE4MiwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM0NDAwMzIsImV4cCI6MTc3NjAzMjAzMiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.R8c2nr_KqI2W2gdz-kOhX9qU2c_-9asusHaQKxpFs40" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.13.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190888182&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwODg4MTgyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM0NDAwMzEsImV4cCI6MTc3NjAzMjAzMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.TZoU8PIlS1A0nSizQEXfTf-fU4eou0Y5hm6rh6MsQbU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The old man is in good hands</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.13.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-13T22:13:00.028Z">Mar 13</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.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.k349GVBfXVzxPb8YVolSP48DvMSZPMWI8vdKfYi5d60?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=190888182" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A day of false summer last week, 80 degrees in Manhattan, and I headed to my physical therapy appointment to improve my busted left shoulder. The PT establishment is in a deep storefront with workout machines and padded tables along the sides, which brings back miserable memories of high school phy-ed, the chin-up bar and rope climb, the padded mats on the gym floor and the waist-high barrier that we were supposed to take a running dive over and somersault forward. Gymnastics, for me, was public humiliation. I&#8217;ve avoided gyms ever since.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/4e618392-6780-469b-a503-7f4f211d4af9?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/cd8218f2-19d8-4a10-a77c-32285aee49d2_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:257508,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190888182?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcd8218f2-19d8-4a10-a77c-32285aee49d2_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!XlH4!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fcd8218f2-19d8-4a10-a77c-32285aee49d2_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>But this is a commercial enterprise, so it&#8217;s a welcoming place, no chin-ups or diving. The therapists are young and trim, in black workout clothes, friendly, professional, and the clientele is older, all shapes and sizes, fatties, skinnies, the lame and hobbling, wizened geezers, folks in discomfort, complainers. The therapists say, &#8220;We&#8217;re going to get you back to better than ever,&#8221; and the clients think, &#8220;Why did this have to happen to </span><em>me</em><span>?&#8221;</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My left shoulder is stiff and achy and Michaela manipulates it for a while, asking, &#8220;Tell me how painful this is, on a scale of one to ten,&#8221; and then I lie on the table, lifting my left arm twenty times, then resting, then twenty more. Some people I see look as if they were distinguished at some point, execs, Columbia profs, maybe an M.D., but now we are here simply as two-legged creatures trying to recover some basic creaturely skills.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">The old gent standing ten feet away in gym pants and T-shirt, I&#8217;ll bet you, once was a suit-and-tie guy planning marketing objectives and now he is squeezing a rolled-up towel twenty times with his left hand, then twenty with the right. We&#8217;re all in the same boat. Thanks to simple repetitive exercises over the past two weeks, I can now, with the help of the left arm, pull on my trousers while standing up, which is an important accomplishment for a man. Inability would be a sign that Shady Acres lies ahead, a life of soft food and gin rummy.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/383fe6a3-ae3b-41c7-b397-fa94a5fd6e08?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/edf14af0-f560-4f55-be71-26061f70ce64_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:148472,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190888182?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fedf14af0-f560-4f55-be71-26061f70ce64_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!cUXT!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fedf14af0-f560-4f55-be71-26061f70ce64_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">PT is a merciful business, the idea of young people helping a man of 83 put on his pants. What does an 83-year-old offer society anyway? He is an alien in the world of influencers. I ought to hire a 10-year-old to help me turn on my TV. I read last week that the average price of a new car now is fifty grand, a fact I&#8217;m unable to get my head around. My first car, a gift from my dad, was a used 1956 Ford he gave me in 1960 and he paid $300 for it.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I handed out pamphlets for John F. Kennedy in the fall of 1960, and now we see candidates for public office who walk and talk like Nazis &#8212; and attract big crowds. Mr. Kennedy would not recognize Washington today. Some days the news is a nightmare. Some days an old man reads the news and finds himself in a foreign country, which is what I like about Manhattan, it feels like the old America I come from. It feels timeless.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I have an appointment on the East Side and Lenny the doorman at our building dashes out into the street and flings his left arm in the air and emits a piercing two-finger whistle just as a New York doorman should, but it&#8217;s a lost art. Lenny is from Brazil. They had to go to Brazil to find a man who can do the two-finger whistle that makes a taxi take a sharp U-turn.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Where&#8217;d you learn to do that?&#8221; I said.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;I went to school for that.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;Columbia?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;I&#8217;m not from Columbia, I&#8217;m from Brazil.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;People are talking about you up and down the West Side.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;I can wait.&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/37f5bb11-4277-4740-8466-165eb98428a7?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/761a9b80-6ccb-4a5f-b15a-6bcb972fcdfb_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:382027,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/190888182?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F761a9b80-6ccb-4a5f-b15a-6bcb972fcdfb_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!A-76!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F761a9b80-6ccb-4a5f-b15a-6bcb972fcdfb_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">He got me an ace cabbie who headed for the East Side, having no patience for sightseers, fearless, enterprising, who pulled up at the doctor&#8217;s door, and I pressed the buzzer and waited. Pressed it again. And a uniformed man came running up, the doorman from next door, holding out a fistful of twenties. &#8220;You left these in the cab,&#8221; he said. I took it. The cab was gone. I looked the doorman in the eye: &#8220;Your mother said you were a good man and I agree with her.&#8221; I tipped him a twenty. He tried to wave it away but I insisted. It&#8217;s a dark world and good deeds make you want to stick around for a while.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190888182&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwODg4MTgyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM0NDAwMzEsImV4cCI6MTc3NjAzMjAzMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.TZoU8PIlS1A0nSizQEXfTf-fU4eou0Y5hm6rh6MsQbU&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=190888182&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkwODg4MTgyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM0NDAwMzEsImV4cCI6MTc3NjAzMjAzMSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.TZoU8PIlS1A0nSizQEXfTf-fU4eou0Y5hm6rh6MsQbU" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">See where Garrison Keillor is performing next and catch his upcoming live shows &#8212; an evening of storytelling, poetry, music and the beloved News from Lake Wobegon.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/ffc450f8-c366-4e6a-b5a4-9fb18dd6fadc?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> to check the full tour schedule.</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="592" style="text-align: center;"><a 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.pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzE4MTAwMjQ5LjMuYmQwMWMxOGYzOTI4ODg0NkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MTI4NzI5OSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM4Mjg2OTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NjQyMDY5MSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.RofOGDxk-XLHeX_dIvkT9NDHx6E6iiIaqVoRYRr6E0c" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.16.26</div><div class="preview" 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGd2hhdC1pLWtuZXctd2hlbi1pLXdhcy0xNCIsInAiOjE5MTI4NzI5OSwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1Ijo3NTgxOTM0NiwiaWF0IjoxNzczODI4NjkwLCJleHAiOjIwODk0MDQ2OTAsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoibGluay1yZWRpcmVjdCJ9.I2B5peFZ2S0lni2kiPEjiwjeTCgNX-G3Le1sVY7YLbw?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=191287299&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkxMjg3Mjk5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzM4Mjg2OTAsImV4cCI6MTc3NjQyMDY5MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.4LdvT4Nwutt9Qsulmr9iZpYtz7IpUa4WstGIwShGfsA" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">What I knew when I was 14</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.16.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-18T10:02:49.425Z">Mar 18</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=191287299&utm_source=substack&isFreemail=true&submitLike=true&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkxMjg3Mjk5LCJyZWFjdGlvbiI6IuKdpCIsImlhdCI6MTc3MzgyODY5MCwiZXhwIjoxNzc2NDIwNjkwLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMjkyMDc1Iiwic3ViIjoicmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.AvgQfV3lVFu9Ms93SawbJ-dNUZLF19-DBML31TfvOrc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-reaction&r=1952ky" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe 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href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPXBvc3QmdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWVtYWlsLWNoZWNrb3V0Jm5leHQ9aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZnYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tJTJGcCUyRndoYXQtaS1rbmV3LXdoZW4taS13YXMtMTQmcj0xOTUya3kmdG9rZW49ZXlKMWMyVnlYMmxrSWpvM05UZ3hPVE0wTml3aWFXRjBJam94Tnpjek9ESTROamt3TENKbGVIQWlPakUzTnpZME1qQTJPVEFzSW1semN5STZJbkIxWWkweU9USXdOelVpTENKemRXSWlPaUpqYUdWamEyOTFkQ0o5Lmdyd29BQ2Y0aWt4cWNCVUtXMlRYZDlUVVRYSm5VZVBVVU5OcVZBWG5ZVjgiLCJwIjoxOTEyODcyOTksInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc3MzgyODY5MCwiZXhwIjoyMDg5NDA0NjkwLCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.eQdC8tGU_eaQsO56JkBvtSzkQEN-5LZOW14AQOgXOEU?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=191287299" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I don&#8217;t want to make a big fuss about this but when somebody does something for me, such as the guy who opened the door for me at Trader Joe&#8217;s, and I said, &#8220;Thank you,&#8221; I wish he hadn&#8217;t said, &#8220;No problem.&#8221; Back in the day, he would&#8217;ve said, &#8220;You&#8217;re welcome,&#8221; which sounds more elegant to me, or even &#8220;My pleasure,&#8221; which is downright friendly, whereas &#8220;No problem&#8221; sounds dismissive, a shrug. He was in his twenties, I&#8217;m old enough to be his grandpa, and of course I am capable of opening a door and I know it wasn&#8217;t a problem for him &#8212; my gratitude was for his good manners. I am grateful for his respect. I could&#8217;ve opened the door for him and extended my hand, to say, &#8220;After you, please&#8221; and he might&#8217;ve said, &#8220;Thank you.&#8221; It&#8217;s mannerly, a simple way of indicating that we each belong here, we have a right to respect, are not opponents engaged in a struggle for dominance. We are not raccoons. If we don&#8217;t maintain our good manners, we may soon slide to the level of filthy savages who crap in our pants and shove each other aside and say, &#8220;Outta my way, scumbag loser, or I&#8217;ll kick the daylights outta you.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Well, now I have made a big fuss about it, so I may as well continue. I was a shy kid who shrank from playground bullies so my third-grade teacher let me stay in the library during recess and I became a reader. I enjoyed Mark Twain, Robert Benchley, James Thurber, but I mostly loved history.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/c7f5197d-5a7c-4e4b-89b2-cc36097786e6?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/467ad2a2-f5fc-4ce3-a214-8773070e7fdd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:169112,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/191287299?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F467ad2a2-f5fc-4ce3-a214-8773070e7fdd_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vKrn!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F467ad2a2-f5fc-4ce3-a214-8773070e7fdd_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I loved to listen to my aunts tell stories about their schooldays and life on the farm and the hardships of the Great Depression and this led to curiosity about World War II &#8212; I was born in 1942 &#8212; and what interested me more than bird&#8217;s-eye accounts of military campaigns and the calculations of major powers were the stories of individuals, and the book that moved me most was </span><em>Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl</em><span>, which I read when I was 14.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Anne, a Jewish girl in Amsterdam, began writing the diary in 1942, a month before I was born, when she was 13. She and her family went into hiding in the attic of her father&#8217;s business after her older sister was ordered to report to a Nazi work camp. They were discovered in 1944 and sent to concentration camps where Anne died of typhus shortly before the war ended in 1945.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Fascism was built on the idea of racial/cultural superiority and Jews were the despised minority, and the power of the book is the plain humanity of the writer. Reading it, you come to feel you are her closest friend.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/82f7a7d7-a769-4ebf-b70d-3baddbe9cd61?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e0333efb-55bb-4d6b-bfb2-d31ad4230549_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:423713,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/191287299?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe0333efb-55bb-4d6b-bfb2-d31ad4230549_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8F6Q!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe0333efb-55bb-4d6b-bfb2-d31ad4230549_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She talks about wanting to be a writer, about America, Hollywood, she longs to have a close friend, and she writes, &#8220;In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">She sits in a corner of the crowded attic, she can hear the patrols in the streets, Germans and their Dutch sycophants, searching for Jews, but she herself has some idea of the power of what she is doing. She says she wants to be useful, wants to go on living after her death. She says, &#8220;The sharpest weapon is a kind and gentle spirit.&#8221; Sometimes she despairs, says she can&#8217;t do anything to change things, so what&#8217;s the point in living? But she takes satisfaction in writing. &#8220;Who else but me will read these letters?&#8221; she says, and yet, when I was 14 and her reader, I honestly felt that she knew I was there looking over her shoulder.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">&#8220;I live in a crazy time,&#8221; she wrote. So do we. A neo-Nazi candidate for governor draws big crowds in Florida and social media and podcasting have been a fertile field for all varieties of insanity that, back when we were a coherent nation with standards of decency, would not have been allowed on the air. The term &#8220;Christian nationalism,&#8221; which is a plain contradiction, is now in common usage.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Still, I believe that people are good at heart. I believe that it will all come right. Dear Lord, haste the day.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="480" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/d5c9db58-fcd0-43b8-8138-c57d12dc5386?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';padding-bottom: 0;margin-top: 0;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/82efc8b3-9924-4246-aae1-fec775807e6f?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" style="color: rgb(119,119,119);text-decoration: none;display: inline-block;margin: 0 4px;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IzGP!,w_262,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fgeneric-app-button%402x.png" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!DIki!,w_131,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fgeneric-app-button.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IzGP!,w_262,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fgeneric-app-button%402x.png 2x, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QWua!,w_393,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fgeneric-app-button%403x.png 3x" width="131" alt="Get the app" height="40" style="max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9zdWJzdGFjay5jb20vc2lnbnVwP3V0bV9zb3VyY2U9c3Vic3RhY2smdXRtX21lZGl1bT1lbWFpbCZ1dG1fY29udGVudD1mb290ZXImdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWF1dG9maWxsZWQtZm9vdGVyJmZyZWVTaWdudXBFbWFpbD1yc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tJnI9MTk1Mmt5IiwicCI6MTkxMjg3Mjk5LCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImYiOnRydWUsInUiOjc1ODE5MzQ2LCJpYXQiOjE3NzM4Mjg2OTAsImV4cCI6MjA4OTQwNDY5MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJsaW5rLXJlZGlyZWN0In0.fyZYKz_flqe0pPIQ9CZ1hJ7Dnp08fu7Blw24x-ZNuk0?" style="color: rgb(119,119,119);text-decoration: none;display: inline-block;margin: 0 4px;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LkrL!,w_270,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%402x.png" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wgfj!,w_135,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button.png, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!LkrL!,w_270,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%402x.png 2x, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!KjtY!,w_405,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2Fimg%2Femail%2Fpublish-button%403x.png 3x" width="135" alt="Start writing" height="40" style="max-width: 550px;border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;"></a></p></div></div></td><td></td></tr></tbody></table><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzE4MTAwMjQ5LjMuYmQwMWMxOGYzOTI4ODg0NkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MTI4NzI5OSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJib3R0b20iLCJpYXQiOjE3NzM4Mjg2OTEsImV4cCI6MTc3NjQyMDY5MSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.7u6mrzvsAuGaoTvNzJJp5S9Tdd_RQbRbyMc505xD15g" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" src="https://email.mg-d0.substack.com/o/eJxEkF2q6yAURkdT327wJzH64FiCundzpUbLVnvI7A9pC-d1fbBYfNF33Cud7llbZ-C08vcFGDqxrspIo-3C8PApbzsWJN8RNt__VmGUZP-d5dEIHbgHHuwaVNDLwm20CmajlNQsOcml5koYwbmc7aSmAFxEYe7KSmPMrG8zP_Z_wKc2Qus-PqZYD5badid8J7hOA9kVuvkBCUtEhy-ks5YvTuCEFdKs0toP6ecTXcGflrF3JPYcYYv1OEZJ_dyw-JARvuIRcoq-p1oukbSSrwsjR63dZh5rIQ-EZ6kZ2jutjQD18Km43ROlVssDU86VWP_cORrSpVoXI6yaNXs5-RsAAP__J1F6cg"></body></html> 3312253e-22d3-11f1-8d9f-0a39ee06db20Wed, 18 Mar 2026 10:03:11 GMT2026-03-20 Garrison Keillor<html style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>Laying on the table, so to speak</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { .typography .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.image-wrapper img, .typography .markup table.kindle-wrapper img, .typography.editor .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), 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.typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzIwMTAwMzIwLjMuZmIyNGYxZTFlYmE2Mjc5NkBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MTQ3OTMwOCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQwMDE0NTAsImV4cCI6MTc3NjU5MzQ1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.P1f3cjpRg_vSXs6aoukrUY94GJ0gsbhnyvm75mlJbRc" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.19.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=191479308&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkxNDc5MzA4LCJpYXQiOjE3NzQwMDE0NTAsImV4cCI6MTc3NjU5MzQ1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.fdonwjIliRjjelg0zPNHGcqcaTguBsPzYaZK6TuMrQU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Laying on the table, so to speak</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.19.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-20T10:03:20.537Z">Mar 20</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I took a cab over to the East Side to see my surgeon Thursday, always an interesting experience to chat with a man who took a sharp blade and made a hole in me and messed around with internal things. I was unconscious at the time and it was only my shoulder, he wasn&#8217;t inside my skull where language is stored and the neurology that enables you to walk and be mannerly and remember the jokes and also the Beatitudes, but still.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="467" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/e6c17840-d276-4d89-af3f-3bdedb6940bc?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/56f7648e-7889-4359-a240-0f0ea66c8f62_721x485.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:485,&quot;width&quot;:721,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:467,&quot;bytes&quot;:218793,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/191479308?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F56f7648e-7889-4359-a240-0f0ea66c8f62_721x485.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="467" height="314.1400832177531" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!kXUW!,w_467,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F56f7648e-7889-4359-a240-0f0ea66c8f62_721x485.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My primary doc chose him because his doctor friends told him that Sam is the best shoulder man in New York and my primary man is very well connected. You don&#8217;t want to be looking through the Yellow Pages or googling, you want to get the inside scoop, and doctors gossip about each other and know who&#8217;s who. You don&#8217;t recommend a surgeon just because he&#8217;s a golf partner. This is one difference between medicine and politics: competence is expected. If Sam had been like the guys masterminding the war on Iran, he would&#8217;ve replaced my shoulder with my right ankle.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">He is a friendly guy, he asked me how I&#8217;m doing, I said, &#8220;I&#8217;m able to put on my pants while standing up, I don&#8217;t need to sit on the bed.&#8221; He said, &#8220;That&#8217;s good.&#8221; He said, &#8220;Lay down on the table.&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I liked that. You don&#8217;t &#8220;lay&#8221; on the table, you &#8220;lie&#8221; on the table. This tells me he wasn&#8217;t an English major, which is to his credit. I was one because I wanted to be a writer, which is like majoring in chemistry because you want to be a bartender. But I don&#8217;t want my surgeon to come to medicine by way of Shakespeare or James Joyce. I don&#8217;t want a surgeon who is self-conscious and who thinks of me as a metaphor.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/d79cfd1b-66b8-4604-ab6a-4b22579c3284?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/21156480-15af-40c5-97a6-1ca247e02e8a_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:482,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:158115,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/191479308?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F21156480-15af-40c5-97a6-1ca247e02e8a_724x482.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="316.89502762430936" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!MO3A!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F21156480-15af-40c5-97a6-1ca247e02e8a_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">He flexed my arm and shoulder, testing range of motion, showed me a couple of simple stretching exercises to do twice daily, and said he&#8217;d see me again in two months. I think you can tell a lot about a doctor by his tactile style, you don&#8217;t want to sense hesitance, you want to sense confidence, but you can feel that the doc is aware that you&#8217;re a living human being, not a plaster model.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>It isn&#8217;t important to me that Sam went to Harvard. I don&#8217;t hold his Harvardity against him either. If I knew he had voted for Trump in 2024, I&#8217;d be off the table and out the door, goodbye, have a nice life. I&#8217;m okay with the fact he&#8217;s a serious skier, it means he probably has some orthopedic problems of his own. If his hobby were stand-up comedy, I&#8217;d be, like, </span><em>Uhhh, let me think about this. </em><span>Comedy is self-deprecating and I don&#8217;t look for that in a doctor. A dancer? Okay. A flamenco guitarist? Great. A poet? I&#8217;m outta here.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;ve read a lot about crises in American health care and I don&#8217;t disagree with any of it, but medicine has been awfully good to me. Open-heart surgery came along in 1952, and fifty years later, when I needed it, it was almost routine, and it has given me thirty extra years (and counting) beyond what relatives had who were born with the same congenital heart defect. The valve problem was detected by my cousin Dan, who&#8217;s a doctor and who listened to my radio show and heard shortness of breath and sent me to Mayo where they sent me up to surgery.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="476" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/35bf071d-58b7-4b6f-84d4-a0d9314ead9b?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f222e580-44eb-48c2-b907-2797099af17c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:476,&quot;bytes&quot;:493160,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/191479308?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff222e580-44eb-48c2-b907-2797099af17c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="476" height="317.5524861878453" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!y1lZ!,w_476,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff222e580-44eb-48c2-b907-2797099af17c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It changes your point of view, to be given the gift of life. I was brought up by evangelicals so I am no good at cursing, I just don&#8217;t have the language for it. I&#8217;ve heard third-graders use obscenities with authority that, coming from me, would be ridiculous. I once played Scrabble with my wife and noticed, on my letter rack, a four-letter obscenity that I could&#8217;ve played for 47 points and I did not. She is a kind loving woman but she is also a driver in Manhattan and in that role, she employs an amazing range of profanity. I love to sit next to her and listen. For me, &#8220;Oh for heaven&#8217;s sake&#8221; is about my limit.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">But when you&#8217;ve had your heart repaired several times, and a pacemaker installed in your chest, and a man has replaced your busted shoulder, and you partake of daily pills that ward off seizures and other mishaps, you welcome the day with gratitude. Thanks for reading. God bless us.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=191479308&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkxNDc5MzA4LCJpYXQiOjE3NzQwMDE0NTAsImV4cCI6MTc3NjU5MzQ1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.fdonwjIliRjjelg0zPNHGcqcaTguBsPzYaZK6TuMrQU&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=191479308&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkxNDc5MzA4LCJpYXQiOjE3NzQwMDE0NTAsImV4cCI6MTc3NjU5MzQ1MCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.fdonwjIliRjjelg0zPNHGcqcaTguBsPzYaZK6TuMrQU" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Garrison Keillor is on the road. Come see his live show at a city near you this spring!</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/3e6e3d92-2f3f-4a6b-bd11-d7a0048da49c?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> for tickets.</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;margin-bottom: 0;"><figure style="width: 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a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography, .typography.editor { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right), .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, .typography .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset, .typography.editor .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, .typography.editor .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed, .typography .markup .tweet, .typography.editor .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-text, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzI1MjA0ODI2LjMuYjFlODY0ZTg0YzY1ZmNjZEBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MjE0MTE3MCwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQ0NzE3NjIsImV4cCI6MTc3NzA2Mzc2MiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.a_6TRh-J_kggKIavyJ56r78ihaitmsqyr8UwYDJxqb8" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.23.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=192141170&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkyMTQxMTcwLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQ0NzE3NjEsImV4cCI6MTc3NzA2Mzc2MSwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.3fVqF2P3GMMbcaBYyJ7Jt26t0Naa0tGlCHQs40z4XwU" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">Learning from experience to dissolve situations</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.23.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-25T20:48:26.201Z">Mar 25</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPXBvc3QmdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWVtYWlsLWNoZWNrb3V0Jm5leHQ9aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZnYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tJTJGcCUyRmxlYXJuaW5nLWZyb20tZXhwZXJpZW5jZS10by1kaXNzb2x2ZSZyPTE5NTJreSZ0b2tlbj1leUoxYzJWeVgybGtJam8zTlRneE9UTTBOaXdpYVdGMElqb3hOemMwTkRjeE56WXhMQ0psZUhBaU9qRTNOemN3TmpNM05qRXNJbWx6Y3lJNkluQjFZaTB5T1RJd056VWlMQ0p6ZFdJaU9pSmphR1ZqYTI5MWRDSjkuV3JLQUhxU1dFODhzZzFjTV9JVzB5bGh4dzNYRm1pZk9WZ1FCRGlzT2Q3dyIsInAiOjE5MjE0MTE3MCwicyI6MjkyMDc1LCJmIjp0cnVlLCJ1Ijo3NTgxOTM0NiwiaWF0IjoxNzc0NDcxNzYxLCJleHAiOjIwOTAwNDc3NjEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0wIiwic3ViIjoibGluay1yZWRpcmVjdCJ9.10esPvTzluGCj4EhoyDPeOsXvSNmLEA5RbsUBBMms2s?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=192141170" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I am a Minnesotan, I speak the language, it&#8217;s my home so dear and its name is a beacon bright and clear. I attended the University of Minnesota and majored in English, which prepared me for a career in valet parking. I wanted to be a writer so I drank heavily and tried out all the illicit drugs offered to me but the good stuff went to the coasts, and the Midwest got hashish that was less potent than used coffee grounds. I never got high until I had two wisdom teeth extracted and was anesthetized.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="580" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/3646b4bd-a49e-4057-8be7-eed049c55a37?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/8c6d3478-4013-4079-8bee-de3eeb535536_809x432.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:432,&quot;width&quot;:809,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:580,&quot;bytes&quot;:373606,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192141170?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c6d3478-4013-4079-8bee-de3eeb535536_809x432.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="293.69592088998763" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7B0Q!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8c6d3478-4013-4079-8bee-de3eeb535536_809x432.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I went into treatment for naivete and it helped. Minnesota is a national headquarters for the recovery industry, where you&#8217;ll find enormous camps for drunks where they listen to lectures and break into small groups to talk about their emotionally unavailable parents who failed to vindicate their personhood. There are programs for people in grief at the loss of a pet, people who want to stop being Scandinavian, people suffering from traumatic taciturnity. I suffer from a fear of leaving food on my plate and scraping it into the garbage and I&#8217;m sure there is a group for me.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I&#8217;m a writer and I could live in a lighthouse in the Orkneys but I moved to New York because I fell in love with a New Yorker. She thought I was cool because I had copies of </span><em>The New Yorker </em><span>around my apartment but they were delivered by mistake. Wrong address. I discovered that I could cure my Minnesota accent by sticking a piece of adhesive tape on the underside of my tongue, which makes me sound like a Harvard graduate.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">We live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Unitarians live over on the East Side, people who don&#8217;t recognize badness but see it as a misunderstanding, the result of not having been read to as a child. The Upper West Side is the domain of Jewish mothers who know right from wrong and tell wrong to take a hike, which gives us Episcopalians permission to do likewise. Being from Minnesota, however, I hesitate to stick my nose out. I am modest to a fault.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="557" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/0b2c5e0a-1617-42e9-8e43-d9e692bdfd03?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img class="wide-image" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/18fee593-dfc1-4b5e-97dc-52585f4bbe43_788x443.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:443,&quot;width&quot;:788,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:557,&quot;bytes&quot;:471264,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192141170?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18fee593-dfc1-4b5e-97dc-52585f4bbe43_788x443.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="550" height="309.2005076142132" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NHCL!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18fee593-dfc1-4b5e-97dc-52585f4bbe43_788x443.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I only raise my voice at athletic events. I decline compliments. I&#8217;m not good with profanity. The difference between a Minnesotan and a New Yorker is this: ask a Minnesotan what kind of salad dressing he&#8217;d like, ranch, balsamic vinaigrette, Italian, Russian, honey mustard, Caesar, or blue cheese, he says, &#8220;Whatever is easier for you, whichever you have more of, whatever nobody else wants.&#8221; Ask a New Yorker, he says, &#8220;How about tahini muscatel?&#8221;</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Minnesota could&#8217;ve been French, you know. Louis XIV sent explorers here to scout the place, Marquette and La Salle, but changed his mind. It&#8217;s not a good climate for wine. A Minnesota Bordeaux has the bouquet of crabgrass and the texture of potatoes; our Pinot Noir tastes like peanut oil.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Minnesota was a techno hot spot years ago but the brightest minds went West and now we&#8217;re the No. 1 producer of turkeys, high-strung birds with a teeny brain and enormous torso and fragile ankles who are prone to panic and in a thunderstorm. Google may be developing a robo-app called Gobble that can manage turkey breeding, and then the state will become a vast turkey concentration camp run from an underground control center, a hundred million birds auto-fed round-the-clock, a sedative added to prevent panic, which could result in a million birds with broken ankles. The turkeys&#8217;d be herded by bird dogs to the butchering mills to be gutted, defeathered, flavoring injected to make the meat taste turkeyish, and shrink-wrapped for market.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="470" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/389a13bf-4d87-4ba4-b368-570497bd5838?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/294e7df2-5957-46be-b031-b2d8ef0cd44a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:470,&quot;bytes&quot;:385381,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192141170?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F294e7df2-5957-46be-b031-b2d8ef0cd44a_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="470" height="313.5497237569061" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qI-b!,w_470,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F294e7df2-5957-46be-b031-b2d8ef0cd44a_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">One of these days, you&#8217;ll read that Minnesota has been bought by Amazon, twenty thousand square miles of turkeys, run by a couple hundred truck drivers and four mathematicians. During busy times, truckloads of undocumented Canadians will come over the border to do the butchering and hatch the eggs. Minneapolis, St. Paul, Duluth, and Rochester will survive, the small towns will disappear, and Jeff Bezos will have two seats in the U.S. Senate.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;m not one of those old people who lament the loss of the old days. I prefer pastrami to turkey. My sweetie and I are both wired into ConjugalGPT, which reads brainwaves with generative preference transformers to create artificial infatuation and we exist in a state of bliss, no questions asked. Yes, I am a robot. 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auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwMzI3MTcwNTU1LjMuYzJhOWNlZmQ1MjE2ZGQyMUBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MjMzMjI2MSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQ2MzEyMDgsImV4cCI6MTc3NzIyMzIwOCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.T_qxIbf-LrVNNpwF2f0leRncElKRlv8PvDrzFB3xP8Q" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.27.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;">Forwarded this email? <a class="pencraft pc-reset decoration-underline-ClTkYc reset-IxiVJZ" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2/eyJlIjoiaHR0cHM6Ly9nYXJyaXNvbmtlaWxsb3Iuc3Vic3RhY2suY29tL3N1YnNjcmliZT91dG1fc291cmNlPWVtYWlsJnV0bV9jYW1wYWlnbj1lbWFpbC1zdWJzY3JpYmUmcj0xOTUya3kmbmV4dD1odHRwcyUzQSUyRiUyRmdhcnJpc29ua2VpbGxvci5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20lMkZwJTJGYS1kZWNsYXJhdGlvbi1vZi1pbmRlcGVuZGVuY2UiLCJwIjoxOTIzMzIyNjEsInMiOjI5MjA3NSwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsImlhdCI6MTc3NDYzMTIwNywiZXhwIjoyMDkwMjA3MjA3LCJpc3MiOiJwdWItMCIsInN1YiI6ImxpbmstcmVkaXJlY3QifQ.up0C2Is68yzPTqxFFePz_FE7-8Pur5L8a2_tgbIIvBI?" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;-webkit-text-decoration-line: underline;text-decoration-line: underline;">Subscribe here</a> for more</span></div></span></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="post typography" dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=192332261&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkyMzMyMjYxLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQ2MzEyMDcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzIyMzIwNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Ctrh8a2CDy83RtqKK5aUpblVSK7QMjeE4C7QNT7A2Kk" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">A declaration of independence</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.27.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-03-27T17:05:55.505Z">Mar 27</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I&#8217;ve started a new career as a stand-up comic after fifty years in fiction and as anyone can see 2026 is the worst time to do comedy, maybe since the Middle Ages. We have a regime of wackos who are anti-science, anti-education and rather whimsical about raining deadly destruction on other people, and how do you satirize terminal stupidity? So I don&#8217;t. I go after Thoreau and his brand of individuals. &#8220;The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation&#8221; &#8212; horse hockey. I go out and do 90 minutes about the pleasure of being an elderly English-speaking American Episcopalian guy and people enjoy this. It&#8217;s about the pleasure of community.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/2b99c3a2-47de-4395-8ff3-269ef1f135fe?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/de7fe19c-1ffb-410d-84a0-0967369ed304_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:211555,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192332261?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fde7fe19c-1ffb-410d-84a0-0967369ed304_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8PsF!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fde7fe19c-1ffb-410d-84a0-0967369ed304_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Thoreau was the first in a long line of alienated loner cowboy poet heroes marching each to his own drummer, including plenty of felons and billionaires and sociopaths who drive cars with 95-decibel tailpipes and folks who get a kick out of blowing up things coming down to the current alienated loner Leader who had the power to pay the TSA workers but didn&#8217;t for five weeks while Americans waited in lines at airports for three and four hours. He has his own plane and doesn&#8217;t go through a metal detector. He ought to go through a soul detector.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It seems clear that it was an American missile that hit the Shajareh Tayyebeh Elementary School in southern Iran killing more than 170, most of them young girls, and if you have a heart, you can imagine the horror of little kids and teachers under a building collapsing on top of them, you can hear it and see it, but our Leader does not march to that drummer. Nor does he bother to argue that Iran posed such a threat to us that the wholesale bombing was justified.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I never mention him in my stand-up routine nor anything else on the front page of the paper. I grew up in a beautiful country and that country still exists. In Hudson Falls, New York, I gave 500 people the chance to sing &#8220;My country, &#8217;tis of thee, sweet land of liberty&#8221; and also &#8220;Abide with me, fast falls the eventide&#8221; and &#8220;Mama&#8217;s little baby loves shortnin&#8217; bread&#8221; and &#8220;They built the ship Titanic to sail the ocean blue&#8221; and they knew all the words, and then I sang </span><em>&#8220;</em><span>I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis, she tried to take me upstairs for a ride&#8221; and the whole crowd was right there &#8212; my people are good upstanding folks of gentle disposition, including a good many therapists, schoolteachers, geriatric psychologists, administrators of recovery programs, Methodists, but they felt a communal identity, they were not about to secede from the group, and we came to the chorus and they sang the </span><em>HONK-y tonk women </em><span>and really made it honk.</span></p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/af02b70d-67a5-4126-89ad-151e7757e860?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/cKaJrmxMJf4" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">They&#8217;d never been in a barroom in Memphis, wouldn&#8217;t know a woman of the night from a daycare director but this was the blues, American blues, as brought to America by a bunch of Brits, and they enjoyed being in that club of 500, not one Thoreau did I see who clapped his hand over his mouth. We even went on and sang the second verse about the divorcee from New York City who covered me in roses, she blew my nose and then she blew my mind, and we honked again.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">In twenty years, you won&#8217;t be able to stand up in front of a crowd and get them to sing the Rolling Stones&#8217; &#8220;Honky Tonk Women&#8221; because the internet and the cellphone enable everyone to find his or her own private cavern that&#8217;s all about coelacanths or arthropods or genderless people who wish to identify as carbon-based life-forms and everyone will have several podcasts of their own and there will be mighty few experiences common to all.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">So I&#8217;m going around preaching to the choir, reliving the old culture that&#8217;s fast disappearing. Every day, in Central Park, in Strawberry Fields, you find people sitting playing guitar and singing &#8220;Imagine&#8221; or &#8220;I Saw Her Standing There&#8221; or &#8220;Baby You Can Drive My Car&#8221; fifty years after those songs were hits. It&#8217;s sweet. People go to ball games because it&#8217;s the same as always, nobody has suggested changing three strikes to four or eliminating the shortstop to allow more scoring.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/af7eb8b7-ae40-405d-9937-2061f2cbdb14?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/99f6a336-f961-4716-915e-797b9aa8eda4_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:210420,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192332261?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F99f6a336-f961-4716-915e-797b9aa8eda4_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!FTbZ!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F99f6a336-f961-4716-915e-797b9aa8eda4_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I love being on the road, driving through Connecticut and down to Long Island, mixing with the customers. My parents never talked about politics: it was far away and they were focused on family, the immediate, work, play, weather. Let the angry young men and evangelicals who gave us these wackos take responsibility for it, and I intend to enjoy my life in my country. God bless it.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=192332261&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkyMzMyMjYxLCJpYXQiOjE3NzQ2MzEyMDcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzIyMzIwNywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.Ctrh8a2CDy83RtqKK5aUpblVSK7QMjeE4C7QNT7A2Kk&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" 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.tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, .typography .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four, .typography.editor .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, .typography.editor .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup .apple-podcast-container, .typography.editor .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { .typography .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link, .typography.editor .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container { height: 38px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.comment { height: 38px; line-height: 38px; padding-right: 10px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container .separator { display: block; margin: 0; height: 8px; border-left: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { .share-button-container a.share.first img { padding-left: 0; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { .share-button-container a.mobile { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container { padding: 36px; height: 680px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .settings-add-pub-modal-wrapper .container .add-recommending-pub-modal-container .footer { position: absolute; bottom: 36px; margin: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .header-anchor-parent { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .post { padding: 16px 0 0 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .post-label { margin-top: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-header .meta-author-wrap.alternative-meta .meta-right-column .post-meta { margin-top: 6px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .footer-facepile-container { height: 64px; padding: 0 16px; display: flex; align-items: center; justify-content: flex-start; width: 100%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.use-separators { justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwNDAxMTAwMzQwLjMuZDU3NzE2MWQzMzQxZGEwMEBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MjgwMDIyMSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUwMzg0ODgsImV4cCI6MTc3NzYzMDQ4OCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.5E4d-fQq9jq4b6y76M_9pboJlq7q9HkFv_epWPMS6vQ" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 03.30.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=192800221&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkyODAwMjIxLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUwMzg0ODcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzYzMDQ4NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.iUZR-tpaC0C1tTBybcHNZgMacogjp5kHbX1M4gpIbxM" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">A wonderful week, thanks</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 03.30.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-04-01T10:03:40.425Z">Apr 1</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8-Hm!,w_1100,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3e60dcd0-5e81-4dfe-a350-328fbf0865a6_1100x220.webp" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><div class="subscribe-widget is-signed-up" data-component-name="SubscribeWidget" style="margin: 0 0 1em;direction: ltr;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset button-wrapper" style="text-decoration: unset;list-style: none;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button subscribe-btn primary" href="https://substack.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.7khX9OZxWMQykjkBFcovUJhAIm43z1mV6w8ZJEBY5_g?&utm_medium=email&utm_source=subscribe-widget&utm_content=192800221" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">As I&#8217;ve said many times and I&#8217;ll say it again, life gets smaller as you get older and you delete things you don&#8217;t really care about such as folk dancing and canoeing and camping &#8212; camping is a refugee experience, I was a camp counselor for two summers, I lay on hard ground in a cloud of insects dealing with terrible constipation and every time I smell insect repellent or see an insulated vest, I thank the Lord, &#8220;Never again, thank you.&#8221; I gave up golf in my thirties, the sheer pointlessness of it. Some people tried to get me interested in bird-watching. Sweetheart, the birds know who they are and they don&#8217;t use our words for it, they have their own.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/8b9e4865-6683-463c-b4be-ae14c471d980?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6c3fa6f3-473f-43be-941e-bf31b2cc087c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:420546,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192800221?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6c3fa6f3-473f-43be-941e-bf31b2cc087c_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VObq!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6c3fa6f3-473f-43be-941e-bf31b2cc087c_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">No, what a man needs is someone to love and something to do that he loves to do and if possible a daughter. I have my true love and last week I went around and did a show and I sang and told stories and did stand-up and I never mentioned ***** except to say, &#8220;I am 83 and an optimist and I believe that one day soon the wackos who are in charge will return to their stone huts in the swamp and we will be free to be who we are, a kind and curious and generous people who&#8217;ve done great things in science and invention and extending their benefits to all.&#8221; And people cheered.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s Holy Week for us Christians and it&#8217;s lovely to be one in New York City where we&#8217;re a minority, just as it was in Jesus&#8217; time, and so it makes sense to love your neighbor. Many of my ancestors were illegal migrants: David Powell headed west in 1859 to look for silver and the Shoshone didn&#8217;t invite him to cross the Missouri, the Arapaho didn&#8217;t offer him a visa, he had to be civil to them, trade with them, hunt with them. He never found silver but he was okay with failure, it led him to discover other things such as community. He was in the territorial legislature that wrote Colorado&#8217;s state constitution. He was a flatlander who loved the mountains. He had a flock of children, including my great-great-grandfather. When I was a little boy, I lay on the floor listening to my aunt Ruth tell stories about him.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">I hope the people who came to the show remember it, and repeat the good lines, like &#8220;I&#8217;m married so I&#8217;m in Assisted Living, and I&#8217;m too old to do the things I never wanted to do anyway, like camping.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/02f4ba0e-5683-4775-aeb8-c2cfd52adaef?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/038302ca-5b33-483e-a5bf-db5f41a1abc9_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:474,&quot;bytes&quot;:542455,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/192800221?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F038302ca-5b33-483e-a5bf-db5f41a1abc9_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="474" height="316.2182320441989" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OxdB!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F038302ca-5b33-483e-a5bf-db5f41a1abc9_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>I said, &#8220;We may be the last generation that knows the words,&#8221; and Lord, those people loved to sing, &#8220;My country, &#8217;tis of thee&#8221; and &#8220;Great Balls of Fire&#8221;&#8212;they shouted the lines, mature educated decent people reliving their teens, and Beatles songs and &#8220;Auld Lang Syne&#8221; and I sang, &#8220;I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis&#8221; and </span><em>they knew the words </em><span>and when they sang &#8220;Honky tonk women,&#8221; they really honked.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">A lady in the front row yelled at me, &#8220;You need a hanky?&#8221; and I pulled out a hanky and blew my nose and she gave me a thumbs-up. I recited &#8220;When in disgrace with fortune and men&#8217;s eyes,&#8221; Shakespeare&#8217;s sonnet that my teacher Helen Story had me memorize in 1959 when I was 17 and it&#8217;s still there in my head, his words about the power of love to banish our troubles, and that&#8217;s what the evening was about. Surreal things are happening in America as you know if you look at the papers, men in paratrooper gear hanging out in airports, weird late-night posts on Truth Social, talk of &#8220;federalizing&#8221; the November election. We have a fourth grader for President and now he shows signs of dementia and his midnight posts on social media are weird beyond belief, and it&#8217;s good to go to Wilmington and the old opera house and hear a big crowd sing &#8220;America the Beautiful&#8221; in three-part harmony (there&#8217;s a tenor shortage these days).</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Keep the faith, my dears. Someday someone will write a book and explain how it all happened &#8212; is there a fungus among us? Were there asphalt germs in the shingles shots? Have Martians landed in the marshes and become federal marshals? Meanwhile, be nice to your neighborhood Christians. Resurrection. It&#8217;s impossible but we believe in it. Have a good eternity.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="474" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/fab1da6e-1d6e-4513-807f-9fbf376b34c0?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oGy_!,w_474,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe24ed672-6901-4e76-9459-1ba5821e3ff0_724x482.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" 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src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwNDAxMTAwMzQwLjMuZDU3NzE2MWQzMzQxZGEwMEBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MjgwMDIyMSwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJib3R0b20iLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUwMzg0ODgsImV4cCI6MTc3NzYzMDQ4OCwiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.zB-Z7byICQWy_x4ay1rUsUJ_kRCItLN8IRhQSQtJh-E" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><img width="1" height="1" alt="" src="https://email.mg-d0.substack.com/o/eJw8kEmOrDAQBU9T3n2UHsCw8FlQ4kz4Vhm75KFa3L5Vg3obTwqFnsfGRy6Xe-TaBLlJ4z6SYCetHUHPZgHBJ4a4Hpy4YGNasf2ts13sIv67bRq1mWCfvPczo9-lQvBkeQRi6RcRnAI1gQEpAbSBQQ80WisnSVobSQhwM3Ae_wiG2rfa0N8Hn08R6roXfie4VjqLV-iKnQInz46fXK6cvjiQk4uaAZSSH9KuB7vEPzVya1zEo2-rz-fZU2jXygm3yPQV9y0Gjy3k9BKpRYEdRXGl1psBn1NBKnylHKm-02rfKJ8YkjuwlFBzunOIMRfRPnf2yuWlsuMsF20m8XTqNwAA__9QXHt7"></body></html> 4b877da2-2dd3-11f1-a031-0a39ee06db20Wed, 01 Apr 2026 10:01:35 GMT2026-04-01 Garrison Keillor<html lang="en" dir="ltr" style="scrollbar-width: thin;scrollbar-color: rgb(219,219,219)rgb(255,255,255);"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><title>The Back Room's March story winner</title><style> @media (max-width: 1024px) { .typography .pullquote-align-left, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-left, .typography .pullquote-align-right, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-right, .typography .pullquote-align-wide, .typography.editor .pullquote-align-wide, .typography .pullquote-align-center, 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.typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } .typography .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child, .typography.editor .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.youtube-overlay, .typography .markup div.vimeo-overlay, .typography.editor .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .typography .markup div.tiktok-wrap, .typography.editor .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .typography .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe, .typography.editor .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), 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figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body 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.install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img 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style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">The Back Room's March story winner</a></h1><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-04-01T14:02:40.649Z">Apr 1</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkSy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb57f1e45-08fd-42bb-bd76-df43429237f4_988x988.png" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(0,0,0,.1);min-width: 100%;"><tbody><tr height="16"><td height="16" style="font-size:0px;line-height:0;">&nbsp;</td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><table role="presentation" width="38" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><a class="email-icon-button" 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dir="auto" style="--image-offset-margin: -120px;padding: 32px 0 0 0;font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><div class="post-header" role="region" aria-label="Post header" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;"><h1 class="post-title published title-X77sOw" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;color: rgb(54,55,55);font-family: Lora,sans-serif;font-weight: 600;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 0;line-height: 36px;font-size: 32px;"><a href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=192676958&utm_source=post-email-title&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkyNjc2OTU4LCJpYXQiOjE3NzUyMzU4MDYsImV4cCI6MTc3NzgyNzgwNiwiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.qQ5ytPcx-bDDPfJHReh34I_njjJ1JMLhoeeE6SMpxs0" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: none;">May events including APHC in Spokane</a></h1><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA custom-css-email-post-author" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><a class="pencraft pc-reset color-primary-zABazT line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;color: rgb(54,55,55);margin: 0;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-04-03T17:01:50.119Z">Apr 3</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!g1f7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5f190865-edee-414a-bffc-d7e1b0fb9b9a_3240x3240.jpeg" 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(max-width: 650px) { .post .post-footer.next-prev { height: 64px; justify-content: space-between; box-sizing: border-box; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-table-row { display: flex; flex-direction: row; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-userhead-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-cell { flex-grow: 1; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-body-table-row { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell, .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { display: block; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-copy-cell { margin: 0 0 16px 0; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls-cell { width: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls { margin: auto; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-controls .button.primary { width: 100%; } .post-contributor-footer .post-contributor-bio-text { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 768px) { .post-silhouette { padding: 32px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-title { margin-top: 10.44225025px; height: 120px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta { width: 75%; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-silhouette .post-silhouette-meta.with-byline-image { margin: 20px 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { padding-right: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 14px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .use-theme-bg .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication, .post-meta.alternative-meta .post-meta-item.guest-author-publication { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button { height: 36px !important; /* important to override in-line height style on emails */ } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button .meta-button-label { display: none; } .post-meta .post-meta-item .post-meta-button > svg { margin-right: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { .post-meta .post-meta-item { font-size: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post .floating-subscribe-button { bottom: 20px; right: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body .pullquote-align-left, body .pullquote-align-right, body .pullquote-align-wide, body .pullquote-align-center { float: none; margin: 0 auto; width: 100%; max-width: 100%; } } @media all and (-ms-high-contrast: none), (-ms-high-contrast: active) { body .markup table.image-wrapper img, body .markup table.kindle-wrapper img { max-width: 550px; } } @media (min-width: 1024px) { body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body:not(:has(#toc)) .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (min-width: 1300px) { body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left) { margin-left: var(--image-offset-margin); } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin-right: var(--image-offset-margin); } } @media (max-width: 1024px) { body { /* Disable offset on mobile/tablet */ } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) { float: none; margin: 1em auto; max-width: 100%; width: auto; padding: 0; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left.thefp), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right.thefp) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-left), body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-offset-right) { margin: 1em auto; } body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-left) .image2-inset, body .captioned-image-container figure:has(> a.image2-align-right) .image2-inset { display: block; justify-content: initial; } } @media (max-width: 768px) { body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed { margin-top: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; } body .markup div.sponsorship-campaign-embed:first-child { margin-top: 0px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.youtube-overlay, body .markup div.vimeo-overlay { display: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 370px) { body .markup div.tiktok-wrap { width: calc(95vw - 32px); height: calc((95vw - 32px - 2px) / 0.485714); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.embedded-publication-wrap .embedded-publication.show-subscribe { padding: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe { padding: 0px 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.subscription-widget-wrap-editor .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button, body .markup div.captioned-button-wrap .subscription-widget.show-subscribe .subscription-widget-subscribe .button { padding: 10px 12px; min-width: 110px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed, body .markup .tweet { padding: 12px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-text, body .markup .tweet .tweet-text { font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.two, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.three, body .markup .twitter-embed .tweet-photos-container.four, body .markup .tweet .tweet-photos-container.four { height: 200px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-img { max-height: 180px; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .twitter-embed a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description, body .markup .tweet a.expanded-link .expanded-link-description { display: none; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { body .markup .apple-podcast-container { width: unset; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed img.install-substack-app-embed-img { margin: 0 auto 16px auto; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-text { margin: 0 0 12px 0; max-width: 100%; width: auto; text-align: center; } } @media (max-width: 420px) { body .markup .install-substack-app-embed .install-substack-app-embed-link { display: flex; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { body .header a.logo { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 420px) { body .subscription-receipt table:first-of-type .subscription-amount .subscription-discount { width: 72px !important; } } @media screen and (min-width: 481px) { body .share-button-container { height: auto; } } @media screen and (max-width: 480px) { body .share-button-container .separator { display: block !important; margin: 0 !important; height: 8px !important; border-left: none !important; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .digest .item .post-meta-item.audience { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 500px) { .digest-publication .logo img { width: 42px; height: 42px; border-radius: 8px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comments-page .container .comment-list .collapsed-reply { margin-left: calc(10 + 32px - 24px); } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .comment > .comment-list { padding-left: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .finish-magic-login-modal .modal-content .container { padding: 24px 0; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-b3 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .reader2-text-h4 { line-height: 24px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .user-profile-modal { padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .subscribe-widget form.form .sideBySideWrap button.rightButton { padding: 10px 12px; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .pub-icon:hover .logo-hover, .feed-item-icon:hover .logo-hover { display: block; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper { width: 100%; padding: 16px; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button-wrapper:empty { display: none; } .post-ufi.single-full-width-button .post-ufi-button { width: 100%; justify-content: center; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor { padding: 0; } } @media screen and (max-width: 768px) { .file-embed-wrapper-editor:active { padding: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 650px) { .file-embed-button.wide, .file-embed-error-button.wide { display: none; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 630px) { .file-embed-button.narrow, .file-embed-error-button.narrow { display: none; } } @media screen and (min-width: 541px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player { min-width: 500px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress { border-left-width: 16px; border-right-width: 16px; } } @media screen and (max-width: 650px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-progress .audio-player-progress-bar .audio-player-progress-bar-popup { top: -54px; } } @media (min-width: 250px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player { padding: 32px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:last-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 300px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-title { margin-top: 16px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 15%; width: 15%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-substack-logo { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 350px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 25%; width: 25%; display: block; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { display: flex; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button:first-of-type { display: block; } } @media (min-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 40%; width: 40%; } } @media (max-width: 400px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group { margin-top: 12px; } .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .btn-group .button { font-size: 13px; padding: 6px 12px; height: auto; margin-top: 10px; } } @media (min-width: 600px) { .audio-player-wrapper-fancy .audio-player .audio-player-hero-image-container { padding-top: 55%; width: 55%; } } @media (max-width: 650px) { .poll-editor-modal { min-width: calc(100% - 20px); } } @media (max-width: 750px) { .poll-embed .poll-anchor-target .poll-anchor-copy-button { left: 8px; top: 45px; } }</style></head><body class="email-body" style="font-kerning: auto;--image-offset-margin: -120px;"><img src="https://eotrx.substackcdn.com/open?token=eyJtIjoiPDIwMjYwNDAzMTgwNTE3LjMuYmQyNmE2MmExOWQ2YjdkOEBtZy1kMC5zdWJzdGFjay5jb20-IiwidSI6NzU4MTkzNDYsInIiOiJyc3NAY29ucmFkcmV5bm9sZHMuY29tIiwiZCI6Im1nLWQwLnN1YnN0YWNrLmNvbSIsInAiOjE5MzA5NzA1MiwidCI6Im5ld3NsZXR0ZXIiLCJhIjoiZXZlcnlvbmUiLCJzIjoyOTIwNzUsImMiOiJwb3N0IiwiZiI6dHJ1ZSwicG9zaXRpb24iOiJ0b3AiLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUyMzk1ODcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzgzMTU4NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTAiLCJzdWIiOiJlbyJ9.YfSeTFioedC_OunSb1ce_biw4CcoX_jMYVsR9yPg4zc" alt="" width="1" height="1" border="0" style="height:1px !important;width:1px !important;border-width:0 !important;margin-top:0 !important;margin-bottom:0 !important;margin-right:0 !important;margin-left:0 !important;padding-top:0 !important;padding-bottom:0 !important;padding-right:0 !important;padding-left:0 !important;"/><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">The Column: 04.03.26</div><div class="preview" style="display:none;font-size:1px;color:#333333;line-height:1px;max-height:0px;max-width:0px;opacity:0;overflow:hidden;">&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; 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&#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;&#847; &nbsp; &#8199; &#173;</div><table class="email-body-container" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550"></td><td></td></tr><tr><td></td><td class="content" width="550" align="left"><div style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;max-width: 550px;width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;overflow-wrap: break-word;"><table role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td align="right" style="height:20px;"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ tw-font-body tw-text-ssm tw-text-substack-secondary" style="font-family: SF Pro Text, -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, Inter, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol;font-size: 13px;color: unset;list-style: none;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset align-right-VJbKw5 size-12-mmZ61m reset-IxiVJZ" style="list-style: none;color: unset;text-align: right;font-size: 12px;line-height: 16px;text-decoration: unset;margin: 0;"><span class="pencraft pc-reset reset-IxiVJZ" translated="" 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blanket with my baby is where I'd be</a></h1><h3 class="subtitle subtitle-HEEcLo" dir="auto" style="direction: auto;text-align: start;unicode-bidi: isolate;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: normal;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 4px 0 0;color: #777777;line-height: 24px;font-size: 18px;margin-top: 12px;">The Column: 04.03.26</h3><table class="post-meta" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="margin: 1em 0;height: 20px;align-items: center;"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" 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UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;text-decoration: none" href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor">Garrison Keillor</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr><tr><td><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><div class="pencraft pc-reset color-secondary-ls1g8s line-height-20-t4M0El font-meta-MWBumP size-11-NuY2Zx weight-medium-fw81nC transform-uppercase-yKDgcq reset-IxiVJZ meta-EgzBVA" style="list-style: none;font-size: 11px;line-height: 20px;text-decoration: unset;color: rgb(119,119,119);margin: 0;font-family: 'SF Compact',-apple-system,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: 500;text-transform: uppercase;letter-spacing: .2px;"><time datetime="2026-04-03T18:05:17.332Z">Apr 3</time></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td align="right"><table role="presentation" width="auto" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td style="vertical-align:middle;"><a href="https://substack.com/@garrisonkeillor"><img class="custom-css-email-avatar avatar-QIQ5yR" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!g1f7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5f190865-edee-414a-bffc-d7e1b0fb9b9a_3240x3240.jpeg" style="box-sizing: border-box;max-width: 550px;border: none;vertical-align: middle;width: 40px;height: 40px;min-width: 40px;min-height: 40px;object-fit: cover;margin: 0px;display: inline;border-radius: 50%" width="40" height="40"></a></td></tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table><table class="email-ufi-2-top" role="presentation" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" style="border-top: 1px solid 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border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;text-decoration: none !important;margin: 0 auto;background-color: #930e0f;color: #ffffff !important;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Upgrade to paid</span></a></div></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">It&#8217;s a dark time in our country, with the price of gas up high and so the cost of sending B-52s to bomb another country is making Wall Street nervous, and anyone throwing a party in April has to wonder what the festivity level will be and will all that pricey champagne go undrunk as people stand around moaning about the bad news we get constantly because the phone is right there in our pocket. Everybody needs a good party now and then and I mean serious silliness, not just wry irony.</p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="472" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/f1431781-c249-435d-a379-69608163c1d0?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/3f98d94b-52e2-4616-98fc-9786893aa2e7_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:483,&quot;width&quot;:724,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:472,&quot;bytes&quot;:373745,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/193097052?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3f98d94b-52e2-4616-98fc-9786893aa2e7_724x483.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="472" height="314.8839779005525" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uqms!,w_472,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3f98d94b-52e2-4616-98fc-9786893aa2e7_724x483.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>By &#8220;good party&#8221; I mean one where people get giddy on a glass of something and then the music starts and it&#8217;s loud enough to drown out all conversation and we hear a song from when we were 16 and suddenly we&#8217;re immature again and everyone dances with their hands in the air and sings Van Morrison&#8217;s great </span><em>O O O my brown-eyed girl, do you remember when we used to sing, SHA LA LA LA LA LA LA DE DA LA LA DE DA. </em><span>And even the guests who are in their 80s know the words because it&#8217;s from 1967 when they were twentyish. Old people are dancing wildly who didn&#8217;t think they could dance due to hip replacements and their neurologist recommended against it and pretty soon we&#8217;re singing &#8212; </span><em>Help me if you can, I&#8217;m feeling down, and I do appreciate you being &#8217;round. Help me get my feet back on the ground</em><span> and minutes ago we were responsible citizens concerned about birthright citizenship and now we&#8217;re wild pagans at a fertility festival.</span></p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Silliness is essential to human life, it&#8217;s proof that life can be joyful, we need not die from indifference.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Other countries have gone through times as hard as today&#8217;s. The Spartans of ancient Greece were brutal warriors who hacked their neighbors into submission and left no evidence of comedy behind. The inscriptions on those temples are, according to scholars, not funny. That&#8217;s why it was called the Dark Ages. (Or should it be &#8220;they were called the Dark Ages&#8221;?) Their deities were not amusing, Zeus in particular, whose way of dealing with opposition was senseless violence followed by casual sex with a mortal, transforming himself into a swan, a bull, whatever came to mind.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>The Romans tended to deify their tyrants, just as our Senate does today. Julius Caesar, as you know if you read the play that was assigned in 10</span><sup style="font-size: 0.75em;line-height: 0;">th</sup><span> grade English, was stabbed in his Senate, but never mind. Life was no picnic for the Romans. Every New Year&#8217;s Eve as you see the </span><em>annus </em><span>keep going down, down, down, and it&#8217;s 11 B.C. and then 10 and 9 and you have to wonder if the world is coming to an end or what?</span></p><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px auto;"><figure style="width: 100%;margin: 0 auto;"><table class="image-wrapper" width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" data-component-name="Image2ToDOMStatic" style="mso-padding-alt: 1em 0 1.6em;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="content" align="left" width="421" style="text-align: center;"><a class="image-link" target="_blank" href="https://substack.com/redirect/e9f34ea1-35be-4bbb-b2f1-f045dbc81a71?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="position: relative;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;padding: 0;width: auto;height: auto;border: none;text-decoration: none;display: block;margin: 0;"><img data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/1950206f-5814-4fb0-8d26-49a77c59fa7f_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:512,&quot;width&quot;:683,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:421,&quot;bytes&quot;:317159,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://garrisonkeillor.substack.com/i/193097052?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1950206f-5814-4fb0-8d26-49a77c59fa7f_683x512.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" alt="" width="421" height="315.5959004392387" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WZSP!,w_421,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1950206f-5814-4fb0-8d26-49a77c59fa7f_683x512.jpeg" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;display: block;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;height: auto;margin-bottom: 0;width: auto !important;max-width: 100% !important;margin: 0 auto;"></a></td><td style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table></figure></div><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">Meanwhile, everywhere I go today I hear people grumbling about the state of affairs when we could be singing about a girl named Sue who knew just what to do. When did we lose our sense of fun and become so earnest? I went to a ballet performance in Minneapolis a few years ago and a woman came out onstage before the curtain went up and said, &#8220;We wish to acknowledge that tonight&#8217;s performance takes place on land that was unfairly taken from the Lakota people.&#8221; Pointless symbolism that achieves nothing except to spritz a little sanctimony around.</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;">My generation produced so much great music that made people jump up and down and wave their arms in the air, and we owe it to the kids to put on a party and celebrate the miracle of living on this little pebble of a planet twirling in space among billions of galaxies, and a NASA rocket heading for the moon with a functioning toilet aboard. If that doesn&#8217;t call for a party, then what does?</p><p style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;"><span>Flannery O&#8217;Connor said, &#8220;Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to never was there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it.&#8221; And she was so right. &#8220;Get away from it,&#8221; to me, means a crowd in my backyard enjoying some beer and also their anti-seizure meds and somebody starts singing </span><em>Chantilly lace and a pretty face and a ponytail hanging down </em><span>and you look around and the rector from church is jumping around too. She went to Bryn Mawr and she knows the words and she&#8217;s singing her head off.</span></p><a class="youtube-wrap" href="https://substack.com/redirect/ca18cc70-b81b-43fb-a7ba-a660c95e090d?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" target="_blank" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOMStatic" style="display: block;margin: 32px 0;"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/l_youtube_play_qyqt8q,w_120/_0DnvC3y64I" style="border: none !important;vertical-align: middle;-ms-interpolation-mode: bicubic;max-width: 100%;height: auto;margin: 0 auto;display: block;width: 100%;"></a><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=193097052&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkzMDk3MDUyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUyMzk1ODcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzgzMTU4NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.4RZb-SjRaDf4SXve_nd5TPtdNw3W5gsl1FyyVHMPPM0&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton" style="margin: 0 0 20px 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 26px;font-size: 16px;text-align: center;cursor: pointer;border-radius: 4px;"><a class="button primary" href="https://substack.com/app-link/post?publication_id=292075&post_id=193097052&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&utm_campaign=email-share&action=share&triggerShare=true&isFreemail=true&r=1952ky&token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjo3NTgxOTM0NiwicG9zdF9pZCI6MTkzMDk3MDUyLCJpYXQiOjE3NzUyMzk1ODcsImV4cCI6MTc3NzgzMTU4NywiaXNzIjoicHViLTI5MjA3NSIsInN1YiI6InBvc3QtcmVhY3Rpb24ifQ.4RZb-SjRaDf4SXve_nd5TPtdNw3W5gsl1FyyVHMPPM0" rel="" style="font-family: system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;cursor: pointer;border: none;border-radius: 8px;font-size: 14px;line-height: 20px;font-weight: 600;text-align: center;margin: 0;opacity: 1;outline: none;white-space: nowrap;color: #ffffff !important;text-decoration: none !important;background-color: #930e0f;padding: 12px 20px;height: auto;"><span style="color: #ffffff;text-decoration: none;">Share</span></a></p><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;">Live shows with Garrison Keillor can feel like a party. It&#8217;s good for the soul to get together with other people and sing and laugh.</h2><h2 class="header-anchor-post" style="position: relative;font-family: 'SF Pro Display',-apple-system-headline,system-ui,-apple-system,BlinkMacSystemFont,'Segoe UI',Roboto,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif,'Apple Color Emoji','Segoe UI Emoji','Segoe UI Symbol';font-weight: bold;-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing: antialiased;-webkit-appearance: optimizelegibility;-moz-appearance: optimizelegibility;appearance: optimizelegibility;margin: 1em 0 0.625em 0;color: rgb(54,55,55);line-height: 1.16em;font-size: 1.625em;"><a href="https://substack.com/redirect/13694c19-17d3-40bb-9567-9bb5cd075634?j=eyJ1IjoiMTk1Mmt5In0.5GsXdNdpUCpo2Dz4ffhYrp-ksDvAGTXktvPA8xf8Phg" rel="" style="color: rgb(54,55,55);text-decoration: underline;">CLICK HERE</a><span> for tickets and schedule!</span></h2><div class="captioned-image-container-static" style="font-size: 16px;line-height: 26px;margin: 32px 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